Almost 30 - Without a Job
@penrockerchic (1903)
Philippines
September 20, 2012 8:03am CST
Can you see yourself at the age of 30 and still without a job? How would you feel?
I have these two not so close friends/ acquaintances who are in such a situation. One is almost 30 while the other is a little over 30 years old. Both of them still depend on their parents. Both still live with them. Just to be clear, they don't know each other. I met the other one from a different set of friends and the other, through one of my co-workers. I am just appalled by how they live and how they act. They don't feel any kind of shame for being in the same situation, 10 years ago. They never even get to have a decent job. One is never accepted because he's a little arrogant, and he usually flunks final interviews. The other one, has no patience and easily affected by what others say or act towards her, that she never got to stay in a job for at least 6 months. She comes and goes. So, right now, I still see them with no job, no savings, no direction in life.
The other one has even got the gut to ask his parents when his motorbike, (which was a gift from his dad), broke when he met an accident. He only has to ask his dad for money, for his expensive apartment and lucrative lifestyle, and never gets to be ashamed for his status in life.
The other one is friendly, but I can't understand why she can't seem to live in harmony with people she works with, thus ending up to be just at home, and never really has the determination to look for a job.
I can't understand why some people are like this and they're not embarrassed. They don't even think of their future. I believe that life is short and at my age, I feel like there's more that I want to do and accomplish rather than just staying at home, doing nothing and not knowing where I want to be in the next ten years. These two people just really pisses me off. It annoys me when I see them that way and remaining the same way.
4 people like this
23 responses
@laglen (19759)
• United States
20 Sep 12
I think you answered your own questions. Their parents allow it. There is a point that "tough love" has to come into the equation. There is a point as a parent, you must tell your kids to get off the couch and get a job or be homeless. It is a shame, their parents will not live forever. What will they do then? What if they fall in love and want to get married? How will they support a family. It is a shame. Enough coddling, make your kids take responsibility for themselves. Their parents are not doing them any favors by making them lazy and unaccountable.
In my opinion, when you finish high school, you either go to college or you get a job and your own place. I have an 18 year old. She chose college (I am VERY proud of her), she has four years on my dime, as long as she keeps her current momentum. Should she choose to leave school, she would then have to get a job and cover herself.
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
That's nice of you, having to bring up your kid with that mindset. I guess tough love should start to come in like you said. I just can't imagine them taking care of another person, let alone, have family of their own, when they still depend on what their parents give them.
Here in our country, going to college is tough when it comes to its financial aspects. Parents sacrifice a lot to have their kids finish college, because it's almost always the only way for a person to get a decent enough job. They are both with degrees, and with that, parents expect them to get a job. But, probably, they don't get to do it due to lack of push from their own parents.
1 person likes this
@laglen (19759)
• United States
21 Sep 12
I have a niece there in the Philippines starting college. I understand the money constraints. We have the same problem here. I am considered "low income". but I figure my main job is to be sure she can get her degree. As long as she keeps good grades, I will pay the debt :)
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
22 Sep 12
That's the spirit. I'm sure she will do well with her studies and soon you'll have a daughter with a college degree. You must really be a proud parent. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@crimsonose80 (283)
• Canada
20 Sep 12
I feel bad for these friends of yours...To me it sounds like one of your friends has self-confidence issues that's why and the other one has a hard time letting go living at his parents house since he has it all with them like paying for his expensive lifestyle..He is not ashamed of being treated like a kid and he needs to learn how to grow up and be more humble..Tell him that his lifestyle bothers you and offer help with job searches especially at job interviews..I don't think there is a course on how to be humble he just needs to realize it on his own and that's part of the reason he is not getting anywhere with his life..
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
I don't think the guy wanted any help when it comes to job hunting. I saw him refuse our common friend when he tried to help him with finding a job. I'm not sure with the self-confidence issue of the other. The thing is, she's very friendly with others but never really got to be in good relationship with her colleagues. Maybe she's lazy. I don't know. I just wish they'd see the errors of their ways. Thanks for the links. I appreciate it.
@crimsonose80 (283)
• Canada
21 Sep 12
It's too bad when we can't help those who need help when they don't want to accept our offer..
I hope that they realize one day that they need to grow up and stand on both feet..
@crimsonose80 (283)
• Canada
20 Sep 12
i found something online that may help your friends..
this one is for your lady friend..
http://tinyurl.com/9m644m2
this one is for your guy friend
http://tinyurl.com/8m3u5v2
@ShepherdSpy (8544)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
20 Sep 12
It seems they're in that situation because they appear to be goalless in life and/or their parents haven't yet decided to kick them out of the "nest" to fend for themselves..Perhaps they make themselves useful at home?
We have a similar situation here with those able bodied and Jobless living on Welfare payments..as long as they're on welfare,there are payments for child support,accommodation,free dental treatment,etc..the attitude seems to be,if they can have it all given to them,why work for an equivalent wage and pay their way in society?
@ShepherdSpy (8544)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
21 Sep 12
While I like the idea of having our "safety net",it IS annoying to hear the stories about it keeping those comfortable who are able to work but won't...
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
It's a little bit different here. We don't have welfare payments. Unless both of their parents are super rich, then I'd understand if they wouldn't have to work a single day in their life. I'm not sure if their parents told them to get a job or something like that, but they do appear to be goalless. They don't seem to have any direction in their lives. Thanks for the response. I appreciate your information. It's this way that I get to know other people and other countries and their ways of living.
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
21 Sep 12
I don't want to be among of what we so called member of unemployed individuals. 10 days after I finished my college I was called from a Manager of a a very good standing company. I didn't hesitate to tell him YES I WILL for on your company. Since then, already 11 years, I do best to have a job. Just 2 year years ago I started working abroad until now.
I don't want to depend to my parents or to any of my siblings. I want to help others than others will help me.
I don't want to depend to my parents or to any of my siblings. I want to help others than others will help me.@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
That's a very good attitude julyteen. Even I couldn't stand the thought of not being employed for years. I'd understand if one has to take care of kids or other family members, but, a situation where someone just depends on parents and just be at home or have fun all the time using their parents' money, is something I wouldn't want to be in. If opportunity knocks, one should grab it just like you did when you had that call. Keep it up.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
22 Sep 12
It is aggravating to see people sometimes that have no ambition. I know someone now that could have had jobs but wasn't willing to take what was offered. She thinks she is too good for those particular jobs so she would rather have nothing. Just think though...that is a bigger piece of the pie for you.
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
22 Sep 12
Great thinking! I haven't thought of it that way. Well, it's their loss anyways. 
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 12
Once a friend of mine has not had a job when he was almost 30 years old, he has applied in many places and a couple of times get a job but only last for 1 month. He was unemployed for a long time, and finally he decided to move to another city, and now he has a job with a big salary. I never imagined myself in a position I would have no income at the age of 30 years, and I'm not going to let that happen to me.
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
That's nice to hear about your friend. Good thing he tried it somewhere else and never gave up. That's what I'm talking about. When one gets older, one must realize to try his luck and try again even though he failed a lot of times. He must be very happy now that he is earning as much and enjoying his job and his salary all on his own. 
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
20 Sep 12
It will be interesting to see if they ever change. I do know that I wasted a lot of my time and my money in my 20s because I just wanted to have fun, but I stopped after a couple of years. But these people might just take longer to grow up.
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
I was kind of like you. I wasted about first 3 years in my career, going out and living by the day, not thinking of my expenses at all. I guess that's normal. At least, you realized that life isn't just about having fun all the way. Maybe, these two might take time to grow up and mature into someone that their parents can be proud of.
@primeaque86 (8108)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
We must live a life of abundance, but not when we just sit and wait for some gold from heaven fall upon us... yeah that's right... life is short and we must act towards our desire, there's no idling anymore, who knows what will happen tomorrow? Anyway, there are really people like these two you have just shared... I guess they do not look for their future, or they have no plan for it at all because they have family to rely with, but if someday they will realize that survival lies on their shoulder, I guess they will change their views... Nice discussion my friend!
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
20 Sep 12
I first have to point out the fact that someone should not always be ashamed when they are thirty years old and don't have a job. For example, I'm thirty-two years old now and I don't have a job and I actually haven't had a job for six years. The reason that I've not been working is because of the fact that I decided to stay at home with my children while they were young and that is something in my life that I actually take pride in.
I don't, however, ask for my mother to support our family. We've managed to support ourselves even through the period while my husband was going through chemotherapy last year and I was taking care of him as well as taking care of our children.
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
Your case is different. I actually applaud mothers who choose to take care of their kids and raise them with their loving husband. The thing is, you have a family, and you don't ask for support from your parents. The other two I mentioned, don't have a family of their own to take care of. What you do just shows how responsible you are. But for a single person, without kids of their own, should at least try to look for a job and not depend entirely on their parents' income.
Being a wife and a mom is one of the hardest job in the world and I respect you for that. By the way, I hope your husband is doing well. How is he?
@tudney (4)
• United States
20 Sep 12
Some people that have parents who take care of them dont care about finding a job less alone having one. Thats what makes it so bad. Every body dont have parents with a lot of money. And most of them are arrogant and not ashamed. Most look at the working people as being beneath them. You are lucky if you are fortunate friend to have a like this who is not arrogant. Just work and take care of yourself and your children if you have them and the lord will take of the rest
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
Yes, thank you. That's what I plan to do and would continue doing until I get to my goals. I do have friends who are well off and were brought up to use money wisely and earn lucrative gifts from their parents. These gifts are not handed to them. They earn them in different ways and they are very responsible when it comes to handling their finances and taking good care of their own family. I have a friend who has a sister who was promised by his dad a new car when she graduated from college without a boyfriend. And she did. Same friend was rewarded a new car when he landed a job after college.
@watchamacallitz (1171)
• Philippines
20 Sep 12
Probably they just cant find work until now. Or maybe they are just simply lazy. As for me, I cannot stand a month without work. I have to earn money for myself and my son of course and to be able to give money to my parents. Let us just not follow their bad examples.
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
So true. It's not that they can't find work right now. It's just that they don't get out of their house to look for one, or even try online. I totally agree with you. And I'm sure to teach people around me and my kids to not be like them.
@idea24share (439)
• India
21 Sep 12
I do not accept your view. No body likes to stay in home and will become idle. Situation make them like that. Some person gets job after he finished the college life. Some still search job but cannot find his related job. For ladies they have the chance in home by telling excuses like taking care of childs and some issues. But for gents they need to survive without rest on their entire life to save the family. No company takes care of men and they want their work to be finished immediately.
Comapnies are asking how much experience you have in this field. This situation makes people to keep idle. Comapanies first interview the person and employ him in their concern to the suitable job for him. Comapnies should not ask when you finished your degree and what you are doing all these days. If they ask technical questions and people are ready to say the answer for that you must take the person for your company. Lot of useless questions asked by companies now-a-days.
If you give work on the person liking field they never hesitate to quit the job and they will work efficiently. But companies will not employing the person in their desired field. Several people are working without interest in their job. They are working but they are finishing their work without much interest because they are not working in their interested field. If one person wants to work in his interest field after some years of work from other field and enters in to his desired field companies asks so many of questions and they get stressed.
Companies first change their attitude and employ all the people in the right field. If this thing happends then only you can't see people without job. Until these things will continue.
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
I'm not sure if my discussion wasn't that clear. All I'm saying is that these two that I mentioned don't even try to look for any job that they like, even online, when there are just so many opportunities for growth and a great career. Most people I know don't like to be sitting at home and doing nothing. They like the idea of earning and supporting themselves. But these two people that I shared with you, don't even think about that. They have all the skills and tools, but they just seem lazy.
It's not about hiring someone because of a degree or for lack of it, but it's about two people not even wanting to try to look for one and persevere. If you've been rejected once, would you just sit at home and do nothing about it or would you look for other opportunities that you might get lucky with and might even enjoy? The problem is, these two, don't do any of that. They depend on the income of their parents. I might understand them if they're the richest people in the city or even in the country, but they're not. Both of their parents are employees who happen to earn decent enough income for the family.
Anyway, thanks for your feedback. I appreciate it.
@Shavkat (140097)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
It depends on the situation, we can not blame people who can not have a good working environment. Eventually, take the action of moving out from that job. I am sure, they do think for their future. They haven't find the right path yet. You will know this, when you are in their shoes. Have a great day!
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
I sure hope that they do think for their future because I can't seem to accept the idea of having to depend on their parents for the rest of their lives. The reason why I started this discussion is to be able to understand them, what goes on in their mind, by reading what others might say. Maybe, being in their shoes could be different and could shed some light to this puzzle. Thanks!
@lizrelox (144)
• Philippines
20 Sep 12
Well I can say these people are not thinking about their future. They are not thinking what will be their situation if they lost support from their parents or maybe if they lost their parents. These kind of people who were not able to get a decent job at the age of 30 are clueless how is it like to be an independent person. There are really people like that. I just hope that their parents or other close family members will be able to talk to them about it. Because if a friend will just try to give them an advice they might take it negatively. I am so sure that I will teach my son how to be an independent person.
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
Yeah, I quite agree that it might really be difficult if a friend tells them about it 'cause it might just cause some rift among friends. I hope that they'd see how important being independent is especially at this age. Don't forget to teach your son how to be independent 'cause this will really make a huge difference in his life when taught at the right age.
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
5 Oct 12
Yes it is a shame their continue to be people out their like this, and personally, I continue to put a lot of the blame on the parents. Their is a guy I know who is 51 and has pretty much lived with his parents his whole life. Sad thing is, if something ever happened to them he would have nothing. He got let go from McDonald and has only found part time .work since then and not had to worry about it considering they will help pay for anything that he cannot. What are their parents really thinking in cases like this? Don't they ever want to see their kids succeed?
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
20 Sep 12
Honestly they need to think of their future. Their parents will not be alive forever and they will need to be prepared to enter the real world and support themselves. I think if nothing else they need to go back to school, find a trade they can do mostly secluded, if nothing else.
Maybe they are embarrassed though, and just not showing it?
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
The thing is, they don't seem embarrassed at all or even have the hint of pretending not to be embarrassed. They're both with college degrees and they never seem to be worried about their future. Just like you said, their parents are not going to be around very long, and that's where I start to wonder, like, how can they still relax with their life, and not think of supporting themselves when their parents are gone.
@kourdapya (924)
• Philippines
13 Feb 13
I think you need not worry about them, it's their life anyway. If they want to waste time, opportunities, and other things, it's none of our business. Besides, maybe they enjoy their lives that way. I bet they don't have much responsibilities yet because if they do, they won't act that way. Whatever their reasons for not working, we don't know. Time will come they will realize a lot of things.
Don't get pissed at them. Instead serve as an inspiration that being in the work force can be so much fun despite the stress.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
20 Sep 12
I assume if you don't need the money, you don't need to take care of yourself the need to find a job is less. Also there are plenty of people who do look for a job (overhere it's common to do it by the internet so no personal visits or letters anymore). There are also plenty of people who studied for years and will never get a job simply because they are way too expensive. I know plenty of people who don't find a job because of the last reason. If you really think anyone would hire you overhere for cleaning floors if you are high educated you are wrong. BTW there are also plenty of people who have problems at work, lots of stress, it's easy to say the one you know is the trouble maker but it's not always like we think it is. Also it's not easy for everybody to change or not to give up. Not to loose all hope, which happens to many people. In these times of bad economics in big parts of the world it's better to learn how to keep yourself active, to do things you like. It might piss you off that there are people who only have to ask their dad for money, but fact is this is reality. Also fact is there are way more people who do have this "easy" life and don't need to work at all. There is nothing you can do about it. If you don't like them don't be friends with them.
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
Yes, I agree that it's reality. I'd understand if those two people I mentioned are children of business tycoons but actually, they come from middle class families. Both of their parents still work as employees/ professionals. They could have their own trust funds or something like that, but even these could run out, if a person wouldn't know how to use them properly. If they're going to have their own families, that is if they would want to, how will they support their own and what would they teach them.
By the way, as I mentioned, they're not so close friends/acquaintances only. We have common friends. I get to see them and be with them because my friends invite them when we go out.
Thanks for your very honest response. I appreciate it.
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
20 Sep 12
The initiative to get a job really depends on the person, their situation and their needs. As for me, I'm in my mid 30's. I still look for the stability of my career, do some update trainings and refresher to better prepare me for the future. What I do now is sork, earn, and save for my retirement and other incidentals. Really, life is too short to be wasted to something like that. Thanks
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
At least for you, you look for ways to improve yourself and you think about your future instead of just hanging around the house not doing anything, or even planning to do anything. It's good to hear that you know what you want and what kind of future you want to have. Keep it up and good luck!!!
@roshigo58 (4859)
• Pune, India
29 Sep 12
Hi,
It is not good to be dependent on parents. Both your friends seem lazy and happy with situation they have. They like to be dependent on parents. I know finding job is not an easy. But they should try for it till the end. But they are very lazy. I hate such people who are not self dependent. We can see around us, some disabled people are also working and earn money. They always feel shameful for depending on others.
