Marrying the whole family is being with your partner forever.

I think that traditions are a positive part of society. I can see where consulting the head of the family is very respectful.

That sounds quite cool, and good if you should need the support of the whole family, but it is a bit alien to me and I am not sure whether I would want to do that. But I guess if something is firmly rooted in a culture then each person would be quite happy and content to marry in this way. _Derek

That could be difficult if you don't get on with your partner's family, it's true what they say in life, you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family, or indeed your partner's family! I only met my partner's mother once and she was dear little lady, but I never got the chance to see her again, I never knew why.

My sons first wife was from there and they had 2 kids but after they moved to the states it got so bad they got a divorcenot sure if they consulted head of family for my son would consider himself head of family.

That would be hard for me to handle, although, I like the idea. It seems like there is less selfishness there as compared to here.

Our marriage is good it is just my husband's family has some issues that have gone on for generations.

That's sort of how I was raised. Once someone got married, their family became our family. Although we didn't actually have a tradition that stated that, we recognized that we were now all connected. In fact, it was so real in my head that I couldn't understand how the nephews of my new "uncle" who married my aunt weren't now my cousins. I was so excited to have "cousins" my age and then I was told that we weren't related, even though my aunt had just married into their family. It was very confusing for a 4-yr-old to understand.

Good day Shavkat, Indeed you are right. And I think this culture cannot be break even after so many years has gone. As this culture is one of the old traits that Filipino people has got from their ancestors long time ago.

Interesting to hear. So how does it work in reality? Even if you are married you are never free to start a live together? To do as you like? And the head of the family is always a male? BTW my granny was the head of the family, you could ask her for advice, or she gave it (unwanted) but we did it the way we liked since after all it was our life. I don't think she did mind about that.

This culture still runs to our family where the eldest brother of my father will take charge when some problems happens and all of his sibling always follows whats my uncle said. All of them are paying respect to the elder as much as possible. But in our case my family and my husband family did not interfere when we have some problems they just let us solve it on our own after all were grown adults and know what to do.

Firstly I think that the marriage is not only the combination of two people but also is the combination of two family,but I think that if it is a really big issue and will effect to others,then other little things just relate to the couple no need to consult with the two family,do you think so?

Oh no.. not here. Id never want that. I was married to man for 11 years. That was bad enough. To be married to his family oh no.....

oh yes, sometimes, during my time hehehe.. they say the first to woo or court are the parents and the siblings before the girl. Befriending them makes a good edge of the courtship and possible relationship LOL. There were times that even if the girl really doesn't like the boy, she was forced to like him because of "he is the one the family wants". Because the "family thinks he is the BEST for her". It is because the family's approval is very essential to our romantic relationships. . The family's disagreement to the lover may cause chaotic relationship until married life. (that's the belief,, am not saying that it happens all the time.

i believe marriage is not about you two only but the whole family.its okay to be part of the family as long as they respect you and your spouses boundaries otherwise many marriages are broken up due to too much meddling by the family if there are there for you when you need them fine but as long as they dont interfere and take sides with their kin then all will be well.

It's our tradition already and no one can change. It depends of the family if they will follow or reject it. But for me it's good to all, families should always been involve.

Although in my country nothing like that happens, I think that family has its say on many of the couple´s doings because family ties are very strong. Just until a couple of generations ago, unmarried women in familes were part of a household and were in charge of a lot of what was going on there. Later on, there were some days when the younger generation were supposed to go to see their parents. There are still many families here that have lunch at their parents house every single Sunday.

I think that it should always be that when you get married, you should not only think about the person that you're going to be with forever , but also take into consideration the family that he has.

hi, i will agree with you,and that is one of the culture or tradition here in our country,they said that once you marry the man or woman you should first accept his/her family,and interfering of some parents is unavoidable in couple whether newly wed or not.

I will be marrying a Filipino woman and I knew that it was going to be the whole family. Not that I mind, but now I understand how it is there. We love each other, and I love her family too. There is nothing wrong with that, and I really think that when issues arise, 10 heads are better than just two.

I think in a way this does work, but in many cases the family get's their own opinion, and get's in the middle of the situationa nd their relationship.