Sharing our burdens.

hi dear Pose, it depends. Sometimes I felt guilty or selfish when doing that but then again I thought I share them with someone I can really trust, who wont make fun of me and wont leak it out to others. And of course I hope there comes a time when I can do something similar for these who have stood by me and encouraged me in my not so great times in life.

Having someone to listen to you when you need to unload some emotions may not actually make things better but it can make you feel better.

I agree. MY son is going through a divorce...he used to call over and over again but he needed it....but what I got out of it was a big thank you....a big one! For being there for him. So the rewards of listening are many...my sister and I dump on each other.....we are equally willing to listen to the other ones problems..even trival ones.

Not only is it helpfull to unload, but getting another point of view may be life changing. I have aaaaafound that mylot helps in this manner. Blessings

It does help to share but I am not one that is good at that. I am more of the listener kind. I know that we all need to unload sometimes but I tend to carry things farther than I guess I should. If I do..it is to a very choice few and it is far between my sessions..lol. My friends know that they can talk to me though and that is where it will stay.

Hi friend, you are right, we can share our enjoyment as well as burdens with our good friends, while sharing our happiness it will become double and while sharing our sorrows it will reduced to half. There is nothing wrong in sharing our issues with our friends.

Yes I feel incredibly guilty when I often offload onto my friend, she is 16 years my junior and sometimes I have actually to hold back remembering her age and the kind of stuff I am offloading onto her, some stuff even she is too young to understand, I am 41, she is 25 and she is not worldly and that experienced, and yet she is a wonderful listening and attentive too, and yet the more she understands and takes it in the more I feel guilty. I have known her 9 years we met at college and yet she is the only 'real' offline friend I have, because I keep myself to myself and spend most of my time as a loner, apart from my therapist and offloading here on Mylot. But I have to keep asking her if anytime she needs to offload onto me I am there for her, and sometimes I have to wheedle it out of her as though she doesn't want to confide in me. I wish it was a two way thing, I just want her to know that I am as good as a listener as I am an offloader.

Perhaps! For others maybe, but not for me! Grief for me is what I feel after I have hit my finger with a hammer. I would be sorry that I was so incautious. I have never thought I could share my pain with anyone else, in fact to do so would only add guilt to my pain. I have no special friends so I have never experienced anyone coming to me with their grief and pain, but if someone did, I would never share their grief and pain, but would try my best to help them past their problems.

At one time, I had a couple of friends that I could share problems with. As time has moved on, so have the friends. I mainly just keep to myself now days. But, really, I don't have actual burdensome problems. I can just look around and see others who are much worse off than I am.

I agree. I feel better after just telling someone. Getting the pain out with voice, soul and tears often makes the load a bit lighter.

even though i like the company of friends, i don't like to share any of my burdens with them. I don't know why, i am very introvert and like to keep things for myself. my friends know me only as a soft and calm going girl and nothing else. Its not that ,i am acting with them, no no. But don't like to share my pain with friends. I agree if we share we feel light and happy. Well for that , i go to my mother , she is the one in the world with whom i can share all my pain and no one else.

I agree, I like unloading off my burdens and pain to a very good friend. Sometimes, that's all I need, someone who will listen to me more than the actual advises which I will receive. The feeling that someone is there for me to support me, and I am not alone in dealing with this.

The way a person feels inside is important. It can be really hard not to tell anyone that you're feeling sad, worried, or upset. Then, it's just you and these bad feelings. If you keep feelings locked inside, it can even make you feel sick! If the person doesn't understand what you mean right away, try explaining it a different way orgive an example of what's concerning you. It can really ease your burden to be able to share your pain with them, even though they can't help you in direct way after all it can help you to feel better.

I can not believe you Pose! I have not been back on myLot for a few years and you still have the best discussions! My door is always open to my friends (and almost everybody) who needs an ear. Fortunately, as before, I have few problems and the ones that I do have are usually self induced so the only person I can really unload on is me!

Not at all, because sooner or later my friend is going to "return the favour" and I'll be as willing to be there listening to my friend, as my friend has been willing to sit there and listen to me.

It surely lightens the burden when you are able to voice out your pain. But also, I think I felt guilty once coz I have kept on telling my friend my problem, which I didn't know how I could get out from. And everytime she would be telling the same advice, but still I could not do what she tells. So one time, even if I was itching to call her coz I wanted to talk to somebody, I just stopped myself from telling he about my problems. I don't want to disturb her with my problems. But if she asks if I was alright and would notice that something is bothering me, well, I have no choice but to tell her.