I'm not good enough!!!
By Cody Stewart
@CODYMAC (1356)
San Diego, California
October 9, 2012 6:17pm CST
Hello, my myLot friends. I have a friend who is always looking at herself in a VERY negative way. I have known her since she was 5 years old and now she has children of her own. Being 25 and raising 3 children is hard. I can understand. But what I dont get is why she continually talks this way about herself.
Her life has been a little different now that a military guy has come into her life. A little more stable and better in a number of ways.
But what in the world is with this cutting herself down junk that she does all of the time. I have asked her about it, but she replied, the truth is the truth. I do not see her that way. She is a very smart, and loving person, friend, and woman and I know that she knows this. There must be something else behind this.
Any thoughts as to why she is doing this? Thanks to all...
1 person likes this
8 responses
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
20 Jan 13
I don't like to be with those people who are negative on their looks of life. We should think positive whatever we do give us courage and strength to reach a certain goal. If we are always negative, the results could be either positive nor negative.
I always keep myself away from negative individuals. But because he is your friend, no choice for your except to support her.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
27 Mar 13
Neither do I like to be around those who are negative. But life is full of negative.
I hope that she just understands that life is hard and smile as you go through it. It is better that way.
Thanks for the response, and have a great day...
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
10 Oct 12
It is really hard to say as it could be her just being her own worst enemy, wanting attention, she could have suffered some abuse as a child or teenager, or maybe she has some kind of form of depression. I know it is really hard to see someone that you care about talk about themselves that way, and for that I am sorry!
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Oct 12
Well I know that she was not abused, rather neglected as a child. Her father was at work so much he would come home and eat then sleep.
Her mother just let her run around with her friends all day.
She may be wanting attention because she always looked for it when she was younger. Now she is older and it might be just that.
Thanks for this insight...
1 person likes this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
15 Oct 12
Your most welcome! My advice would be to just keep being there for her as a good friend!
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
10 Oct 12
It makes me wonder what sort of childhood she had. We never know what goes on behind closed doors as they say, and a lot of critical talking toward and about her while she was growing up, called verbal abuse, would stay with her perhaps all of her life.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Oct 12
Well I know her parents very well and they were distant. She was mostly raised by neighbors. Her father worked to get away from the home and not so much to pay the bills. Her mother is a stay at home mom.
She also was a troubled youth. Run away, and spent much time in juvenile detention. And got pregnant at 16. But now, she is settled, and is raising those three children well.
She is over that "bad" girl attitude. I have noticed that over the last 4 years she has really grown up.
@JAYMAR777 (840)
• Philippines
10 Oct 12
Maybe the way she was brought am is the reason why she thinks and how she thinks. Most of the time if not all of the time, the first place to learn both good or bad is usually the home (there maybe few exemptions).
A good word constantly heard can be an antidote for such a way of self perception. May be my friend you can be the key to that. I think she's still young to undo things and reverse these negative traits and paradigm..
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
10 Oct 12
You are correct, JAYMAR777. It really should be me to help her in any way I can. It is like that with anything. Thank you for this advice my friend.
I will be there to help her, and lend an ear, or a helping hand. I have been there as a friend to her, and older brother for so long, I know her parents and I think they did a pretty good job of raising her.
Thanks again.
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
10 Oct 12
That is great to hear! Keep being there for her, being a friend, and maybe in time it will pass and get easier for her. The more she hears positives about herself, the better the chances of her changing with the negative attitude possibly.
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
10 Oct 12
I feel someone is making her feel that way, yes being so young with that much children must be really stressing on her . She feel insecure a lot of woman go through that when they have a bad life it continue to play on their emotion .
What may be causing it is someone letting her feel small and she maybe feel to bad to tell you the truth . I have come across a lot of people online that feel the same way she does . Continue to be a good friend to her because she may really need you to continue to believe in her until she can believe in her self.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Oct 12
Well, you may be right, silverfox09.
Yet, I know that her military boy friend is a pretty good guy.
Maybe she has low self-esteem? I do not know for sure, but this is not the first time she said things like this.
I have been critical against some of her remarks on Facebook, and I may need to tone it down and do a better job of being a friend.
Thanks for the response.
@axlrate7 (1398)
• Philippines
10 Oct 12
I think when someone said that "I'm not good enough" or something like that, he/she only need a trigger. I think your friend need something or someone that can show more of her potential and beauty. She lacks to see everything about herself, maybe she's aware in some angle and aspects but she never believe in the great things that she have, the negative thing that she's always talking about herself is the hell that consume her until she never change it. Help her to understand and to see more about her true ability, like what you said above, you're one of the witnesses, you need to testify and prove to her that she's wonderful and great. God Bless you :-)
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Oct 12
Great post axlrate7. Thanks for this. You see I think that you are correct and I will help her see her true beauty.
I have been far too critical of her "outbursts" that I forget to see that she just may need an ear. A shoulder to lean on.
Thank you for this.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
10 Oct 12
I have a friend who is 21 years old and is just completing a Master's degree in maths. He is doing so because he didn't think that he was going to be good enough to get a job if he finished after his degree. He is one of the cleverest people that I know, so I don't really understand why he doesn't feel as though he could get the same types of jobs that his course friends have been able to get. One of the things that I tell him is that if he doesn't believe that he is good enough then nobody else is going to stand up for him so he has to learn to love himself.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Oct 12
You are right, GemmaR.
We do have to accept ourselves and learn how to just get along in life. Sometimes for me it is tough...
@Shavkat (140118)
• Philippines
10 Oct 12
She might be in depression or there is something really bothers her. What do you think?
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Oct 12
Well I really do not know.
I have tried to talk to her about what is wrong and she continues to give me the same response.
It is always, " It is just how it is." I ask her what that means and she never answers me.
