79 years old remarrying

Me too. Why should we condemn anybody to loneliness. In India, people start counting their inheritances.

I would be ok even for monies, as long as the person is patient enough to wait for it all instead of killing either of us.

@DaddyEvil I don't want to be a whiny senile old man. That'd be nice and handy to get a wife (that's true)... but I'm enough whiny and senile already. Longevity destroys the novelty.

Why do you wonder if you will reach 80 years old, YOU? (I can easily believe marrying at 80 years old would be your first marriage, though! grinning and teasing you!)

@hora_fugit I don't want to think about you ever becoming senile, YOU. I MIGHT agree with whiny, since you so named yourself... The senile part would definitely win you a wife in India... But right after your marriage you'd probably lose your life, too. I hope I'm gone before that happens. (not joking.)

@DaddyEvil That is mean thing to say! He is not that bad...only swings in his feelings.

I am almost 60 and dad is 83 and I have abusive relatives. With age there are many things elderly need, and elderly forget. My relatives would arrive take everything and leave him high and dry in less than an year. In comparison, a wife would be a better alternative.

I don't believe I would want to look after her dad if something happens to vanny. He sounds like a contrary person (not that vanny is not a very contrary person at times, too!) who would make caring for him difficult, just because he could.

Out here, people take it for granted that once a person has crossed 40 there is no point in him or her marrying, which is really weird. If I die, who will be there for dad?

@LadyDuck That is the cultural difference I suppose. I was around 38 years old, when one of my aunt gloated that now the properties on my name will go to her children.

@vandana7 Yes, it is a great cultural difference and to whom the properties go are dictated by the laws.

Perhaps..not sure. May be he was waiting to be asked to do it. God is my witness I had no issues about it and I had conveyed that before as well. But somewhere in between the career and all those things completely kept me engrossed and I regret not having thought of it then.

@vandana7 If your father is happy, there's nothing to worry about.

Yeah .I suppose so.

I suppose so. But a couple of times if I mentioned it, may be he will think in the lines that I am thinking now. I mean I could die before him.

I am glad that you are open to the idea DE. I keep wondering how will dad manage if I die. He does not remember which rent is due, how much, and which checks go into which bank. He does not remember that there are some repairs due, and I have to gently keep telling him. Lots there which if I go, and if he outlives me might go haywire. That is why I thought marriage might be a good idea. Or a decent old age home.

@DaddyEvil Compared to me dad is more into social life here, so he has friends without whom he would not be comfortable. Old age home, we will be checking a few, just in case I kick the bucket. lol. All possibilities need to be thought of, right? LOL. When you and me fight, I will return and stay in one of those. Evil Grin. Check this one out...it sounds too good to be true, and in my budget.

@vandana7 I am wondering how you would fare if your dad decided he wanted to live in an old age home? Would you like living alone? And then there are all the other things your dad does for you, too. One question though... Why would he need to remember which rents are due? All rents are due on the first of each month, right? (That's how it is here. Even if you move into an apartment on the 15th of the month, the month you move in you pay for part of the month and thereafter, you pay each month in advance.) I am not discouraging you from thinking about these things, vanny. I am just curious.

He does have a good friend base. But they all are nearing his age, and have health issues of their own. In fact, dad is in better health than most of them, which sets him up for some shocks and loneliness, especially because he is close to two of them.

That trend is catching up here, though I am not sure it is possible in dad's generation. I suggested marriage because if the lady is going to take care of my pa, she should have decent income after dad is no more.

@vandana7 That's one way to look at it. I wish him the best in whatever he decides.

I really like Germans. They are so logical. LOL. It makes sense actually. Indians would be averse to their parents going ahead, but that is because they are eyeing properties inheritance. Of what use the inheritance if we can't have parents happy? That is the primary relationship. If we fail there, we don't qualify as successful folks, no matter what the bank balance says.

@thelme55 Towards the end of life, after retiring, when the world has no time for us, there is enough time to reflect on our past, and what we did or didn't do to or for our parents will come to haunt us. There is slight justification in saying that we did not ask to be born, and considering the tough job environment and cost of living, they should have avoided having a child. That looking after us, was therefore their moral and legal obligation. That said, no law or moral obligation says a child should have more than 4 or six pair of clothes, ice creams, birthday parties, and innumerable wishes that they fulfill, when we are minors and when we are adults, foregoing what could have become a decent part of their retirement savings, that could have fetched them services of a caregiver and some medication and some medical insurances and some food required clothing, if not some homes and indulgences. Indians are becoming so bad that they expect parents to liquidate the properties even when they are alive!!! They haven't the patience to wait for parents to pass away. Once the parents give in out of love and trust, there are always some reasons which can lead to quarrels and throwing them out. Girls are somewhat better. Boys are either bad, or not earning sufficiently so depend upon wives to help them out. When this happens, the wives dictate the terms, and parents get thrown out. When I hear those stories I feel hey ..old age homes are meant for childless and people who have lost everything to calamities or have for some reason such as health become poor. Not for people who want to throw away parents so that they can enjoy their properties the modern way.

@vandana7 I agree with you. Those children who are only thinking of their inheritance are selfish. They are not thinking of how happy they could make their parents.

If it came to that, I would. For now, I have only mentioned it twice since yesterday. Let dad mull over it. I really don't mine him having somebody.