Are you going to thank me?

I agree! I don't think anyone is in too much of a hurry not to say a simple "thank you" on their way in the door. My husband said it's such a common thing for people not to thank him. That's not why he does it, but it's still like a slap in the face when no one even acknowledges it. I always say "thank you," even to my husband, when a guy (or girl) opens the door for me. I just don't want them to think that their kind deed went unnoticed. I think they should be recognized for it. A couple months ago I was about to open the door to go into the gas station. A man was on his way out the same door, and we got to the door about the same time. Instead of opening it from the inside, walking outside, and letting me go in, this man (who clearly could see I was there!) waited for me to open the door and barged right through, almost running into me, before I could go inside. How rude! Not to mention, this was a set of double doors, so I could've gone in one, and he could've gone out the other. We wouldn't have even had to have this rude meeting. I just thought it was really inconsiderate of him. No one is in too much of a hurry that they can't be at least civil to others! That's what I don't understand. Manners are pretty much nonexistent nowadays. Thanks for your response!

hi lovingmybabies I use a walker and the front door here is hard to pu sh so i have a time as I need two hands on the walker and another one to shove that darned door.so when som eone holds it open I am totally grateful.there is one man here so is the same age as my son and wif he sees us having time with the door always rushes over and helps us. I always thank him too. I am watching him and a friend of mine here pairing off and thinking its sort of sweet whether they ever do more than just have a relationship or get married, its'nice to see two really great people in love witheach other.

Manners is not being taught. Back in the day, parents would teach their kids manners and if they didn't, those kids stuck out and the parents were shamed! But now the tables have turned. Now it is the kids With manners that stick out! tell Hubby to come join us here. It is fun. And... if he does to send me a friend request!

It's so sad, but very true that those who were taught manners stand out now. I can't believe how things have changed since I was young! As you know, I'm one of six kids, so when we didn't behave, we stuck out like a sore thumb! We'd be embarrassed just within our own family, much more if we misbehaved out in public. For that reason, we very rarely acted out. We knew better than to make our parents ashamed of us. I'm going to keep working on the hubby! He really needs to be on myLot!! He doesn't like to read or type much, but myLot can design the discussions (daily newsletter) and interests to what people like. I think he'd get very involved if it was stuff he was interested in. Someday I'll convince him...lol.

Thanks, Sarah! I passed along the message to hubby. He says thanks! (While he's not active on myLot, he's really getting into it now! He tells me discussions I should post, and I post them. He doesn't like to read, so I read the discussions and responses to him. That's how he gets involved here, and I love that!) I think saying "thank you" is the least someone can do when another person goes out of their way to help them, whether it's holding the door or something else. I appreciate that you know what manners are made of! That is unheard of nowadays, unfortunately.

If I am close by when a person comes to a door I will hold it open for them, male or female, makes no difference. I am disabled but it amazes me as to how many young people crowd in front of me so they don't have wait til I am able to get through the door.

Hi there manleyjoe, You know what manleyjoe, I've seen that happen quite a few times and I stand there shaking my head. If the parents early in life do not show their children manners, it will never take hold. I have waited holding the door open for a disabled person on many occasions. They might be 10 feet away, but I've waited. They've always thanked me, and I'm not in any hurry to have the door slam in their face. That's terrible. I would like it very much if someone held the door open for me if I was disabled. How nice is that! Unfortunately, many older people (my age) have cut me off in line running to get ahead of me, almost pushed their carts into mine running to get into line, won't move in the aisle with their carts and park them right in the middle, and downright look at you like you owe them something. UGH!!! I told my kids if I EVER got like that, just shoot me. Sorry to be so descriptive but I NEVER want to be like that....EVER. I feel like I want to slap them upside their heads, LOL!! JJ4EVER,....I have to say most people but not all, are polite and just take the initiative to open the door. I think it's all on the way people were raised today. I've had some pretty young guys hold the door open for me when I wasn't even that close to the door...I love it. And boy do I really make a big deal out of thanking them, and of course, with a big smile.

I do the same! Saying "Thank you" is the polite thing to do. If you were holding the door for someone, it might hurt your feelings if you were ignored! I would feel the same way. I think manners are going out the window! It's best to set a good example for others too. I would hope a man would take the hint to see you standing outside the restaurant for instance. Any guy should take the initiative to open the door for you!

Me too! I always thank whoever opens the door for me. Likewise, I will not let the door slam in someone else's face. I always look behind me to see if someone else is coming my way. If they're not up to the door yet, then sometimes I'll wait for them. Sometimes they're too far away, but that's fine because it's not like the door will slam in their face either. I try to be kind because I treat others the way I would want to be treated!

Exactly!...That's what it's all about treating people the way you want to be treated; I think people nowadays don't care.

That's the truth! It's so sad when people couldn't care less. No one is too busy or in too much of a hurry that they need to be rude to others.

If I'm not with my husband, I think it's kind for other guys to hold the door for me, but I don't expect them to. I can get the door for myself! However, I won't hold the door for another guy because that's just awkward! If it's a woman or a group of women or a woman with children, I'll absolutely hold the door for them! I like being helpful and kind to others because I'd want them to do the same for me! If I'm walking out of a restaurant or something, I'll hold the door behind me for whoever (man or woman). I don't want the door to slam in their face either because that's just rude. I've had doors slam in my face numerous times, but like you said, it's normally understandable. Either the other person wasn't paying attention, they didn't see me coming, or whatever.

Oh yes, I see what you mean. If there's a man behind me, I absolutely will hold the door. I wouldn't let it slam in his face! I just meant if we were walking up to a door. I don't mind holding the door for myself if my husband isn't there, but it'd be a bit awkward if I were holding the door for a bunch of guys to walk in lol.

Hmm, I hold the door if there's a guy behind me, I don't find that awkward at all. Now I won't hold it if they are more than say ten feet behind me, I think it just depends on how far behind me they are, it's a judgement call.

I totally agree! Not only does it not take a lot of effort, no one should be so busy or in that much of a hurry that they can't say a simple "thank you" as someone is kind to them! If they're in that much of a hurry, what would they have done if they had to open the door themselves? I don't know if people intend to be rude by just walking through without saying anything, but I think it's rude not to as well. People can't possibly be that oblivious! I always take a moment to thank people who are kind to me also, including my hubby! When someone is going to go out of his or her way to thank me, I can give them the same courtesy. It's the least I can do! Thanks for your response!!

Yeah that's it. No one should be that busy to be rude and not say thank you. Serously it's not that hard but people these days think they don't have the time but I think it's because they don't make the time! You're welcome

That movement has both helped and hurt women

That movement definitely explains a lot as to why women nowadays feel the way they do. I guess the perception is different, but for me being married has been nice because I let my husband do all of those chivalrous things. It's not that I can't hold the door for myself or open the car door getting in or out. It's just nice knowing he takes care of me, and it also shows that he has a lot of respect for me and women in general. I love to see men treat their women that way! I'm glad your family is helpful to you when there are things you can't do for yourself. You are so right when you say that "thank you" and "please" go a long way! Thanks for your response!!

Same here - I always thank whoever opens the door for me, even if it's another woman. I love to see kids show respect to others as well! My husband and I learned our manners like this from when we were kids, but nowadays it's rare to see. I always make a point to brag on kids who hold the door for me because their parents are doing the right thing. They deserve to be recognized for it!

I have taught my boys to be polite and they tend to open doors for me and others without being asked to do so. When it's children most people feel compelled to respond in kind and say thank you or make other complimentary remarks to them or about them to me. It makes me feel good as a parent that my boys can and will demonstrate their manners and that their small efforts are appreciated. Some teenage boy even gave my youngest a dollar once cause he opened the door as the boy was leaving the store. He was so proud of himself that he asked me to put it in the bank-smh. I agree that there seems to be a gap in our education on manners and how it's being taught to our children. We should show gratitude that someone was kind enough to open a door for us or hold it open as we approach. They don't have to, but it's the small things like that that makes our corner of the world a nicer place.

Thank you for your kind words about my husband. That certainly means the world to both of us! I agree with you. I think people should thank others who are kind to them, whether it's their job to do so or not. For instance, even if I walked by a doorman who held the door for me only because it was his job, I'd still thank him. It'd be mostly out of habit, but I think it's the polite thing to do.

That's really kind of you that you show good manners and politeness to hold the door for anyone and everyone! If the door is heavy, as a woman, I'm that much more grateful when someone holds it for me. Your response reminded me of medieval times where the men always held the doors for women. I think they were trying to be polite, but that wasn't the main reason. I heard it was because the women's bodices and dress were so tight (because all the ladies had to have the perfect 18-inch waist) that they would pass out if they held those huge, heavy doors of the castles from back in the day. Interesting, isn't it? I'm glad you were brought up like me, having good manners and being kind to others. I agree that we should be treating others as we would like to be treated. That's so easy to forget a lot of times!

My instinct is automatic as well, just like you. If I get to the door first, I'll grab it. Most of the time, the men I'm with including my hubby will make it a point to get there first, so that's nice. There's nothing more awkward than neither person taking initiative to grab and hold the door for others, so I just don't let that happen!

I think it's nice for men to treat ladies with respect, so I agree with you. I'll always say thank you until I can't anymore! I'm grateful for chivalrous acts like this.

I like that! Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean men need to automatically go out of their way for me. I shouldn't expect it, but I should express my thanks when they go out of their way to have good manners. I'll have low expectations, but I'll always express my thanks if they surprise me!

I think that's a good thing when you don't mind the outcome either way. That shows that you are easygoing, and that you're holding the door for the right reasons - not simply to get a "thanks." If you feel good about holding the door for others whether they thank you or not, then you are doing a good thing and should feel great about it! I remember having fun with holding doors for people when I was a kid. My parents always taught me manners, but it was especially fun for my siblings and me to hold the doors for others because of their reactions. I remember doing things like that when I was little. People always have the greatest reactions when a kid holds the door for them. Likewise, I love when kids hold the door for me because it shows their parents are raising them with manners!

You're right - it's a nice gesture to hold the door for someone, but unfortunately cannot be expected every time since some people have manners, and some don't. I will always give others the benefit of the doubt, though! I also know that people can change. Holding the door or not isn't a game-changer, but it's good to be kind to others. It makes you feel good! I like to acknowledge the kind deeds of others, so I'll always thank them.

Hey! I think the key is to take the time to open the door for someone or take the time to thank them if they're so kind to do so for you. For people who don't take the millisecond to do either of those things, it's a little surprising to me as well because of the short amount of time it takes to be kind of essentially make someone's day. I'm glad you're kind and take the time!

Yes, exactly! It's just the right thing to do. I always ask "why not?" as well. It's so easy and simple to do, and takes seconds to be kind to someone else. You never know, you may never see this person again, and one second - the time it takes to be kind to them - could make a huge difference. It's better to take advantage of the time we have, being kind to others, treating them the way we'd like others to treat us.

It's always good to help others. I'm glad that makes you happy, even if ladies don't express their thanks!

Thanks for your response! I would hope my hubby doesn't ever feel unappreciated because I think very highly of him and don't know where I'd be without him! However, I think maybe to a certain extend he'll feel taken advantage of when he's not thanked for his kindness. However, it's probably best for him to just hold the door and expect nothing in return. If he has lower expectations of others, he won't ever be disappointed when they don't thank him. That's probably the best way for him to view others and this type of scenario in general. I appreciate your comments!

It should be a common courtesy to acknowledge, but not expect the kindness of others. I hope that children being brought up in this generation are being taught these manners, but you just never know.