Would You Mind If I Call You As A Friend?
By AKRao24
@AKRao24 (27424)
India
March 4, 2018 8:31am CST
I want to make it very clear in the beginning itself that I am posting this discussion with no malice intention against anyone!
This is a place where we get to learn many things which are never known to us before.
Last night in one of the discussions I was told that I am not supposed to address an unknown person as a friend. 
I was also told that it is not offensive but it is inappropriate to use!
Having done the research I could make it out that when we say ’Friend ‘ it refers to a person with whom one has bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.
Almost every dictionary is giving more or less similar definition with added traits what a friend should have.
I have referred a few dictionaries like Oxford Dictionary, Cambridge dictionary, Merriam –Webster Dictionary to get the idea about the word 'friend'.
So instead of creating any confusion I learned that people from USA feel that they are not be addressed as friend by any one unless they are well known to each other! 
I want to know if thing is valid for the European Countries and Australia?
Here the Prime Minister of the Country addresses the people as dear Friends.
English is not a native language for Indians and we take the support of various available resources to enrich ourselves in that language.
I gathered that the word "friend" comes from Old English "freond", which is actually the present participle of "freogan", which means “ to love” or “to honor”.
(Link : )
So, in India the word ‘Friend’ is used to give honor and respect to the person with whom we are talking!
Can I have opinion about this topic from the respected members here, so that we all can learn something new today? Thanks!
This is a place where we get to learn many things which are never known to us before.
Last night in one of the discussions I was told that I am not supposed to address an unknown person as a friend.
I was also told that it is not offensive but it is inappropriate to use!
Having done the research I could make it out that when we say ’Friend ‘ it refers to a person with whom one has bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.
Almost every dictionary is giving more or less similar definition with added traits what a friend should have.
I have referred a few dictionaries like Oxford Dictionary, Cambridge dictionary, Merriam –Webster Dictionary to get the idea about the word 'friend'.
So instead of creating any confusion I learned that people from USA feel that they are not be addressed as friend by any one unless they are well known to each other!
I want to know if thing is valid for the European Countries and Australia?
Here the Prime Minister of the Country addresses the people as dear Friends.
English is not a native language for Indians and we take the support of various available resources to enrich ourselves in that language.
I gathered that the word "friend" comes from Old English "freond", which is actually the present participle of "freogan", which means “ to love” or “to honor”.
(Link : )
So, in India the word ‘Friend’ is used to give honor and respect to the person with whom we are talking!
Can I have opinion about this topic from the respected members here, so that we all can learn something new today? Thanks!https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=friends
21 people like this
23 responses
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
4 Mar 18
I sincerely appreciate your concern and generosity towards the practical life dear friend @LadyDuck, if you see that some one is not following the rules because of their unawareness...then it is too much to ask them to mend their ways.... once again I sincerely appreciate your spirits! Thanks a lot! God bless!
! Thanks a lot! God bless!4 people like this
@LadyDuck (472150)
• Switzerland
5 Mar 18
@AKRao24 I do not find offensive at all those who are polite and call the other members "friends". Some American users (mainly women) address to the others using "honey" or "sweetie". This is also not at all used in Europe, but I surely do not feel offended for this.
2 people like this
@Swayamsiddha (4354)
• New Delhi, India
4 Mar 18
Ofcourse the answer that was given to u in the dictionary was right.
4 people like this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
4 Mar 18
Could you kindly elaborate bit more , @Swayamsiddha ? I fail to understand what you want to imply! Can I address you as friend or not? Thanks!
3 people like this
@Swayamsiddha (4354)
• New Delhi, India
4 Mar 18
@AKRao24 Yup u can call me a friend.
2 people like this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
4 Mar 18
Thanks dear friend @Swayamsiddha ! You are already my friend and let us spread this message of friendship to the World! Thanks!
1 person likes this
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
4 Mar 18
Filipinos call and address each other " kaibigan" or friend, it's very natural, especially if you don't know a person's name but "kaibigan" is more commonly used for the male gender whereas friend could be used for both sexes ( a lot of Filipinos are bilingual)
" Kaibigan" not friend could also be used to call a person's attention, it's more polite than psssst or " hoy!" ( hey!). It could also be a polite warning, so a policeman might say " kaibigan don't do that again" a change in tone could mean a sterner warning.
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"3 people like this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
4 Mar 18
That is what we also have in India...that is why we feel comfortable calling some one as friend or being get called by some one as friend...that is minimum courtesy I believe...thanks a lot for making my day dear friend @louievill ! Thanks a lot! god bless!
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41778)
• United States
4 Mar 18
I know different cultures have different customs, but I don't mind being called Friend on myLot. Here in eastern NC, I don't use that unless it's someone that is close to me. But on this site, it's very nice.
3 people like this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
4 Mar 18
So nice to hear those words full of concern and caring towards the humanity...yes we are here to exchange the culture, heritage, economics, philosophy of life...until unless we can't appreciate or tolerate the small mistakes how can we proceed further...I got really impressed...Thanks a lot dear friend@1creekgirl, for your such an encouraging and positive response! God bless us all! Thanks!
1 person likes this
@MashaVickina (2184)
• Russian Federation
4 Mar 18
Quite honestly, when several young guys tried to call me a "friend" on myLot, I strictly told them not to do it. But sometimes, I myself say "my friends" to my students, like a senior. So when you call me "friend," it is my honor, as I have noticed that you are a couple of years younger than my mum I think it is a kind word which you use for those who are much younger than you So, I don't mind and even like it thanks
I think it is a kind word which you use for those who are much younger than you So, I don't mind and even like it thanks3 people like this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
4 Mar 18
I am sssoooo happy that you have caught the crux of the discussion and presented your response in such a positive and touching way dear friend @MashaVickina ! That is the way we address people while respecting and honoring them...again it all says in your discussion , if you are my friend or foe? Thanks a lot! God bless!
2 people like this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
5 Mar 18
Now only I am aware that such issues are involved here in mylot. 
I am bit introvert and I can't mingle with people easily and I need time to take people in my heart. I think I have been a member here for the last 9 years and those I met since then, I can discuss things very open. But for those who are not familiar I just post my response based on the topic. If any one calls me as a friend here, I really don't have any problem. I do respect their way of treating people. Honestly I don't give much importance to those salutations since it does not make any harm to me. We are here for helping each other not for offending any one.
I am bit introvert and I can't mingle with people easily and I need time to take people in my heart. I think I have been a member here for the last 9 years and those I met since then, I can discuss things very open. But for those who are not familiar I just post my response based on the topic. If any one calls me as a friend here, I really don't have any problem. I do respect their way of treating people. Honestly I don't give much importance to those salutations since it does not make any harm to me. We are here for helping each other not for offending any one.1 person likes this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
5 Mar 18
Dear @Sreekala...I am deliberately responding you late, in fact having responded all other responses I am coming here to respond so that I can express myself leisurely...
Yes, as you said nobody can ever think of such things happening here in this modern age! This is just a case of ego to show others that people are educated and they know much about the language without having any consideration about the feelings and emotions of others. There is always some thing beyond life than just sticking to laid rules and hurting others! I would like these type of people as Educated immature people...who have basically forgotten the importance of education!
Like you said we Indians are basically introvert in nature and we open up with others once we get to understand others, over the period of time, with the behavior or interaction with them.
Like any other human beings we also like to have our egos pampered and we expect others to pay respect to us....but then in the name of usage of the language if some one says that - I can call my fellow Indians as my 'Dear Friend' and not that person, it really hurts. and on top of it , end the end of discussion the person reminds me that this is the end of discussion by say that - now it is Full Point and asks me if I understand that!
Yes for a time being I was disturbed then having done some research I found that in certain countries friend means some thing very different from what we think in India!
So just to have an idea and to know how many such people are there on this site for whom addressing them as a friend really hurts them....so I have come up with this post!
Thanks a lot dear friend....for your sincere and frank opinion as usual. Have a great time ...God bless!
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
4 Mar 18
I think I should also mention that even the endearment "dear" is not well-received by some and Indians use it often.
2 people like this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
4 Mar 18
Yes, i agree with your views... but did we have teachers in our scools who taught us about this? We often refer babies, small kids, pets and near and dear ones as 'Dear' which implies that we care and affectinate in true sense about them!
Unfortunately we are the people learned (not learnt) English from British and running towards USA where every thing is very different as far as the language is concerned!
And still we feel great that we know American English and our Children know the Australian English!
So would you mind if I address as 'Dear'? Thanks! God bless!
1 person likes this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
5 Mar 18
So kind of you dear friend @Daljinder to explaining so sensibly and simply....yes it is so true we can't address a kid without using the word 'bete' which i often do while dealing with my workers here on the farm...by doing so we I feel that I am transmitting positive waves to them. May be because of this habit we Indians might have developed the habit of using dear to show the care and concern for the others!
Thanks a lot to mention that you have no problem if I address you as my dear friend!
God bless! Have a great time!
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
5 Mar 18
@AKRao24 I am not sure because I have never used "dear" with anyone. But that could be because I am an extremely private person when it comes to showing affection.
Only time we used "Dear" was when we writing informal letters in school in English Class. lol I don't know how or when this spilled over into daily conversations. Oh wait! Could it be possible that Indians are translating "beta" "beti" "bhai" "yaar" to "dear" ??? It is very common for us to use in everyday conversations. 
And no, I don't have a problem with you using it. If I had, I would have told you. Everyone on myLot is friend. No matter who or where they come from.
And no, I don't have a problem with you using it. If I had, I would have told you. Everyone on myLot is friend. No matter who or where they come from.1 person likes this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
5 Mar 18
Thanks a lot dear friend @Hannihar! Your opinion is highly appreciated and it is to the point and explains every thing! We are all participating on a site where we come to exchange the views and feelings, though we make some cents while doing so! Yes, every one understands that the earnings are nothing for the members for the time they are devoting!
This means that we all are here to share our moments of happiness and gloominess so that we can vent out our feelings freely and make ourselves comfortable! Since most of the people here are very co operative, understand and sensible ...I think they are the friends and I no hassles at all to call them as my friends!
While appreciating your wonderful response , I pray the almighty to bless you best of his blessings! Thanks!
1 person likes this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
4 Mar 18
yes, i know that is the way we are taught and bright up dear friend @Teekaaa! i always feel elated and blessed if some one addresses here as dear friend at this old age! I wish people to have heart of concern and caring instead of perfection and to follow the beaten path! god bless! Thanks!
@junrose123 (635)
•
6 Mar 18
There is nothing wrong about it and its good to be call as a friend.
1 person likes this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
6 Mar 18
Thanks a lot dear friend @junrose123 ! You have boosted my Morales ! God bless for your encouragement and positive response! Have a great time!
1 person likes this
@junrose123 (635)
•
6 Mar 18
@AKRao24 Your welcome, it is a pleasure to be of help to everybody in my own initiative.
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
5 Mar 18
Well, maybe that person is bitter or does not have a lot of friends. People have different views and of course we have to respect that. But as a whole, a stranger can be a friend, even if you met him or her a few seconds ago. A person can be a friend, without the need to know him personally. I have friends who I know but not really close to but still they are my friends. Maybe, the "friend" that person is saying is the one he or she is really close to or someone he have known for a long period of time. But it doesnt matter.
1 person likes this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
5 Mar 18
Thanks a lot dear friend @mlgen1037 ! I sincerely appreciate your broad minded views and fully agree with them. You are a person who has concern for others and care for others! Have a great day dear friend! God bless!
1 person likes this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
5 Mar 18
So great of you dear friend @mlgen1037 ...I will try my level best to be when ever a true friend and extend my helping hand whenever it is required! God bless us all ! Thanks a lot!
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
5 Mar 18
You're most welcome @AKRao24. I am happy to be here and have you all as my friend. I am sure you are a great friend to be with. I wish you likewise, my dear friend. God bless too. 
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61101)
• United States
6 Mar 18
I will not be offended if you call me friend, not at all!!
1 person likes this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
6 Mar 18
So kind and nice of you dear friend @BelleStarr! Nice to know that you had a great cruise for seven days! The discussion is really pleasant one! God bless!
1 person likes this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
6 Mar 18
Very true and very logical response dear friend @nela13! I too do have the feeling that we all are here to exchange our good and bad experiences of life likes the friends they do...where is the problem if we address each other as a friend? Very well sai! God bless!
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (36665)
• India
6 Mar 18
@AKRao24 I'll be so glad if you call me your friend.We are friends no matter we know each other or not.
1 person likes this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
6 Mar 18
Thanks a lot dear friend @Shivram59 ! That is the part of our culture...we feel homoured if some one calls us a friend! Thanks a lot! God bless!
1 person likes this
@Betxie1221 (469)
• Philippines
5 Mar 18
for me, i think here in my country Philippines, we don't mind calling us friends even if we are not close to each other, we usually tag them as friend.. but i'm not sure about other Asian countries..
1 person likes this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
5 Mar 18
In India also we have the same thing...we call people as friends as a mark of respect and to make them comfortable...Thanks a lot dear friend @Betxie1221 for sharing the information! Have a great time! Thanks!
1 person likes this
@Betxie1221 (469)
• Philippines
5 Mar 18
@AKRao24 no problems new friend.. this kind of post makes us aware of the culture from other country... thumbs up on this friend!
on this friend!1 person likes this
