How much can a Person take in Life
By Gabs
@gabs8513 (48686)
United Kingdom
July 12, 2012 4:25pm CST
Like a lot of People here Life has been hard on me
From the age of 5 years old it was cruel to me, since my divorce 9 years ago I have had my tough takes but it got a bit easier even though at times the past haunts me at times
Also 9 years ago I was hit with the Illness Emphasimia and COPD which knocked me to my lowest
I have always got up again, I went through the trauma of my Daughter being beaten up, my Son nearly killed by his Ex Fiancee then shortly after beaten to a bad way
Both my Babies have got through it, my Son had found happiness only to be kicked in the Stomach again, this time though there is a Baby on the way which my Son believed 100% (even though the way she had treated him and pushed him away) it is his, now we have doubts as he has found out she is with someone else and knew this Person at the time of falling, my Son is now only 95% sure specially as over the last Months she has been nasty, not accepting his support, not letting him go to the Scans, finding excuses why he can't go, it has now hit my Son that something is not right, so when the Baby is born there will be a DNA Test done, I was happy at the thought of being a Grandma for the first time, but when she started hurting my Son and things like that I got mad and sad at the same time but I never interfered I gave my Boy advise and support when he phoned and was down, he nearly jeopardized his Job over all this which took him a while to find and which he had worked for hard by doing courses but he has now picked up and has decided he will not put anything at risk any more and that makes me so happy because like me he has been hurt so often, stood on but he always gets back up
I will be behind him all the way and so is his Sister when the time comes for the test, the fight for 50% Custody and if I have to I will fight for Grandparent rights
But the real Question is and not just on my part I think on many Peoples part 'How much can a Person take in Life' I mean for me it has been a Roller Coaster my Childhood got taken at the age of 5 but I carried on, I made my Life livable but still at times I just wanted to give up my Children kept me going even through the Marriage
I have always lived with the believe NEVER GIVE UP BECAUSE IF YOU DO YOU GIVE UP ON LIFE
What do you believe keeps us going ????
3 people like this
16 responses
@ElicBxn (63643)
• United States
12 Jul 12
At my lows I just keep telling myself "one foot in front of the other."
One of the things I did was change myself. I really hated myself and decided that I was going to have to change to a person I could like.
It was REALLY hard work, and its ongoing, but from the time I was nearly 15 until now I've been working on it. One foot in front of the other.
I've had a lot of losses this last year, 5 cats and we may be losing a 6th if he doesn't start doing better.
I had a good family growing up, there was no REASON I was depressed, but I was. Now we know about chemical depression, but 50 years ago? I don't think so.
I just keep plodding along, I've learned if you don't let them see you hurting, they give up...
1 person likes this
@sharksfin (1091)
• Philippines
12 Jul 12
I believe that a person can take as much as he is willing. It's not really based on one's strength. It's just all about IF he's willing to choose to get by. Once we just give up and give in to our weakness, there's nothing left but hopelessness. If we only keep choosing not to focus on the sad episodes of our lives, we'll see that there are actually more wonderful episodes. And that the sad episodes only makes us enjoy the happy ones better.
I noticed that people are disposed to watching so much drama on tv that even in their own lives, they are prone to keep rewinding the episode where they had cried their hearts out. And rarely do they go back to those parts where it's all fun and laughter. Maybe not everyone but most are. And this shouldn't. Life has its up and down. In fact, if we just listen to more stories, there are sadder ones and we can tell ourselves that ours aren't as bad, after all.
Let's all stay positive. We can take as much if we only receive them with gladness and positivity that it's not always gonna be cloudy. There's always rainbow after every storm. ^_^ Happy day!
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
12 Jul 12
Yes a lot of People do watch a lot of Drama but sometimes it takes their mind of theirs maybe not in all cases but in some, some People also can not leave the past totally behind as there are scenes that will haunt for the rest of their life's but they carry on and live Life to their best
Thank you for your response
@sharksfin (1091)
• Philippines
12 Jul 12
Actually, there's a study in Psychology that explains why people are into something. It's because they can associate with that something consciously or subconsciously. You're right when you said for some it takes their mind off their own sorrow. True. But, what, actually draws them to those drama is their association to it.
And...true, too, that some people can't find it easy to leave the past behind. Because memories remain. I agree and I know this for a fact. But, truth is, they can only stay as long as we allow them to. Yes, we may carry them forever and get by but those are baggage that we don't need. And they're actually making our journey harder. We can let go of some baggage at least one at a time so we can move lightly toward a brighter future.
Thanks for sharing your story. It's actually encouraging. And it's from your own story, too, that I somehow am able to say the things that I said. *wink*
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
14 Jul 12
no one knows why life turns out to be so difficult for some people. I am one the people who has had and continues to have a bad life. When we die and go to heaven maybe it will all become clear to us at that time.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
14 Jul 12
generally speaking it is just starting to get better, I was almost a street person a few years back, then I am in a place where I can cover my rent and a few bills so it is better
and in sept I am moving to a low rental so it will start to get better from there on. But when you look at my whole life it has been a struggle from the day I was born.
that is all written in my first book.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
13 Jul 12
What I have learned is it is not life so much as your reaction to it. If we could ask most of us no matter where we live have not had easy lives. But I am determined to face what come and to treasure it for the lessons I learn. I know I face what I must for a good reason and so once I get over the emotions I start looking for the lesson, the why am I here question. I have also learned to use Tapping for not only physical pain but all emotional upset also. The more I train my mind and my body in this way the better it works, I only really suffer when I forget to use this method. PM me if you want more info on this subject. Blessings Pat
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
13 Jul 12
Hi Pat
That is the thing at first there is all the emotions and then the mind sets in to work out how to get through it and once that sets in there is no stopping me and I know no matter what I will get through it and yes I would like to know more about that subject that you have mentioned please
@savypat (20216)
• United States
14 Jul 12
If you want to learn about tapping go to tapping.com and watch the video. What this does is train the mind to respond to accupressure points by tapping them while you alert it toward your problem. It's very easy, it's free and the more you do it the better it works. I have extreme hand pain and I have done this so much that all I need to do is tap one or two points to releave the pain. Depending on how much pain and how long I wish to use my hands will determine how many times I have to repeat the process during the day. Just recently I have startedd working on my depression and it's helping more and more. I hope you try this and it helps.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
14 Jul 12
I think that alot of times each other keeps us going. We are strong because we believe we have to be for the people we love in our lives. Once we take a kick to the stomach...what will happen to them if we don't get back up..right? I know I have gained a lot of inner strength from having my children to depend on me. You are a tough cookie gabs and you have that too...people that love and depend on you.
I know there are people out there that have an amazing amount of strength that don't have others that depend on them. I guess to understand how they do it and make it through, they would have to share. I know there have been times I don't think I could have done it without someone depending on me to do it. It's tough and I suppose finding a reason to go on is the key.
Take care and hang in there. It is great to see you.
1 person likes this
@olliekobra1 (1825)
•
12 Jul 12
it sounds like you have gone through a lot but the human spirit is a magnificiant thing and it sounds like you are an amazing person. It helps to have good friends and a family that loves you behind you but ultimatly its down to the human spirit.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
12 Jul 12
Hi Ollie
Thank you
For most of my Life I had to fight and get on alone, now I have wonderful Friends who have helped through things and of course my Children who adults are always there they where wonderful when I first got diagnosed with my Illness and they where only 15 and 18 then but they where with me all the way but I agree the Human Spirit has a lot to do with it
Thank you
@olliekobra1 (1825)
•
12 Jul 12
its nice that you have a good family behind you when you are always down you can always count on your family for support.
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
13 Jul 12
hang in there Gabs...we all get through because life is like that always pushing us down but what she doesn't realise is we are made of harder stuff. I too have been going through tough times lately,worst is when you fin there is no home to go to no shoulder to lean on , past haunts me too. And on worst days it gets me all depressed and giving up. You know someone told me when you are down in the dumps, just listen to some music and try and perk up yourself because in the end you are the only person you are going to rely on. so I have started doing that only. Try some today, put on your favourite music and get through this day and the next till you are up again.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
13 Jul 12
Hi Ambie
It is ok you and I will get through things we always have and we always will just sometimes I need to let it out
I am trying to make sense of it all but not working lol, so now we will just take it Day by Day and when the time comes that we have to fight we will
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
13 Jul 12
I am not sure....my kids and my grandkids keep me going outside of that there wouldn't be much. My son and his wife are having problems right now....so my day started out with him calling to tell me that he found out last night that she has had a boyfriend for 4 of the 8 years that they have been married.....yet he wants to work it out. I personally am having a hard time, I have tried to be there for her....defended her when she has done somethings that we all don't understand....and basically treated her like one of my own. But I think even if they work things out I'll have a problem treating her like I have in the past. When he called this morning it made me sick to my stomach....this afternoon I am better but still questioning how I will treat her next time I see her. We camp together every weekend we can. Life is nothing but a b*tch sometimes.....hopefully things will get better. I am glad though they only have one little girl....more kids would make it a bigger mess!
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
13 Jul 12
I am sorry to read this Jill and yes it will be hard to deal with but the only thing I will say is try your best to treat her normal for your Sons sake, I am treating my Sons Ex still the same as such as I do not want her to make Mikes Life h*ll hen the baby is born but if she starts once little one is here then I will have words
I really hope that your Son can sort this out I really do all you can do there is support him as much as you can it is sad specially as she has had this boyfriend for that length of time, she will have to make her choice now you are in my thoughts dear Friend
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Jul 12
hi gabs think its like my physical therapist said" YOu can always
do more than you think you can."I hated having to co me here to
Gold crest b ut we had no money and no place to go and o ur friends did all they could to help us bu t as they were just renters they could not let us stay indefinitely. so this was the best and here I am and I stuck it out. my son now has a full time job but to get it he took a salary cut.He is still living with four others to a bedroom in Santa Ana close to his work. we had hoped he would make enough to afford a two bedroom apt here but they are horribly expensive made to have two full salaries before people rent all adults must work.So we too never gave up and we never will. Gabs I do hope things will get better for your son and you too.take care hugs from hatley
@yoyo1198 (3641)
• United States
13 Jul 12
We don't give up becuse we have no other choice. I mean, just look at the alternative. I think that when one gives up, they die either by their own hand or just wish themselves gone. I've seen the latter happen.
I've had a hard life too which I won't go into here but I had no choice except to pick myself up and go on. I've had to do that in a major way about four times over my lifetime. The last being just four years ago. I do hope and pray that was the last time. Don't think I could do it again at my age.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
13 Jul 12
im like you. ive had every bad break in life there is. name it and its happened to me except for my kids have all survived this long. although they have had so much bad crap happen to them that ive began to wonder if my luck has not passed on to them or if demon passed us a curse or else as my daughter has said, perhaps we were the Borgias or something in a former life? karma
anyway, the only thing thats ever kept me going is my kids. they have always said what will they do without my love and care. now i also worry over my coco as much as i have the kids. 
thats another thing. as another friend of mine on here said, when the going gets tough, the tough keeps going. lol
@sulsisels (1685)
• United States
12 Jul 12
Hi Gaby
I can only say one thing but I believe this with all my heart. God never gives us more than we can handle. You may not understand why so much as happened to you, but one day, you will. It will become very clear. Have faith in God Gaby..He'll never leave you. Feel better..Love lots Joyce xo
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
12 Jul 12
Hi Sweetie
I am ok I was just worried about my Boy (28) but always will be my Boy lol but like me he picks up and fights on believe me Sweet I know there is a reason for everything but sometimes I do ask why and what is the reason big hugs and much love
You need to send me you email again Sweet please xx
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
13 Jul 12
you know, my dear gabs, I dont believe in Religion but I do believe in God. This Supreme Power decides and gives us what we can handle. If at times, there is something which comes to us for which we are unprepared, the Lord also gives us the courage, the patience and a lot more to continue with this.
When I was bedridden for 8 months, we were in the 11th month of our wedded life. It was a love marriage and you know how miserable one can feel when there is a world which has just opened up and there is so much to do and you end up in the bed.
I also felt miserable when doctors had told me in 2005 that I have Ulcerative colitis and very soon, I would not be able to live a normal life. That is a shocker when you hear it at 31 years - when you are almost nearing the peak of your career and quite so close to reaching those dreams.
I was, yes, I was really really down, frustrated.
Over the years, I have learned to live with these and today, I am thankful that I have these ailments. They might have closed many doors for me but definitely have opened a few others. At times, I also think - it is good that I have been chosen for these ailments - at least I have someone with me who cares, but there are many people who dont get so lucky as they dont have anyone to care about them.
I agree with you - one must not give up. Life is always larger than the pain and sufferings and there are many things much beautiful and wonderful beyond the pain and sufferings.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
13 Jul 12
I am not religious either but I have my own believes and yes I believe in God as well and I know we are only dealt with what we can deal with as hard as it can be
My problem is when it comes to my Son and Daughter I am over protective and I just want to take the hurt and problems away, they are good Children and sensible both of them are my live and I am proud of both of them, see when you are told at the age of 16 you can't have children and then you are blessed with 2 (even though the pregnancies where hard but worth it) you just want them to be happy all the time and not hurt I mean my Son is 28 my Daughter 25 but they are wonderful and I know I am very lucky to have them both
It must have been very hard for you to accept all this, I know I was in a bad way when I was diagnosed with what I have, it was hard, I was always active, working bringing up 2 Children (my Ex Husband preferred his social Life) a House to keep and of course be there for my 2 Children to talk to and to sit and listen to anything that bothered them, so I was shocked when my Life changed but in your case I do not know if I could have dealt as well as you have, I had my 2 Children to help me through the time as my Ex Husband and I split up after 21 years of a not good Marriage
I am so happy that you have someone that loves you so much and that she is with you through all of this
Hugs dear Friend
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
19 Jul 12
I think being alive keeps us going. While ever we draw breath, we have life and therefore choice. Don't we all choose life until such time as we know for sure we have come to the end?
Most of our adult distress and unhappiness comes from bad choices we make, I'm not saying ALL, but I think most. These choices come from all our life experiences. Some make us stronger, some make us vulnerable but we carry on because we are alive and while ever we can we continue to put one foot in front of the other.
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
21 Jul 12
dear Gabs thats really touching and I am so sad that your Son is treated as bad as that by someone he loved and maybe still loves. Its rare to find a man like him who will even be interested in accompanying to the scans etc. and taking care of the kid when there was a breakup before the child was even born.
So I imagine that hurts him the most, that he is as caring as can be and now she treats him like trash and he cant even be sure its his kid.
Back to your question, for me it was the marvellous example of my Grandma keeping me up and running. When she passed away I was 25 and as she had lived in our house for more than 20 years, I felt very close to her and when I stood at the open grave as the last of the family members I said Grandma I dont let them oppress and ridicule me to their delight only you are no more here to stop them and I will be a fighter as you taught me to be.
My neighbour who heard me say this was shocked but I didnt give a damn.
I had to endure that ridiculing and mocking for a good number of years since but I didnt give up on life as I knew that would not be what my personal Hero Grandma would like me to do.
