When kindness can be misguided...or really?
By Nnaemeka
@mydanods (6513)
Nigeria
October 2, 2012 7:56pm CST
A friend was attacked by armed men some time ago. They held a gun to his head; that had caused him some trauma. He kept talking about it. I realized that the more he talked about the gun held to his head, the more he kept exaggerating the real threat. I thought what he needed was a listening, caring ear. I believe now that giving him a listening ear must have fueled such fears and exaggerated threat rather than reduce it.
I think my action was wrong. I should rather have brought him to earth, to face reality - given him a good slap to the face that he deserves and put him to bed, to release him from his shock. I'll never do that again, give a listening ear to a man in such a situation.
I think my kindness was misguided. Just an intuition, a gut feeling.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@coolimrose (539)
• New Zealand
3 Oct 12
NO.What you did was best that you could do.You tried to help him but could not the way a councilor xcan .Get him in touch with a pro and he will be fine.And yes two people crying is never going to make the place a happy world.So yes be upfront and show him the brighter side because bnad is there in the world.
@natnickeep (2336)
• United States
3 Oct 12
I have done similar in a few situations. Sometimes we act in a way we think would help us and everyone is different. Sometimes people don't react the way we expect. Your intentions were good and that is all that really matters. His exaggerations may of gotten annoying but it was a good person of you to listen. It may after all of been what he needed. He would eventually get tired of hearing himself tell the same old story too.
@mydanods (6513)
• Nigeria
3 Oct 12
yeah, gotten annoying that his friends were bothered. I think that was what he needed. But what if by talking with him, I keep imprinting the memory on him, rather than change it for something else? I should have done something that would take his mind away from the event, like go out for a walk and discuss something else like football, some biz we wanted to arrange and not discuss that! Thanks natnickeep.
