I come from catching my husband in a lie, we wanted to cheat me.
By dainy1313
@dainy1313 (2370)
Leon, Mexico
March 22, 2013 3:58pm CST
Hello Mylotters I have to tell you this, because I was dizzy and trembling just 30 mins ago.
My husband arrived before lunch, he ate something here, and as I had an accident a month ago, I´m working from bed with my minilaptop. He came and sit near me to watch tv. Suddently he received a phonecall, he usually speaks very loud, but this time after speaking loudly he went out of the room. It was very strange to me that I heard a woman voice asking him "aren´t you going to come?".
I tried to hear his answer but he ran out of the room and he lowered his voice while he went downstairs, and I heard nothing but the wind. Then he came to our room and left his cellphone near my hand and went to the bathroom. First I felt in peace because he left his cell near my hand. But suspiciously I took the cellphone and the cellphone was off. So immediately I suspected something was wrong.
In a hurry I turned the cell on, took the phone of the last call, and turned the cell off. He came from the bathroom told me he had forgotten to return to the office took his phone (verifying it was turned off). He took our car and drove away.
In that same minute I went down the stairs and phoned to the suspicious number. A woman answered me and then I asked for a fake name, and asked if it was my husband´s office (of course my the brand name) She denied it, and we hanged off.
Then I began trembling, my hands, my arms, my voice. I took the phone, phoned my husband and began yelling to him. I told him I found he was lying to me. I asked him to come home, or we will had serious troubles. He told me he was going to return at the minute.
At that time I took the phone and phoned this odd lady, I told whom I was and asked her to stop disturbing my husband.
Then my husband came back, very sorry and apologyzed. I put the game on the table. I gave him the chance to talk and to apologyze. He told me she was a friend of him. I know he met her 5 years ago, she is elder than him for 18 years. They didn´t lie to me at this point never, I have just seen her once, and since then my husband tells me they phone time by time, she uses to complaint with my husband about her 20 year old boy.
However I blamed my husband to try to cheat on me. She this lady is single mother, he met her in a old work some years ago. I know he helps her with the car, when her car is broken, and she helped us with an insurance paper two weeks back.
I got mad because my husband lied to me, and because she wanted my husband to go to the supermarket with her to buy some stuff for her car.
I feel sorry to have yelled to both of them, but limits had to be set.
What do you think about? I feel very ashamed for what happened but I felt like a mother bear who is defending her home.
3 people like this
15 responses
@Antionette19 (43)
• United States
22 Mar 13
I don't think you should feel bad. It sounds to me like he was covering up his visit with a lie about going to the office. One would start to wonder, if he has lied about the one visit, how many other visits has he lied about, or not bothered to tell you about? You were aware of their association before, and apparently okay with it since she was just a friend, so why all of a sudden (if all he is doing is errands for her) does there seem to be the need to "cover up"?
Pray on this, talk with the Heavenly Father, talk and listen to each other, and get with a counslor (if you think that will help). Maybe he was afraid of your reaction, so he felt the need to lie.
I'm sorry, I am not very good at giving advice, especially where relationships are concerned, but I do know that it's not the end of the world (pick and choose your battles) and do everything you can to hold on to what you have. When talking with your husband always remember "The best part of a conversation is listening".
I will keep you two in my prayers.
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
23 Mar 13
Thanks you so much dear friend for your support, I feel loved and understood.
Blessings Antionette... dainy
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
4 Apr 13
I think it's perfectly understandable that you got angry, and started yelling. I think that if that lie wasn't explained, it would be the start of the break up of trust between you and your husband.
He did something wrong, so he deserved to be yelled at.
However good a friend that lady is to your husband, he still doesn't have any responsibilities or obligations towards her, so she deserved to be yelled at.
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
19 Apr 13
Hello dear friend Bounce, I´m so happy to read you here. Thanks you for your comforting words. I was thinking about them while I was brushing my teeth. I felt peace in my heart. Thanks you!
Blessings Bounce... dainy
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
23 Mar 13
It was only your wrong perception with your husband. Sometimes, we were force to keep secrets some other things to avoid any confrontation. Maybe that was what in the mind of your husband. Woman always have a wrong vibes with there husband. They are thinking always we are looking another girl to replace them which is not true.
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
24 Mar 13
Hi friend Julyteen, yes I see. I understand it. Thanks you for your valuable point of view!
Blessings Julyteen... dainy
@topffer (42156)
• France
23 Mar 13
Hello dainy,
You have not to feel ashamed : every woman would have reacted like you after hearing another woman asking "aren't you going to come ?" Your husband should have told you the truth first, he would have avoided this domestic row. You have not to tell every minute of your life to the other in a couple, and I think that small lies are acceptable, but in this case it was normal to have an explanation with him, and to "set the limits".
1 person likes this
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
24 Mar 13
Hello dear friend Topffer thanks you so much for your kind and valuable words. I feel understood and comforted.
God bless you Topffer... dainy
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
I do think that your reaction was fine. A woman's intuition is strong. We now at the first hint what could possibly wrong, no mater how much denial we get from our husbands. At least you have let him know something.
1 person likes this
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
23 Mar 13
Yes you are right friend Jenny our "sixth sense" is awake. Thanks you so much for comforting me.
Blessings Jenny... dainy
@rajendraingale (289)
• Estado De Mexico, Mexico
25 Mar 13
hola amiga,
Well what you did being a wife was absolutely right,and nothing is wrong while protecting our family.I don't understand why didn't you told this to be before.
The one thing which you did which is good i should say that you too the number and phoned the lady and got the information,because if you hadn't ,that might have led to many thoughts in your mind where you are already going through a rough phase.Some other woman must have cried and might be she would have shared this with her family,but being a responsible housewife you did perfect.Getting things clear in front of your husband was the perfect thing you did. At least he would think of it ten times before jeopardize your relation.
Next time ,speak with him properly,make him realize that he has a family and he is a father of 3 beautiful kids.What they would think if they come to know about him and what would be the affect on their mind.trust me ,he would realize his mistake.
i hope to read soon from you and you take care of yourself.
RAj
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
26 Mar 13
Hi dear Raj, I´m very happy to read you here. Thanks you for your kind words as always. It´s true it might have led to many thoughts in my mind! Sure of course. Thanks you for your advice and for understanding me.
Blessings Raj... dainy
@GardenGerty (160879)
• United States
23 Mar 13
If it was all innocent, him helping with the car, then he should not have lied to you. If he had told you he was helping her shop for the car repairs then he should have just told you that. He better not be doing anything wrong.
1 person likes this
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
23 Mar 13
Yes dear friend GardenGerty, that´s the same that I think. Thanks you so much for writting me back. (Nice profile photo )
Blessings Garden... dainy
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Mar 13
dainy I would really want to know all about that woman and how much he has not told you and what is still going on, then I would decide what to do Do you trust him any more? I would not, I would start thinking about a divorce as its evident he is two timing you and who needs that? I would give him an ultimatum and see what he says.
1 person likes this
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
23 Mar 13
Thanks you so much dear friend for your advice, I feel loved and understood.
Blessings Hatley... dainy
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
22 Mar 13
You need to tell him that he can't be friends with this lady ever again, and that he is never to be around her.
If you find out he is, you need to disappear. Just pick up whatever stuff you need, and leave. No more talking. Time for action.
1 person likes this
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
23 Mar 13
Andy dear friend, thanks you some much for caring for me! Thanks you for your advice.
Blessings Andy... dainy
@Rick1950 (1575)
• Lima, Peru
28 May 13
Hi Dainy, you did well telling him that you found he was lying. I think this situation is very sad and disappointing for you. Now you know what is happening and you must take care and be prevented for possible surprises that are comming in the future. All best for you.
1 person likes this
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
22 Mar 13
I understand why you got in such an angry mood, that would be a huge letdown for me, too, if my husband acted secretive and planned to cheat on me. For me, cheating is immediate divorce, because I would lose my trust in somebody who treasures his own pleasure more than my feelings, if we are in a relationship.
With that being said, I really don't like people taking other people's phones and looking at them, suspicions aside, because that's private and personal, at least in my opinion. And I don't think I would have called the woman to tell him anything... it's not my job, I don't wanna seem that desperate in anyone's eyes.
1 person likes this
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
23 Mar 13
Thanks you so much dear friend for your support, I feel loved and sheltered.
Blessings Doroffee... dainy
@Raine38 (12391)
• United States
23 Mar 13
I would have the done the same to my husband and whoever that woman who will try that thing on him. I mean, if there really isn't something fishy going on, why would he feel the need to hide this from me? Why wouldn't he tell me the truth about helping her out, instead why does he need to use his work to go to her? I always tell my husband that if there is something that he lied to me about, he better have a good reason for doing so or we will have some serious problem in our marriage and it will be all because of him and his lies. (Thank goodness he remains true to his word). Do not feel guilty, you did what you have to do because you don't deserve to be lied upon. You're his wife, you should be the first to know what's going on with him. And like I said, if that is only some harmless, simple help that he gives his friend, then there's no need to cover it with a lie.
1 person likes this
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
23 Mar 13
Thanks you dear friend Raine for supporting me with your time and kind words. Thanks you.
Blessings Raine... dainy
@teotimoponcerosacena (1551)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
It is but natural nowadays. Learn to accept facts make negative to become positive for you to be a winner. If they really want you out then they can do it but take note you are always at the edge because you knew them. Life is short enjoy life they may not doing to the extreme just what you think although it may happened already but stay cool. Make life beautiful with your friends me as your friends and all of us is ready to assist you just don't be sad everything at the most unexpected time and place so be it don't get affected.
1 person likes this
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
23 Mar 13
Hi dear friend Teotimo thanks you for comforting me.
Blessings Teo... dainy
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
18 Aug 15
Oh I would not let my hubby go helping another female friend.. uh uh.. to me that is asking for trouble.. Just call me suspicious.. If he went to a female friends house without me, not good. As I would not go to visit a male friend without him. Though he did go and see his cousin's widow with his other two cousins.. I had a very bad cold, so i did not go with them. But since he did not go alone, it was okay.. I do trust them both, our sweet widow we love so much and hubby.. but, no sense allowing any temptation to be birthed or brew.. (You may know how satan is!)