~Different Methods For Different Kids~
By Jennifer
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
Valdosta, Georgia
October 17, 2017 11:58am CST
Hey everyone I hope your doing well today.
Things are good here. I got chores done early this morning and the little girl I babysit is here. =)
I'm also watching my husband's 4 year old nephew today too. He can be a handful at times but I realized I was going about things all wrong with him.
He was talking back and threw a fit earlier. My first thought was time out so I put him there. But he kept talking back even after I told him I was adding 4 minutes every time he did that. He didn't seem to care so that wasn't working.
So... I decided to try something else. I told him that I wanted to be proud of him so I wanted him to be a good boy and to listen to me. I said I know you want people to think your good so why are you being bad? He said nobody loves me, that's why.
I gave him a hug and said I love you, I just want you to try hard to be a good boy. He said he would try just for me.
Ever since we had that talk when I asked him to do something or not do it, he listened without talking back or throwing a fit!
Different methods work for different kids, that's for sure... He wants to be loved and he wants positive attention, and now he knows how to get it...at least from me.
21 people like this
22 responses
@RasmaSandra (79687)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
17 Oct 17
You are right no two kids respond the same. You made me remember a part of a comedy movie Yours, Mine and Ours and in the movie this one boy is being really bad. The mom lightly spanks him and says why are you being a bad boy? Where did the good little boy go? The kid yells back that someone told him only the good die young so he's never going to be good again 
imagine reasoning with that logic.
imagine reasoning with that logic.5 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
17 Oct 17
@Rasmasamdra Oh my goodness, I love that movie!! Lol.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (67085)
• United States
17 Oct 17
Yes, everyone is different and with kids, it takes different things to get them to listen and behave. Which not alot of people understand, and thats when the trouble starts from both ends.
Glad you found a way to get throgh to him.. i hope he knows people do love him though.. some kids say that but dont mean it, just angry or feel it in that moment.
4 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
17 Oct 17
@Courtlynn I'm very strict on my own when it comes to respect, manners, listening, etc...
My children know they are very loved though, it's because we love them that we punish them. If we didnt love them we wouldn't care what they do.
He's been allowed to get away with a lot in the toddler years. Too little too late? Not sure...
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
17 Oct 17
@Courtlynn Yeah his mom is tough on him a lot, which he needs it because he doesn't listen to her at all but I thought maybe he needed a different approach for once.
Thanks, me too. I'm not sure if he actually feels that way or he just feels like he's always in trouble instead of getting praised.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67085)
• United States
17 Oct 17
@LovingMyBabies sometimes we have to be tough, but still should be calm and loving and try to do it in a softer approach, like you did.
But also depends how they are behave at home, and get away with there, and what not as to how they are when in other peoples care.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
17 Oct 17
@topffer Thank you. =) Sometimes it takes a different approach.
2 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (37350)
• Toccoa, Georgia
17 Oct 17
That is good you found a way to deal with him. You are good with kids.
2 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
17 Oct 17
@Leapea2417 Thank you. I truly love kids and I try to understand them.
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (41387)
• United States
17 Oct 17
Wow, poor kid. It's great you were able to get a good response from him. He just needed some affection.
3 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
17 Oct 17
@1creekgirl Yeah that was heart breaking to hear. He needed someone to listen and love him, without yelling at him or punishing him. I'm glad I went about it differently.
3 people like this
@just4him (317040)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
17 Oct 17
@LovingMyBabies I'm glad you did too.
1 person likes this
@JohnRoberts (109846)
• Los Angeles, California
17 Oct 17
I never had kids so parenting is alien to me!
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Oct 17
@Johnroberts Did you not want kids? Everyone is different so I'm just curious.
1 person likes this
@JohnRoberts (109846)
• Los Angeles, California
18 Oct 17
@LovingMyBabies No I did not.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (166718)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Oct 17
I so agree. Not all kids are alike or think alike. Great that you came up with this new way to reach the boy.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (166718)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Oct 17
@LovingMyBabies .....It's smart to strive to understand a child as you have done.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Oct 17
@celticeagle Thank you, it helped us both the rest of the day. =)
1 person likes this
@Tina30219 (81899)
• Onaway, Michigan
18 Oct 17
You are right different things work for different kids/people glad he did a turn around for you. Poor kid saying nobody loves him makes my heart break.
1 person likes this
@Tina30219 (81899)
• Onaway, Michigan
18 Oct 17
@LovingMyBabies Right glad you did.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Oct 17
@Tina30219 Yeah it was really sad. I was just glad I got through to him. =)
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Oct 17
@Juliaacv Yes, everyone is different and different things work or don't. Thank you. =)
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41387)
• United States
18 Oct 17
Kids really do respond to different kinds of discipline. Our son when he was little and got hurt was the "Oh, you're ok, you're a big boy" and would jump up and start playing. Didn't work with our daughter. When she got hurt, she would sit there crying all day until she heard, "Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry you got a boo boo. This kisd and hug will make it all better." Then she was fine!
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Oct 17
@1creekgirl Yes they definitely do respond in different ways to different things.
Our kids differed with this too! My girls wanted more attention while my boys wanted a kiss then they would shake it off.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Oct 17
@just4him Thank you. I was grateful it worked.
1 person likes this
@DesirousDreamer (34776)
• Peoria, Arizona
17 Oct 17
No two kids are alike. It is better to talk things out than to just throw them in time out. It is like beatings, beatings and time out don't teach them anything. It just tells them not to do that thing again, but doesn't teach them why. When my nieces acted up, I let them cry it out and let them talk. My step sister normally just sent them to their room. Kids are smart, people don't realize that that kids are SO smart. And they need to be taught rather than told and listened to rather than spoken to.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
17 Oct 17
@desirousdreamer My approach for my own was always punish, then explain why they have been punished. After they get out of time out we can talk about why they did what they did, etc...
Some things have to be punished first, talk later.
@DesirousDreamer (34776)
• Peoria, Arizona
17 Oct 17
@LovingMyBabies I was raised in a no spanking house hold. I think I only got popped in the mouth 2 and spanked once. Because my mom taught me to speak and to listen. I did it with my nieces and they learned to not behave so badly. All kids are different, but all of them can talk.
1 person likes this
@spiderdust (14761)
• San Jose, California
17 Oct 17
Hmm, I should try this approach!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160615)
• United States
18 Oct 17
We find that when students are arguing and talking back here at school, our special students, that if we ignore that behavior and do not engage in it with them, they quit talking back and become reasonable. You are right, you can sometimes even find what is at the root of the issue. Positivity sure does help. Good job. I have done this with students in the mainstream class my little guy is in. I explain that sometimes he gets in trouble for the types of things they do, like throw rocks or not come in when it is time. I tell them he likes to copy them, and if they do the right thing, he will too. You know that works a lot better than scolding and making them feel bad.
1 person likes this
@prashu228 (37524)
• India
17 Oct 17
Aww poor kid..he is seeking love. Is he ignored by his parents or they don't have much time for him..?
You got the point why he is like that..
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
17 Oct 17
@prashu228 Yeah, he gets in trouble a lot so he probably feels like he's not loved due to that. He is loved, he just needed a different approach to discipline I think.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
17 Oct 17
@jstory07 Unfortunately he gets a lot of negative attention and not so much praising when he does good. =(
Yes he does know that now and its helping.
1 person likes this
