Is it wise or stupid to trust people UNTIL something happens?

Really?!? So the people that hurt you the most, having to do it all over again, you would allow them to hurt you all over again, because the memory was worth it? I can't say that about any awful experience I have had. I would have been much better off without the memory at all. I would have been good if I had never known that individual. To me, what you said sounds like borderline insanity. As for people acting out of character... What is most common is they are faking it for a long time, and then the mask slips off, and the real them comes out. I remember this best from my High School days so long ago. A guy that was a jerk to nearly everyone, sees a girl he likes and slips on the "great guy" mask, and treats her great. Then after a few months of dating, he sees another girl he likes more, and treats the first girl like the jerk he is to everyone, because he's no longer interested in her the way he was. Then you hear the girl say "oh he's acting out of character" or "he's changed somehow". No, he didn't change. Nor is he acting out of character. In reality, he's acting IN character around you for the first time. He either got what he wants from you, or he no longer wants something from you now, and he's no longer faking it around you. Now perhaps the person has just completely lost it this one time, or something crazy is going on the is temporarily messing him up. But most of the time, they were faking it for ages, and now the mask is off, and you are seeing the real them for the first time.

andy77e, I agree. It's very easy for some people to wear a mask to conceal their real intent. I prefer not to trust. I can live without the hurtful, angry memories. My belief is that you never really know anyone. One example would be a divorcing couple. One or both of them turn into a person the other never knew existed. They become so horrible to the other person they say and do things that are hurtful in the extreme. I know this is not the exact thing you are saying. Divorcing couples are under extreme pressure and/or stress. It's almost a case of self preservation sometimes. My point is that one of the partners will say I never thought he/she would do anything like that. They're seeing a side of someone they thought they knew extremely well, even after 15-20yrs of being married. A side they never thought existed or could even be possible. They are not prepared for what their partner has apparently become. On a less extreme scale, there are many people who lead double lives. And then you have the ordinary, everyday mask wearer. You may never know there is another side to a person. Unless, for some reason unbeknownst to you, you become their target. Casual friendships are fine and I have had a few very close friends. But all in all I believe it is safer not to trust most people because, as I said, you never really know anyone.

What if it's somebody you've known a LONG time? There was never any deception, not like someone who acts a certain way to gain your trust and then totally changes into a different person after. I just find it odd that if you know someone for a long time, how would you even see it coming?

Once a servent would work in a house and he was so honest and sincere that the houseowner believed him to be ever honest. Many times the house owner would entrust him with a big money. As usuall the servent would give the money back just whenever the houseowner would like to get. Many years passed in such way of fidelity. One day the servent suddenly fled with whatever amount the houseowner has entrusted him. He left the place forever. The houseowner no more has felt to search him out too. Because he felt no use to chase a scam. Actually hardly anyperson are there who really bears the genuine values and morality. People, due to enviromental presure, not being compelled by values, are compelled to adopt the way of fairness. But 99% bears kinda tendency of going scam. Just whenever the chance comes, those go scam instantly. Usually I dont believe anyone to be my real friend. But I never make them understand that I'm trying to avoid him or her as well as his or her forgery. I think doing that is inhuman. I have entertained every of my friends or neighbours. But hardly anyone there who have entertained me. I can easily detect one's deceptive manner or plan. But I feel hesitated to mention that to his face thinking that he will get embarrassed or ashamed before me. Simply I pass him away and try to overlook him gently. Even the educated people are more deceptive than the illiterate ones in my country. For duty's purpose, I had to interact with many officials including officers. I have not seen any fair person in my life. I have seen many tie and suite wearing gentlemen going scam. Actually educated people of my country are problems. I dont care any person from the core of my heart. I try hard to spare my salute from being wasted for those educated persons(tut tut not person but people). Rather I associate with people like day lobourers and talk to them from my mind. I wish them they survive with honour and progress. Speaking about cyber forgery or scam, I would say that all job sites(except few article writing site) are scammers. There are few money earning sites that realy pays. But the extraction cost of that internet income is more than the amount the site pays itself. So far as I can assume that the humen including me on earth are not civilized or has not evolved enought to achieve actual humanity. So trust is no where and real relation is quite absurd. Stay fine.

I think it was a matter of misunderstanding on top of a random 'said something you didn't really mean' type of thing. With all these people claiming something out of character really IS how a person might be, I gotta laugh. People you've known for years and years - unless they snap and go nuts - wouldn't hide their true selves for THAT long.

Recently a friend told me that I tend to be very giving and that she knows some people might try to take advantage of that. I don't really know any other way to BE with the people I'm closest to, especially if they are having a rough time. I don't like to see my friends suffer so if there's anything I can do, I try, even if they don't want to let me lol. I am always open to meeting new people, the thing is, you NEVER hit it off with EVERYBODY. Out of 10 new people you meet, you may only really like ONE of them. The problem comes when you start spending time with the person you hit it off with, and several others out of the 10 suddenly have issues that you like that person more than you like them. Tough beans, sweetie, I mean I pick and choose who I spend time with based upon how much I enjoy their company, what we have in common, etc. It's not personal, it's just how it is.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I have never been swindlesd. I guess I treated them too nicely that they didn't have the heart to swindle me. Swindle is a strong word and i'm not that stupid enough to let people trick me into that. I'm beyond that.

After being repeatedly swindled wont you master the skill of detecting any scam so before being the victim?