He cheats all the time

Kick your friend out! Might sound hard but this is probably the only way to open her eyes. She is not willing to change anyting in her situation otherwise she would have done that a long time ago. Sounds to me she is happy with or not stabbed in her back hard enough. She is a free person so she can stay if she likes. But if so she should NOT complain about her misery to others. This is her life, her husband, her choice! She is the one who accepts this behaviour and she is also the one who knows by now he will never change. There are no consequences for him since he probably is happy is she is taking meds, less complaining, goes to mental hospital. Plus the fact she gained weight is another good reason for him to cheat on her. That she is on her way to self-destruction is her own choice as well. She should known better, should have know a long time ago what to do and who her real friends are. She did not learn her lesson until now. So let her destruct herself. That husband and bad marriage is still way more important to her as you as a good friend or a life or her own. Sorry no mercy, no pity feelings for her. In 20 years time you have had enough opportunities to escape, to make plans, to save, to build a life of your own. Might be there was a moment she was afraid to start all over again, afraid of new things but that is why you have friends. Now she is only breaking her friends as well. It did not work to feel compassion or mercy or pity with her so the only thing left over is to kick her out!

Hi Dee, It's really hard..a really hard situation for you since you are just there to comfort and give an advice to your friend but you can never do anything unless his husband will do what is really right for their relationship. It's sad that there are relationships who would tend to end that way even though they were together for such a long time already. I think the best you can do is to pray for your friend and give her more comfort. Happy Holidays!

If u want to be a good friend find her a therapist to help her deal with what she's going thru. Don't say here is this shrink go to him/her and talk with this person; just find a shrink write the info on a piece of paper and the next to e she comes to lay it all on u, instead of inviting her in to talk walk with her or drive her to this therapist. Wait a few minutes after she goes inside and then leave. That might be ur best thing u can do for her. That's what I'd do if my friend was in that kind of situation. If that doesn't help then u should let her know somehow that she's making u feel the way she feels just by listening to her. That may not be her intent but she is doing it nevertheless.

I know someone who also seemed cheating his partner all the time. I have known that before he dated my friend he already have a family with five kids, but he told my friend that he was single and so they got married. She did not find it out until she was pregnant with her first child. It was a shock of her life but there is nothing she can do co's the man won't leave her but insisted that they live together even it was an "against all odds" kind of relationship. But he seems continue on doing such thing until the recent time even his already old and a senior already. So annoying... some people said try to understand but... I just don't get it!

I feel it's better to stay away from him, otherwise her life will be risky because of the damage caused by her husband, I don't understand why these people always cheats life partner, they must be punished, I feel sorry to your friend for her condition because of her husband, I hope she will have good days.

pacify her . Take her to shopping or spa this will atleast make her happy for some time. Make a sting operation of her husband like "emotional attyachar" keep the video private and later show it to your friend's husband. He will feel guilty of his mistake and might be he may improve

The best thing would be for your friend to calm down and not take any tension about her husbands cheating. She can tell him the consequences of cheating like he might be caught by the police or he might be beaten up from some angry person. If he still does not change the best option would be to leave him alone for sometime till he realizes his mistake. When she leaves him she should go home and pray for his transformation so that he will leave his bad habits and both your friend and her husband can live happily again.

Nothing. You may actually be enabling it. Obviously this isn't your intent, but as long as she has a shoulder to cry on, that might be what keeps her going back. Some of us get damaged mentally and believe we're stuck with what we're stuck with. And relating that info to someone and getting understanding might just keep us stuck. I don't think there is anything you can do to help her, besides telling her that you're not the shrink. She has to realize that it's not okay, that there's no one there but her to pick up the pieces.

Nothing. A person who is unwilling to make the changes required to fix their lives, are doomed, and there is nothing you can do about it.

My only advice is for your friend to go back to her mother's home and stay until her husband wakes up. At least her mother can give motherly advice and most of all comfort. Each time her husband comes without home cooked meal it will come a time when he realises that he in fact needs her tender loving care. Or at the last resort ask your friend to seek God. When everything else fails seek God. God never fails us. God bless her and you.

On what reasons she can't leave her husband ...?? If: 1. too much love. You can't help it. It better for you to kick her off from your life so she understand what she done it stupid 2. Don't have ability to build her own living (economic reason). Teach her how to make living (do business, find jobs or something similar) 3. Afraid for children future. Tell her children all facts and possibilities

I am also at a loss of what to do if I ever had a friend like that. The things I will do for that friend... well. I try to cheer her up. Continue to support her and help her get through this. I don't see why she should do this to herself. She deserves love and the one person that really must possess that love for her, is herself. Why let a rotten husband affect her like this? I don't see the point. This is a serious case of self-pity, loss of self-respect, loss of self-esteem and loss of hope. She needs to regain all of this and get back at her husband by improving herself. She doesn't need such a husband anyway.

Sorry to say but I think there is no one who can help your friend but just herself only... What happen to her is her own predicament for she allows it to happen to her. I understand your concern for her because she is your friend and you really care but as you said, she will never leave her husband's side. Sometimes love is really unfair, but this love your friend is showing is so unhealthy for her. Me and my husband is together for 12 years, we have too many misunderstanding but one thing I am proud of is that he never cheated me ever since. He had counted of girlfriends before we met but our love to each other changed him. What I am pointing is that love is beautiful and should be the ground of fidelity. I don't know why there are people who keeps on cheating their partner. Maybe, their love is not so pure and true. As for your friend, I know how hurt she is but she must realize what should be the best for her and if her happiness is her husband then no one can take it from her. As a friend, please don't get tired of her as soon as possible God will lead her way.

As you can't force someone to help themselves, and this has been going on for a long time, I'd say just stick by her. Offer her a judgement-free, safe space to talk, and don't say "I told you so" if it happens again. Leaving an emotionally abusive relationship would be best, but people find comfort in the familiar even if it's unhealthy for them. It can be hard to start over. Just make sure she knows you have her support should she need it, and maybe with time, you can make her see that she has the power to take back control in this relationship as well as in life. Also, talking to someone who went through a similar experience and came out on the other side might be helpful.

The better way to treat depression is comfort. Don't leave your friend, in such stage because she might be loss her mind when no one will listen to her. Because it is better to exhausted from doing something than exhausted from depression. It will sway the entire body...always listen to what she say so that you can comfort her. I suffer from depression too, due to cheating and you know I lose everything in my possession and wake up in the morning my business is down and I have no money being left. Until one day I think about the future and I promise myself to establish a business again.

I know that it is hard to meddle with this kind of problem, but the only thing that I can think of is to talk to the husband and ask really what he want with his marriage. He must know what his actions has done to your friend and if she doesn't recover from her depression, she could literally die from it.

I'm sorry to hear that your friend is under such stress.That is awful. Is there anyone else that she can talk to that she trust? Perhaps she should go to counseling to help her deal with all that is going on in her life. I feel so bad for her. That all would be very stressful. I can only imagine what she is going through. I hope she is able to get some help. She needs to start thinking about herself and her health. What is good for her.

Hi Dee777 As much as it hurts you to see your friend in pain, you cannot help her make the decision about her husband. Be there for her when she cries on your shoulder. The only rule to remember is not to get affected, just listen and let her talk and you will have done your part as a friend. There are people who stay in abusive marriages and do well in the end.

It's hard to stay in a relationship with a cheating partner for a very long time. She should not allow this situation to ruin her life. If she can't take it anymore, it's better that she leave her husband and eventually love herself more and do everything she can in order to improve everything about her. Later on, she'll realized what's most important in life is the people around her who truly cares and love he no matter what.

It's a pain when you have a cheating husband. Why guys are not contended is really a mystery. Even if they married the Ms. Earth and was proclaimed the most beautiful woman on earth they still cheat. Your friend really needs to move out, she's the only one suffering whereas her husband is enjoying his life but unfortunately if something happens to the husband who is he going to run into to, of course non other than his wife. Try telling her that a lot of people are worried about her well-being and that she should not let this get in her way of living her life fully. Love is blind, I know and it's difficult to control it. If you can help her stay away from her husband be it her mother's home or her friends or maybe ask her to go somewhere where she can relax and forget the better. Find ways to distract her like what does she like to do or go, anything to get away from that good-for-nothing husband who can't seem to keep his pants up.