Another gig tonight. Why won't my "pretend son's" mom ever come to our gigs?
By The Horse
@TheHorse (225700)
Walnut Creek, California
May 12, 2018 7:16pm CST
A band I'm in called the "Diablo Rhythm Wranglers" will be doing a gig tonight at Bonehead's BBQ in Lafayette CA. Stop on by if you're in the area.
I always invite my 9-year-old friend and his mom, but they never show up. I wonder why. I've introduced the kid to guitar and mandolin, and he and I sing in key together.
Could his mom be jealous of my influence on her son? I only teach him good stuff (woodworking, music, etc.). She is from Croatia, and the kid's biological father is back in Croatia now, and not in the kid's life.
I mostly play bass in this band, but I'll grab the guitar and sing lead on a few songs, including Pancho and Lefty, Paradise, and Take Me Back to Tulsa. In the band, I share Pancho and Lefty with the band leader's husband. I think my vocals are better than his, but I don't mind sharing.
Have you been in situations where others "avoid" you for reasons you can't fully understand? I'd think my young friend's mom would want him to be involved in as much music a possible. He and I have actually worked out some songs that we can sing with no instruments behind us. He has "the gift."
13 people like this
15 responses
@chavezrmc (6095)
• Philippines
13 May 18
Just go on with the friendship with kid, never mind the mom lol, but of course just be frienldly she might change.
4 people like this
@chavezrmc (6095)
• Philippines
13 May 18
@TheHorse on second thought maybe you can ask your friend if there is an issue so you will know where to start and i'm sure you can hanldle it well. If he is a friend, then there should be no secrets It will be good if your relationship with the mother is good as with the son.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (225700)
• Walnut Creek, California
13 May 18
@chavezrmc We do occasionally do stuff as a "family." We went hiking a few weeks ago, and have made dinner together, etc. But she's evasive when I ask about gigs.
@GardenGerty (163171)
• United States
13 May 18
It may be that she would consider it "chasing" you or appearing to be pursuing a relationship. Perhaps in her culture women would not go to those engagements alone.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (225700)
• Walnut Creek, California
13 May 18
I don;t know anything about Croatian relationships between men and women. But it's starting to be a burden to me. I left the middle of the day open to go to the pool with the child, as she had asked me if I could do so in the middle of the day, when she had to work. But then she got home and said that she was taking him somewhere to celebrate her birthday, and that he couldn't come to the pool.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (52247)
• United States
13 May 18
I wouldn’t worry with it. I’ve heard you play and it’s her loss.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (118748)
• Anniston, Alabama
13 May 18
Good God Man! Just ask the woman is there a reason?
2 people like this
@andriaperry (118748)
• Anniston, Alabama
14 May 18
@TheHorse Why not ask her out to dinner? Seems like you are attracted to her.
@allen0187 (58574)
• Philippines
14 May 18
Happened to me a good number of times. I've just learned to move on with my life with these people.
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
13 May 18
Maybe she has had very rocky relationships with men and doesn't feel comfortable around them. Its too bad if the boy has a talent for music and she won't let him express that, maybe you need to have a sit down with her and ask? Wish I lived in CA, it would be fun to go listen for a bit.
1 person likes this
@AliCanary (3304)
•
13 May 18
It's completely possible she just isn't into that style of music, yes? I have a friend whom I really adore, but his band plays seriously ear-splitting, shrieky metal, and I'm not that enthusiastic about it!
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
13 May 18
She might be shy or she is not into those kind of things but I think she appreciates how you teach her son with music and other stuff.
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
13 May 18
@TheHorse Thats great! And yes, better if you ask her than speculate.
@Starmaiden (9311)
• Canada
13 May 18
There could be multiple reasons. She might think that it's a "bar" gig and doesn't want to subject her son. She may not like your particular music style, she may think it too late for her son to be out...etc.
The only way to know for sure is to ask her. 
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (89897)
• Bangalore, India
13 May 18
Talk politely to her and try to find out what is the reason. Sometimes we create confusion in our mind with our thoughts woven by us and the reality is different. So have a honest talk. I feel a good communication clarifies a lot of things and make it easier
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (89897)
• Bangalore, India
14 May 18
@TheHorse I think she has some inhibitions and not being honest with you.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (225700)
• Walnut Creek, California
14 May 18
@arunima25 Her son said today that she doesn't want to have to buy dinner. I think the language barrier is something of an issue.
@Lisajeanne (2)
• Canada
13 May 18
Hmm that sounds weird. Maybe the mother doesn't feel comfortable in crowds? That's just a guess. I know I would go!! It looks like so much fun!!
