Breaking News: Florida Blown To Smithereens

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The Sunshine State is dark and gloomy this day. The entire state of Florida is gone. There was a massive explosion that sent all its residents sailing into bordering states. In a separate issue, there were no frequent flyer miles awarded. The photo is a picture taken before the incident. This the back yard of Floridian resident RussTeed. It appears that this simpleton set his outdoor deep fryer approximately four feet from the propane tank shown. After landing in Georgia, a former neighbor said, “He's an idiot, he kept saying that he was going to fill the giant pot with oil all the way to the top, What a moron. He doesn't believe in buoyancy I guess. What an amazing idiot.” Reporter: Evidently he plopped his 30-pound turkey in the fryer and that was the beginning of the end. Reporting live from Georgia, this is... Wait! Someone just landed!” Reporter: “Sir, what is your name?” “My name is RussTeed, Have you seen my turkey?” Reporter: “Sir, you single-handedly destroyed an entire state. What do you have to say about that?” RussTeed: “My bad. I'm really hungry, now where is that turkey?” Reporter: “There you have it folks, the dumbest man on Earth. This is Julia-Camerazoo-Palavola-Ramos-Jesus-Barezla-Maria Jones signing off.” Photo: My cell phone