How we hate it when we are being judged but go on judging others unforgivingly!

Thank you, deriellevc73. You're so kind. I agree to all that you said. It is none of our business anymore whatever others might want to do with their lives because that's theirs and we have ours to focus on and be concerned about. By judging them or meddling with another's life, we don't improve ourselves. We make ourselves worse, rather; because the act of judging is in itself wrong. And, we become blinded to our own flaws because we are too engrossed watching others make more and more mistakes. Doesn't benefit anyone, at all. What a filthy habit. The Bible warns us not to be self-righteous nor be conceited and consider others better than ourselves. Judging others should never be a habit in our lives. See you around.

I do have that same principle and conviction, MiaFerrari. Though, I won't say that I don't have the nature of having judgment in my head. There are, of course, times when my mind just goes before me. But, I see to it that it doesn't affect my behavior and treatment toward anyone. And, definitely, I tame my tongue. A lotta people open up to me about their darkest pasts and if I am to compare their mistakes and decisions to mine, I would really qualify as a saint. But, like what you said, who is really in the position to judge anyone? Who has the guts to cast the first stone because s/he has no sin? Makes a lotta sense to ask these questions, firstly. And, I believe, this is my same reason why I with hold myself from placing judgment on anyone. I am aware of my own demons and it makes me humble enough not to judge others. Another way I deal with myself is, I try to place myself in the person's sitch and think about how I would react to the problem. When I was in grade school and high school, I kept hearing other girls talking about another girl being flirt and all...esp those who got pregnant in their teens. There's something in me that stops me from participating in that kind of activity because I have no idea how I will behave if I were in their same shoes. Just so happened I didn't have a boyfriend and the case with that girl is opposite mine. That's all. But, what if I had a boyfriend that age? Could I have kept my virginity and purity? It's too self-righteous for me to conclude, I would. I'd be too conceited to say that. Appreciate your comment, mia. ^_^

Right, as in RIDICULOUS, INSANE, NONSENSE. We are all different and we have to respect each other's uniqueness. If a person is vain, and another is poorly groomed or even smelly... it's not for us to judge PERIOD. Thanks for your comment, canellita.

I have to admit, if I knew the person who was poorly groomed and smelly I might take them aside and make them aware of the impression they were making on others by their disheveled appearance. Sometimes people are unaware and sometimes they just don't care.

Good thinking there. I like the way you try to broaden your viewpoint. Well, to answer your question which is more dangerous... judging by labeling a person in your mind OR judging by spreading nasty talks about a person... I believe both are. Labeling other people in our mind without correcting ourselves isn't healthy and will never foster relationships. We usually treat people with prejudice because they're not like us or they do not have the same value, conviction or whatever. And, we tend to just stay away from them. We become biased with their opinion. We practically become hostile to them firstly within us then will later reflect in our behavior toward them, which is harmful to them because we hurt them emotionally. Everything starts with thoughts anyways. Then, they become actions...like what the famous quote says. So, as soon as we start labeling/judging people in our minds, we must tell ourselves, we don't even have basis enough. Possible, they may have shown us something to warrant the judgment we give them or the person who said something not nice about them is credible...but, still, we don't truly know. Only a part of the entire picture is what we know...is what we can see...NOT the entirety. Gossiping because we have judged someone is also harmful and very dangerous because we damage reputation. It's like killing a person slowly. Like a torture. A very hostile way to treat another human being. We do not have the right to put another person down esp we don't know them. Esp when they didn't do us any harm. Or, even if they did, vengeance is God's NOT man's. It is safer to be right with God than to avenge ourselves. It's harmful and dangerous because we cause other people to hate another who they don't even personally or deeply know. We cause hostility, animosity...We damage not only the person we hate but also the people who do not hate and made to hate. I used to be like you. I rather not socialize in order not to get the bad habits of many like gossiping and talking about another person behind his/her back. That's something I really can't take and I don't want to involve myself in. Of course, who's not susceptible to it, right? And I can't be self-righteous to think that I will never do the same. Although, most of the time, I gave comfort to the one being attacked. I realized later on that avoiding people and situations won't be of any help to my growth as an individual. We are born social beings. And we are all called to be united with each other. The Bible tells us that there are only two commandments which are: LOVE GOD and LOVE OTHERS. I won't be able to fulfill the second commandment if I will continue to keep walking away from them. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Appreciate it a lot.

There's a proper way to address our concerns about another person and this doesn't have to be talking behind their back. We can confront them gently and tell them what they did which offended us, in stead of sulking in one corner and mull over the offense and how bad the person is for doing it to us. It's undeniable that there are really people who have bad attitudes and this and that. There are people worthy of judgment (at least in the world's viewpoint). But, truth is, none of us has the right to judge because it is only God Who has that sole right because it is HIM who created us. Judging another person is insulting to HIM who formed every person in this world -- black or white, short or tall, fat or thin, good or bad. If we want to release whatever ill feelings we have toward someone because some harm was done to us, then, there's no other way to do it but to communicate. That's what communication is for. Talking resolves many problems (although, sometimes it doesn't).

Some people cannot be confronted because they react badly to confrontations. I am talking from experience here. Yes only God is allowed to judge, but we are all sinners here on earth. It is easily said than done, we try it works the first time, then the second time we tumble again, the third time we manage to the right thing again. God is a forgiving God and will always forgive us, but we need to show him that we are trying as hard as we can and not play around when it comes to doing the right thing. nobody is perfect at all.

Yeah, live and let live. Care not so much how others wanna live their lives and give them their freedom to do whatever they wish. Besides, so what if they do whatever crazy thing they are doing? What is it to us? We're not even a bit affected! Nice, thoughts, sindelle.

I had answer this same idea a few times already through the comments of people who posted before you, Asylum. Please, if you have time, just browse the discussions. But, I so appreciate your thoughts. My style is like yours. I don't really allow myself to judge people. And, like I mentioned, there's a righteous way to judge...which is to judge actions not persons. Because people only react to situations out of fear...out of whatever reason they might have but definitely, there's something that will justify their deeds. Also, if someone's doing something habitually, then, I believe that person's worthy of the judgment. Because that's already self-inflicted. If s/he has to suffer, it's because s/he chose it.

Hi... Yes, I agree with you dear... I was just trying to explain how human nature works... It's been taught for centuries not to judge, and yet human mind tends to fall for it... Yes, as you say and I agree, we always have a 'choice'. We should be careful... Personally, I'm going to be more careful, in future... I'd not judge anyone, unless it is called for officially e.g. In office... On a personal basis, I'll always refrain from passing judgements....

Hi, mr_pearl. I do agree that it's human nature and it's hard to just change it by merely repeating the rule. But, I don't think accepting something as natural and not try to change it is anything good or helpful. I mean, well, it's natural to feel the call of nature but we can't just do it anywhere but in proper places, right? It involves "control". We may have the inclination, tendency, propensity...whatever it should be called but, there's such a thing as "choice". We must not stop educating in order that people will make better choices. My two cents on your comment. Thanks, btw.

It's true that it's almost inevitable that we judge people as instantly because our mind works all the time. We are all exposed to an environment where we are challenged to have opinion about everything or you're judged to be dumb. So, we get used to it until it becomes a part of us. But, that's why we are given the Word, we are given examples, we are placed in situations where we learn that we shouldn't do a certain thing. Not really to teach us but to remind us or to correct the way we think. Like the idea of it being our nature. Well, if we go back to history, it's human nature to be barbaric and all. But, we evolved. We shouldn't go back being the barbaric nature, in stead, we are to become more and more graceful and proper and refined as we keep evolving. Otherwise, what is education for? Thanks for your thoughts, gemmar.

Thanks for that, heartRob. Yes, it is the Golden Rule, which happens to be also Biblical.

Hi, doroffee. I think that example you gave really calls for discernment or proper judgment. Truly, you can't just give your trust to just anyone. Esp, being a girl, we have to be very cautious to whom we give our trust to. My topic doesn't include that. And I would say that being careful and being judgmental are still two different things but can be both abused and misused. Takes a lotta wisdom to be able to apply proper judgment for safety's sake. Thanks for your comment. ^_^

You're right, we may have personal judgments in our mind about a person or persons but we need not let it influence our behavior towards the person. And, with all our might, we should not allow these judgments be our basis in telling what kind of a person s/he is. We have to always give people the benefit of the doubt. At some point in our lives, we'll also make silly decisions and we don't want people judging us for being silly ones. This is my stand.

Very well said, 41CombedaleRoad! I, too, had moments wherein I participated in hasty judgment due to peer pressure. I wanted to be in, but deep down, I hurt myself because I hurt God Who created the persons I judged. And, I did that only because I wanted to belong, which is totally ridiculous! I was always corrected immediately, y'know, which only proved that God doesn't want anyone to do this kind of act because we are all HIS creations. We are to appreciate all that HE has made without grumbling and whining. So, no matter how difficult it is to get along with someone, we are not to judge, or say anything not nice because it's like we're insulting God. It is, in fact, mocking Him. Thanks for your insight. ^_^

I couldn't agree more, Angelpink. Thanks.

Thank you for your comment, edvc77. It's true that we're not supposed to be too quick to judge because just like everyone, we're also flawed. So many imperfections and mistakes. We may do the same as they did if placed in the same situation.