I'm considering a life of crime

@boiboing (13153)
Northampton, England
May 4, 2016 9:29am CST
My husband has been listening to a radio programme about care homes for the elderly and has just told me that he thinks it would probably be better to be in prison. He should know as he's worked for the prison service. Whilst a care home will potentially cost an absolute fortune, he's worked out that we could have free board and lodging 'at Her Majesty's Pleasure' for free. Admittedly, we'd have to go to separate prisons which might be a bit of a nuisance. Now we're trying to work out which of the many possible crimes we should consider for our economically viable money-saving scheme for our old age.
14 people like this
14 responses
@xFiacre (13014)
• Ireland
4 May 16
@boiboing I've worked out that I'm too poor to grow old. Unfortunately my body isn't listening.
4 people like this
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
4 May 16
How about throwing warm tar and feathers at Donald Trump? You could have a bucket each and throw them in turn.
2 people like this
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
4 May 16
@boiboing The biggest danger would be that you may get a medal instead of imprisonment, so you would still need to find a crime to commit.
1 person likes this
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
4 May 16
@Asylum Ah yes, that a risk
1 person likes this
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
4 May 16
I'm looking for comfortable incarceration - not to be lynched by a bunch of Trumpites.
3 people like this
@Orson_Kart (6776)
• United Kingdom
4 May 16
I have heard of couples wanting separate bedrooms as they get older, but never separate prisons.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 May 16
My dad always said "3 hots and a cot"...it has always been a big joke on how we wanted to go to jail just to save money and not have to worry about anything else. When my grandma was getting to the point of dying she had in home care nurses and they were never the best so she would often times tell me she would be better off in jail they pay attention to you more there...It is a sad truth that our prisoners are sometimes helped and taken better care of than our elderly or homeless verterans!
1 person likes this
• Eugene, Oregon
4 May 16
Maybe some kind of larceny would be good, but then they may let you out too soon for good behavior.
1 person likes this
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
4 May 16
No, I'd definitely not want to be behaving well.
1 person likes this
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
4 May 16
@ElizabethWallace To be honest, I'm not really sure what larceny is.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 May 16
People who commit larceny don't go to prison. You know that. They get a bonus at work or a golden parachute.
2 people like this
• United States
4 May 16
They have free medical care too.
1 person likes this
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
4 May 16
That's not such an advantage in the UK thanks to our fantastic health service. But quite a consideration in the USA, for sure.
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
4 May 16
You don't want something to violent do you? A money making scheme indeed why don't you just go to work for a home for the elderly.
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
4 May 16
@boiboing What would you do then?
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
4 May 16
No, absolutely nothing violent. I'm not that type.
1 person likes this
@topffer (42156)
• France
4 May 16
It has to be serious crimes, or Her Majesty will probably pardon you because of your old age. I am not sure that we have 10 prisoners above 80 in France. And for care homes, it really depends. My father had an Alzheimer decease and was in a care home. Indeed, he was not allowed to go outdoors alone, but it was a lot better than a jail, with many activities and group outings offered. And they were organizing a birthday party for every resident. Not sure that you would have a birthday cake and would be allowed to invite your friends in a prison.
@topffer (42156)
• France
4 May 16
@boiboing I think it is possible here in a few jails receiving prisoners sentenced to 10 years or more. They are better treated since a lot of rebellions in these jails in the 1970's against the prison system where prison guards were killed.
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
4 May 16
This may make you surprised but my husband's prisoners often club together to buy the ingredients and make birthday cakes for their friends inside.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
4 May 16
honestly, prisions prob treat inmates better than some elder care homes
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
4 May 16
Probably not in the USA.
2 people like this
• Centralia, Missouri
4 May 16
@boiboing there are bad bad elder homes here, dunno about prisons, only seen them on tv
@akalinus (43196)
• United States
5 May 16
Here is another alternative. I read about a woman who decided to spend her golden years on a cruise ship. She would pay some and do some work every week so she would have spending money. She would just live on the ship and go wherever it goes. She would dine and meet people and visit ports. I wonder if a couple could do that. At least, you would be together.
@Fleura (30392)
• United Kingdom
4 May 16
This reminds me of the old film 'Laughter in Paradise' where one of the relatives has to go to prison to inherit a share of an alleged fortune, and his attempt to commit an appropriate crime are repeatedly foiled. Have you seen it?
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
4 May 16
I don't think I know that one @Fleura
1 person likes this
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
5 May 16
@Fleura Anything with Alastair Sim is always worth a watch.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (30392)
• United Kingdom
5 May 16
@boiboing It's a very long time since I saw it, but I enjoyed it then. It's in a similar vein to the Ealing comedies but I don't think it is one of them
Directed by Mario Zampi. With Alastair Sim, Fay Compton, Guy Middleton, George Cole. When a millionaire practical joker dies, he divides his fortune among four heirs who must carry out his zany instructions to cash in.
@euphie (573)
• Ballymena, Northern Ireland
4 May 16
Something fun certainly - no point in committing a boring crime!
@euphie (573)
• Ballymena, Northern Ireland
4 May 16
@boiboing Only problem is that you may be mistaken for an MP if you did that, though at least the pay would be okay...
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
4 May 16
So true,care homes cost a fortune.Just remember people might mess up with you in prison when the lights go out lol
@Dishari (687)
4 May 16
Haha! What an awesome idea! You might try robbing some banks, and then perhaps kidnap some people you like. This way, you get the money and people to party with before you end up in the money saving stay! :p
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
4 May 16
Hmm, you might have something with that suggestion.
1 person likes this
@Dishari (687)
5 May 16
@boiboing yeah :D