How do you react to negative views about you?
By Shiva
@Shiva49 (26684)
Singapore
March 20, 2018 10:32pm CST
We find comfort in being who we are. Then out of the blue we are hit between the eyes about some remark that portrays us in bad light. It is natural to feel hurt even if there is no truth in what is said.
We are sensitive to varying degrees. Though I try to find meaning in what I do and make sure it is the best way, I keep my eyes and ears open to what others feel and say about me and my lifestyle. After all, we are part of society and have to observe certain norms.
Occasionally, I have been taken aback by remarks that are obviously not correct but still made about me. My way is not to talk negatively of others and if at all I feel the need to say something I tell that person directly but taking care not to hurt feelings. However, there are people who have a habit to talk behind our backs and then we come to know that through third parties. Then we wonder about the purpose to indulge in such.
I analyze what is said and the reason that could have led to such a situation. I am keen to move on with a take people do such to feel superior and some do so by running down others. It is not my problem then. Just move on.
How do you deal with such hurtful moments?
Image: Stop lies from Dreamstime
23 people like this
28 responses
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
21 Mar 18
I usually let it go. I totally ignore. I always believe in Karma... I don't like to be affected by bad vibes.
4 people like this
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
21 Mar 18
@Shiva49 oh yeah! I have so many things to accomplish and to think about how to do them. and these negative energies are not included so who cares...
3 people like this
@Shiva49 (26684)
• Singapore
21 Mar 18
@Mavic123456 Negativity can pull us down and is a real dampener. Good that you can look ahead - siva
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100297)
• India
21 Mar 18
I have been victim of it quite often. LOL. I remember my receptionist complained that her pay was too low for her, and requested me to talk to the boss. When I did, he heard me patiently. Then a couple of days later, there was a meeting called, and in it the receptionist and few others condemned me in front of the whole staff saying I was being high handed with them, and I had no proof to show I was not. I kept aloof, again I was treated the same way. So finally I started behaving high handed. Why not? They deserved it. LOL
4 people like this
@vandana7 (100297)
• India
21 Mar 18
@Shiva49 I think the boss knew it, but did not want to be increasing her salary. So he took it as an excuse to call her and put her in awkward situation. Job is important so the girl lied, and tried to cover it up by adding other people into group saying you can ask her and all that. Others too wanted to say yes as they felt their jobs were safer that way. And public humiliation was to ensure that I never helped the girls out. Once black listed, it becomes easy to hurt second and third time...so we might as well be BAD. LOL. No regrets.
3 people like this
@Shiva49 (26684)
• Singapore
21 Mar 18
That is indeed being ungrateful.
We are caught unawares in such a situation and blindsided.
I try to be of as much help as possible everywhere and that result in others unloading their rubbish on to me! I am unable to change that attitude of mine - siva
3 people like this
@Shiva49 (26684)
• Singapore
21 Mar 18
@vandana7 One lie leads to many. If we tell the truth we do not have to remember what we told!
Sometimes the tables are turned the way we least expect and we are on putting out the fires set by others!
You showed you can be really bad if they cannot appreciate your good intention! siva
3 people like this
@cherigucchi (14876)
• Philippines
21 Mar 18
It depends on where it is coming from. If it comes from the people I know who do not like me, I just don't mind their opinions about me. If it comes from the people who care, I listen and reflect.
4 people like this
@MarymargII (12422)
• Toronto, Ontario
22 Mar 18
No one likes to hear negative things about themselves, but I try to first think if it could be true and if it could be right I try to change and maybe address the problem. If it's just unkind, I try to forget it or perhaps speak to the person.
3 people like this
@Shiva49 (26684)
• Singapore
27 Mar 18
@MarymargII I have faced issues in the workplace like when one was jealous of my standing and tried to pull me down by any means. I told all concerned that my only focus was the organization should succeed and it was not my ego - siva
3 people like this
@MarymargII (12422)
• Toronto, Ontario
27 Mar 18
@Shiva49 True- if it's an honest misunderstanding at least you have a chance to right it but people are too quick to judge.
3 people like this
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
25 Mar 18
Thankfully, I haven't had much of a problem of that situation.
3 people like this
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
25 Mar 18
@Shiva49 So far, so good!
However, if somebody said something negative about me I would just ignore it. I'm not perfect and neither are they.
3 people like this
@Shiva49 (26684)
• Singapore
25 Mar 18
@1hopefulman That is the perfect attitude! siva
2 people like this
@allknowing (136540)
• India
22 Mar 18
Most of the time the method is to praise one to the face but talk bad behind one's back. I am firmly grounded in that I know my strengths and weaknesses and do not attach any value to whatever opinion that others have about me good or bad.
3 people like this
@allknowing (136540)
• India
22 Mar 18
@Shiva49 When opinions differ from person to person vis a vis what they see in us the best is to depend on oneself and move on.
3 people like this
@Shiva49 (26684)
• Singapore
22 Mar 18
@allknowing Yes, we can always agree to disagree to coexist - siva
3 people like this
@LilyBeBack (1994)
• United Kingdom
21 Mar 18
It depends who it is that's doing it, I suppose. If a stranger or acquaintance did this to me then I'd pretend that I didn't care, but inside I would be stressed about it simply because it's a form of confrontation and I don't like confrontation. If a friend or family member did this then I'd be upset and I'd want to get to the bottom of why it happened in the first place 
3 people like this
@LilyBeBack (1994)
• United Kingdom
22 Mar 18
@Shiva49 It amazes me how some people think they can do well in a group setting by talking negatively about everyone else! 
3 people like this
@Shiva49 (26684)
• Singapore
22 Mar 18
@LilyBeBack Blame games are a real spoiler but others should put their foot down.
I go by the maxim - if I point one finger at another without reason, nine fingers will point at me - siva
3 people like this
@Shiva49 (26684)
• Singapore
21 Mar 18
Yes, though we can say and even pretend others' opinion and actions do not affect us deep inside they linger.
I worked for over forty years in many organizations and in few countries. I can testify one apple can spoil the whole lot! Some are not only not team players but also active spoilers! United we stand, divided we fall - falls on deaf ears to some people!
Yes, with close relatives and friends I go out of the way to smoothen ruffled feathers due to perceived slights, misunderstandings - siva
3 people like this
@aninditasen (16397)
• Raurkela, India
21 Mar 18
I avoid them at first but then strike back when they cause there limit.
3 people like this
@Jessabuma (31700)
• Baguio, Philippines
21 Mar 18
Well, I never mind them. I believe that guilty means true, so I just forget and move on.
3 people like this
@id_peace (14005)
• Singapore
21 Mar 18
1. Study the negative thing said about me
2. Self analysis if it is true
3. If not true, discard.
4. If true, see if I could overcome it.
5. If I couldn’t (example too short), shelf the view
6. If I could, plan actions to overcome it.
7. Seek for clarification with the person if needed so that you could improve
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Mar 18
I haven't had too much experience of this sort of thing, but recently someone said that I had said something, which I had not. I chose not to confront them as it would have entailed unpleasantness, though in my younger days I would have waded in whatever the consequences.
3 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
23 Mar 18
Those nasty people are everywhere, in all walks of life. I find people who do that lack something in their own life and are jealous human beings. I just read a comment on a post about me. I had to laugh, because that person is petty and extremely jealous. There is nothing to do except go about your life and enjoy the good in it.
3 people like this
@jnesperos (269)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Mar 18
Well I am that "very sensitive" person that someone may know. hearing negative thoughts and comments about me makes my heart crumpled and crushed into pieces. I think I just have to deal with that kind of people who always think negative about me and use this to make good things and to erase those comments in their mind
3 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
21 Mar 18
I usually react and be defensive but in the long run I learned to shrug them off. I would listen but if those comments are based on rumors, I would either talk to the person or ignore them. Constructive criticism is more acceptable because it is more objective based.
3 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
21 Mar 18
@Shiva49 that should be right attitude. But there are people who bring their mean attitude and problem at work and slash out on people. Thats way too rude.
3 people like this
@Starmaiden (9311)
• Canada
21 Mar 18
I feel compassion for those people. Often what they see in others only reflects what they see in themselves, which is a demon they are trying to run from. :-(
3 people like this
