Don't Call Her Fat!
By Jabo
@jaboUK (64354)
United Kingdom
January 3, 2016 5:09pm CST
A girl had a shape that was spherical
Of which her fella was critical,
When he said 'lose weight'
She got in a state,
In fact she was almost hysterical.
She was anything but philosophical
And turned to abuse that was physical,
She bit like a shark
Her teeth found their mark
On regions of him anatomical.
So why not be diplomatical
Better to be sympathetical,
If your lady is fat
Don't tell her that,
Or it could just be catastrophical.
You may think my rhymes ungrammatical,
Or even absurdly nonsensical,
But that is OK
I've brought into play
The use of the licence poetical.
Original limerick by Jabo
70 people like this
64 responses
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
4 Jan 16
Rather than just sit there and snort
She could take up some kind of sport
Sumo wrestling for instance
Or run a long distance
Even diet as a last resort
If he finds her weight entertaining
There is no point in just complaining
If he chose to use tact
It would still be a fact
That the seams of her dress are straining
21 people like this
Yes, telling a girl she is fat,
Is likely to cause a great spat,
If he makes her sob
Saying she is a slob,
It serves him right if on him she sat!
@deeraj005 (132)
• Mumbai, India
4 Jan 16
@jaboUK Lemme try!
I don't understand why people call her fat,
She's just healthy, not a thin mat,
Fat, Fat, what the hell,
It's her life, let her live well,
Call her fat, all healthies on you will be sat!
:P I dunno if I nailed it or not...
7 people like this
@sueznewz2 (10409)
• Alicante, Spain
4 Jan 16
soo funny...I love reading your poems ..., and the comments to when people use rhyme to make a comment...., like @Asylum....
5 people like this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
8 Jan 16
I made the mistake of reading this during a sneaky coffee break at my desk. My snorts of laughter didn't go unnoticed!!!
You have seriously surpassed yourself with this one. Especially the last paragraph. Really tickled me that did!!!
Mrs WorDazza's not fat,
I'm constantly telling her that,
Too much notice she takes,
Of modelling rakes,
Who look just like clothes pegs with hats.
3 people like this
@41CombedaleRoad (5952)
• Greece
4 Jan 16
Great one but bad timing - my husband called me 'chubby' yesterday and I missed the chance to bite him! Poetic licence works well which is more than I can say for my try at a limerick, so far I have not produced anything except the desire to do it.
2 people like this
@41CombedaleRoad (5952)
• Greece
5 Jan 16
...he was one who was likely to tease. And after a night of jargon going through my head here is my first limerick
When a guy tells his girl she is fat
It knocks her self confidence flat.
She should look around
'Til a new guy is found
Who loves her curvaceous like that. @jaboUK
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@41CombedaleRoad Lol - show your husband this poem - he might realise how lucky he was that you didn't retaliate like the girl here.
Keep trying with the limericks.
See if you can finish the last line:
There was a nice lady from Greece
Who was nowhere near to obese,
Her man said she was
But that was be'cos
?????????????
Keep trying with the limericks.
See if you can finish the last line:
There was a nice lady from Greece
Who was nowhere near to obese,
Her man said she was
But that was be'cos
?????????????2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
4 Jan 16
Her figure it may be quite stout
But he's off to be calling her out
His love life will suffer
He is now quite a duffer
No kisses for you she did shout
3 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
10 Jan 16
@maggs224 Thanks Maggs, I can't compete with the two of them but I like to throw in one here and there.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@BelleStarr Brilliant Isabelle - I'm so glad you have joined in this limerick-fest! Yours made me laugh, and on that note I'm going to bed - it's nearly 4.30am.
2 people like this
@maggs224 (2320)
• Alicante, Spain
10 Jan 16
@BelleStarr Nice one Belle it made me smile :D
3 people like this
@hostessman (11871)
• Tucson, Arizona
3 Jan 16
@jabo very nice and humorous. I have never been able to write any kind of poem. There are several people here and also bubblew had some that are very good at writing them.. You are one of them...
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@hostessman @marlina Thank you both, I appreciate it that you like my silly poems.
1 person likes this
@Dragonairy1 (1722)
• Newcastle Upon Tyne, England
4 Jan 16
A great very well timed poem, I suspect there's more than a few of us looking to loose a few pounds 
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (41330)
• United States
4 Jan 16
Your limerick is hilarious! These guys better watch who they're calling fat!
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@creekgirl I'm happy that it amused you, thanks. As you say, they'd better be careful
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41330)
• United States
4 Jan 16
@ivyparkgirl I think we all have things about ourselves we're not crazy about.
2 people like this
@deeraj005 (132)
• Mumbai, India
4 Jan 16
@jaboUK Yeah, be careful, all the healthies may strike at the same time.. :P
1 person likes this
@MarshaMusselman (38867)
• Midland, Michigan
6 Jan 16
I was trying to work one of your words out on my mental tongue and couldn't quite get it to come out correctly when I happened upon your line about 'grammatical' After that I quit trying.
I love how your poetry, of whatever type it happens to be, jusb about always brings out something similar from Koalemos.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Jan 16
@MarshaMusselman I missed this comment, sorry Marsha - this comment system here leaves a lot to be desired. Yes it's great when Koalemos responds 'in kind'.
1 person likes this
@MarshaMusselman (38867)
• Midland, Michigan
11 Jan 16
@jaboUK Not a problem, we have a lot to keep up with especially once they get hidden under the group that says 'show more comments'. I lose many for a bit in those locations.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@deeraj005 Now you'll have to tell us what that means
1 person likes this
@deeraj005 (132)
• Mumbai, India
4 Jan 16
As it is said in our country, "Dimag ki batti jaleli hai!"
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (50084)
• United States
4 Jan 16
Job well done. You have once more entertained us.
2 people like this
@maggs224 (2320)
• Alicante, Spain
10 Jan 16
So many comments and threads, I am going to have to learn to come early to your limericks lol...
Still if I did come too early I would miss so many incredible comments and I wouldn't want to do that. You know already what I think, you just keep on getting better :D
2 people like this
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
Haha I remember coming home from a party many years ago a bit tipsy and my wife saying to me aren't you getting fat. I said to her I may be fat but I am not ugly and then fell on the floor laughing. She never spoke to me for three days.
2 people like this
@HanVanMeegerin (1161)
• United States
4 Jan 16
@jaboUK reminds me of the song that I think was called "Logical" or The Logical Song."
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@HanVanMeegerin Sorry, you've lost me there. Haven't heard of it.
@maggs224 (2320)
• Alicante, Spain
10 Jan 16
@jaboUK I had not heard of this song Janet but I have just been and listened to it on YouTube I think you will like it
Roger Hodgson (Supertramp lead singer & songwriter) wrote this hit when he was still in his teens, before he even met Rick and co-founded Supertramp. This cl...
1 person likes this
