Reflection: I guess i should forgive...

hi, its really hard to forgive someone when they really hurt us very deep,and it will always depend upon the situation and also to the person if she/he is ready to forgive,yes we should forgive anyone but it will takes time to forgive them.

Only love can cover everything,nothing is perfect.

I don't know what he has done to you that cause you pain. But forgiving takes time. It should come from your heart and free your self from the grudges. I am in no position no advice anything but let me share you this. My husband and I went through a terrible situations almost three years ago. I won't go into details. I am in so much pain but I forgive him because I love him. I give him another opportunity and I learn to trust him again. Trusting again after forgiving is very hard. But both of us are determined not to give up so we ask for God's guidance and He never failed us. Pray and pray, and let God guide you. I hope you will feel better soon.

for sure it is the right time and you must forgive and just keep moving on which will make you both happy

hi there... do not guess so to forgive him but do forgive him because the more you hurt him is the more you will get hurt too. so learn to forgive then forget. give him a chance, maybe he is true to his words and will not hurt you no more. do not be worried of the things that is not yet unseen. i mean, face the problem when you have it that kind again. afterall, what is being bound by God as one can never be separated by anyone and that in church you all swear that you will stick together through thick and thin.. so please for you to stop suffering as well, do not seek for vengeance but rather seek a space in your heart for forgiveness. :) go go go

I think you have to look into your heart and see if you are able to forgive him. I've known a few who make the decision to forgive someone but really don't. For example this man I know cheated on his wife. He wife forgave him and they stayed together but she holds it against him, brings it up all the time, and clearly does not trust him. She doesn't even let him leave the house unaccompanied. That being said do you feel like you can trust him again? If you look deep in your heart can you truly forgive him? Or will this always be thinking about what he did and how much he hurt you? I know you're angry and I can't say I blame you. I'd be very upset too however what good would punishing him do? Maybe instead or wishing further suffering demand he make it up to you? You're in the position in power here. If he really wishes for you to forgive him work for it. Love is a wonderful feeling but unfortunately relationships require us to take chances and often we get hurt. Also another thing to consider is that if divorce is out of the question then perhaps thats all the more reason to try to forgive him. After all you will be living with him for the rest of your life. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Time heals all wounds. I hope things get better.

While I don't agree that you should be out to torture him, I also understand that forgiveness has to come naturally and does not magically make the problem go away. You did not state what exactly it was that your husband did but it sounds serious enough that it compromised your love. Forgiving might make you feel less angry if it comes from the heart but does not mean that love and trust will return to what it was before.

I don't think that forgiveness is something that you can put a time limit on. If you say that you have forgiven him but this turns out not to be the case in your own mind then it will cause more problems for you when he realises that actually you didn't mean the things that you said at all. If you don't think that you can forgive him then you should talk to him and tell him why. There is nothing to say that you HAVE to forgive somebody, and literally the only thing that is standing in your way is the fact that you feel as though you should be able to forgive.

To err is human to forgive is Divine. If you forgive him you will be able to move past this point. He is human and humans make mistakes. You can forgive him one time but if it happens again then you should leave. Let him be sorry for his mistake and let him know that it should never happen again and if it does you will have no choice but to leave no matter what.

Magz: I do not know what your husband is seeking your forgiveness for, but it seems to me that if you love him and want your marriage to work, you simply must forgive him. I am sure that you have done some things that he has had difficulty in understanding and has felt hurt by. I think you should flip things around and consider things from his point of view. Imagine that you were the one who committed the transgression toward him. How would you wish to be treated? Would you not want to be forgiven and be given an opportunity to make amends? It is natural to be concerned that you might be hurt again, but there is also an equal chance that your relationship with your husband will grow stronger from this incident. Bottom line, search your soul and treat him as you would like to be treated.

Forgiveness doesn't guarantee that the pain you're feeling now will lessen. Nobody should rush anybody regarding forgiveness. People around you should understand that you have to be alone first and cry all your pain out before making a decision about your husband.

if you cannot find the love you have given before and are afraid of be hurt again... it is realy hurt to decide. but still he is your husband. they say time can heal wounds, heartaches, evrything... how painfull he had done to you maybe weeks cant heal it. but if someday you'l find out to yourself it would be easy for you to face him without anyones telling you, that is the time you can give your forgiveness. always remember if his a human, he can do mistakes again and again as so you do. but not to the extent of beyond unfaitfullness. ask yourself, is he worthy for a second chance? good luck to you and God bless you!