Putting Your Spouse Before Your Parents

A spouse should certainly come first in most circumstances but sometimes emergencies arise as parents age and then I think couples should work out a way of coping together.

But parents are still important, from where i came from, they can be your own salvation when marriage either turn sour or violent. And your support in case you get in trouble financially, or is it just my mom was just being totally generous.

On the surface it looks a right idea to put your spouse before parents. However, to me it is a matter of culture, tradition and norms prevailing the society. In India, parents expect that their married children should give them respect and should look after them along with as well as their spouse. The point is - parents give birth to a child and bring him up and help him build a career and help him get married. Should they sever all ties with their son/daughter after their marriage? In India, many couple maintain a balance between their respective spouses and parents. I also follow the tradition and try to give equal respect to my parents and my spouse. PS - I have not read the article. I've posted my comments without going through the article.

For me, it should be balance. I can treat them in equality. I don't want that both sides will be hurt because of choosing which is which.

Hi Angel. To me in my mind, there should be no need to put anybody first, just do what you can where you can. Normally parents are not so controlling as to know everything that is going on in their childrens lives with a spouse or not.

There should be room for both but certainly your spouse should come first.

To me - putting anyone before any others is all subjective. There are times when you must put your spouse before anyone else, and similarly, there are times when some others (parents, kids, even yourself or even your siblings) can be put before others. You must take the right decision at the right time.

I think that once you got married, you will already have to put your spouse first. It's what marriage is actually about. You need to stay with each others side against all odds.

Parents shouldn't make their children feel guilty for putting their spouse before them but a lot do. The bible even tells us that a spouse comes before a mother and father. Some are afraid to tell their parents that and it's really sad.

If you have a good spouse, and a good relationship with your parents, then the spouse comes first. Of course, our parents are our parents and always will be no matter what.

Yes, absolutely. My spouse comes first in my life, and if my parents don't like that I don't cater to their demands they can go kick rocks. They're crazy anyway, so I really don't care what they think.

I actually think.. if you have achieved a degree of independence from your parents before you get married... then most of Dr Laura's article is redundant. I have been living away from my parents for years now, they treat me as an adult and not a child. they wouldn't dream doing most of things mentioned in that article. So IMO, before we go and try to establish new relationships.. we should make sure our existing relationships are as good as it can be first.. then you'll have less problem to solve later on!

Yes, I agree. Spouse first.

ideally speaking, that should be the case. But there are factors that make hindrances to couple to live their own life and financial stability is the greatest factor of them all.

I agree you should put your spouse before anyone else as you have committed yourself to your spouse.

I already cut ties to my family so I won't have this problem when I get married.

I agree with you, once your married your spouse should be put first. If you married the right person though they will understand if at times it's the other way around.

Sadly I have no parents any more