Some people are USERs!!
@chubbychubchub (90)
Philippines
October 21, 2012 3:59am CST
I hate it when people only remember me whenever they need something from me.
and worst they act very demanding giving me deadlines even though they're not paying me. they will never stop nagging me whenever i don't priorities there request.
and they promised to be my friends but i never see it from them, they don't even ask me how am i? or am i still breathing and they always forget me whenever they are happy and only remember me when they need something, or when have a problems.
Im so tired of them. but i can't let them down.
I don't know how to say NO cause i'm afraid that i will hurt them.
2 people like this
15 responses
@IntrovertShy (2780)
• Marikina, Philippines
7 Nov 12
The truth will set you free.
Again.
The truth will set you free.
Don't lie to yourself or your the one who end up suffer too much.
Really.
Its better to think others as long as they think about you too.
Talk to them in a nice way.
Don't let your fear be your hindrance for your happiness
@mzz663 (2772)
• United States
2 Nov 12
You need to start saying "NO" You are tired of them with all of their problems, I bet you listen to their problems too. You are too kind hearted and learn to say no. You're afraid that you will hurt them but it seems like they have no problem hurting you. I think you should find some friends that aren't so needy and start asking for your money lent out, paid back!
By the way......How are you????
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
23 Oct 12
Sometime we need to learn how to say no. Because if we can't do that...no other parties to be hurt in the future but us.
You said they only good for you if they have something to ask you. So, this is a matter to decide on your part for not being abuse as they wish for.
Don't think how they feel about but think how much you suffer in the end...Life is matter of give and take
@gaiza12 (4884)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
When you've had enough of those nagging and demanding people, say it out loud once and you had enough. The thing they're doing to you is not good and you are not happy with it so be frank to them and tell them how you really feel. It's not always them that should be happy, you should feel happy as well with what you are doing. You can do it!
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
21 Oct 12
Hi chubby, I don't want to sound heartless because I am
far from it....I am a giver in all aspects of life...
But there are many people who are users in this world
and even when people pretend to be your friends we need
to be careful,,,and once we find them to be users we need to
delete them from our lives..
You have to realize that they are hurting you so in order
to spare your feelings just delete them from your life..
You see once you stop giving them they will just move on
to someone else...and you should not care because they are
not your friend...
Get a back bone and spare yourself more pain....
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
22 Oct 12
Hi chubbychubchub,
i guess the mere fact that some of your so called "Friends" remember you only when they needed you is enough for you to realize that those are not your true friends. As far as i believed that true friends are there for you even in your saddest day, who would say hello to you even if there are no reasons at all. i guess that's your queue to not to mingle with them anymore and don't be afraid if from time to time you will say "no" to them, i mean they're not your lost, it's theirs. So yeah, i agree that some people are USER, they only befriended you because they need something from you and that's the only thing they care about and you have the choice wether to mingle with them or not.
Hope you'll have the right decision,
Happy Mylotting!
@homeshoppers (6166)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
That is true as i experience that too. Though at least we know their true colors and intentions so for me i must start leaving them behind.
@Cutie18f (9546)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
So what sort of service or help are you giving them? Then it is time that you professionalize it and start charging those who go to you for such help. You might as well make money from it. My friends know that business is business, but I give special discounts to friends. You don't have to be a slave to this friend of yours. Start asking for a service fee.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
We live in an imperfect world and no matter how good we become, still there will be people who will take advantage of us. I don't know how these people could sleep at night when they know that they are abusing other people's generosity and hospitality.
@subhojit10 (7375)
• India
21 Oct 12
Thanks a ton for posting this discussion. Well yes u are absolutely right, this is very annoying to see how they use people whenever they feel that they want them and after everything is done they leave them unsaid. This is a cheap act and in a way they are hurting others feelings and emotions. also we may loose out that connection bonding and relationship with them. They should realize this thing instead.
What say?
@Raine38 (12391)
• United States
21 Oct 12
My mom always tells me that there will be no users if people will not let themselves be used. I find it to be true, sometimes we bring this on to ourselves by letting people take advantage of us. Once is enough, it cannot be fully accounted to us because we trusted someone and took his/her words in good faith. But should the same person try to pull the same stunt against us, and we let him/her, then it will be our fault.
We always have a choice, we can always say no, but I do understand that sometimes, friendship, relations and even debt of gratitude prevents us from doing the right thing. But remember that nobody will treat you fairly if you wouldn't be fair to yourself in the first place.
I know it can be hard to say no, but once you stand for yourself and gave a firm no, it will either alienate those "users" from you or they will still stick around for you.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
21 Oct 12
Many friends are not really friends. They use us when ever they need something. I have a few who are the same. They call when they need something copied for free in my internet cafe or need money. These arent really friends. They are users. Just like yours.
@estremms (324)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
You have to say no to stop hurting yourself. Don't be afraid if you hurt them, think of yourself first and what this situation is doing to your self-esteem. If in the end you end up without these people then so be it. You're the one who said you can never see them being friends to you or remember asking you how are you then why are you hesitating saying no to their requests and be scared of letting them down?
@ardoy0731 (7308)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
Better try to give them their own dose of medicine.
Friendship is a give and take relationship, mutual relationship wherein we should not abused.We really have take of friendship.
There are lost of people or friends who used to be a users.Those people who just wanted to received and don't wanted to give.Friends for benefits.
They maybe got hurt when we tell the truth to them but this is where they would learn and realized that they have to change for the better.