My only child dilemma :s
By Ana Yatzin
@AnnieY (210)
Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico
May 25, 2018 5:45pm CST
It is usually heard (and I personally hear it a lot) that having an only child will make him sad, lonely, antisocial and a spoiled greedy child because of all the attention being centered on him/her.
I'll be honest, I do sometimes feel bad when people tell me that I should give my son a little brother or sister so that he can have some company, I actually go into this trance of thoughts that begin with "I am the worst mother, I will leave my child with no company, he will hate me for not giving him a brother or sister, he'll be so antisocial that he won't have any friends, but I'm not getting any younger!!" LOL! and so on and so forth I am suddenly beating myself over someone else's perspective when in reality it is up to me whether he feels that way as he grows up or not.
I do my best to let my little boy know he is not alone, he is loved and cared for and I can never say never, who knows? maybe I'll have another child in the future but if I don't I am not beating myself up over that anymore. I feel my son is happy and it is only my duty to do my best to keep it that way and teach him to be a decent human being. I don't think I am wrong to think this way.
13 people like this
15 responses
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
26 May 18
No, you are not. I have a cousin who is an only child and she had a happy childhood. We grew up together so I am sure she was a happy child who had brothers and sisters.
2 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
26 May 18
@AnnieY You are always welcome, Ana. Looking forward to seeing more posts from you. 
1 person likes this
@AnnieY (210)
• Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico
27 May 18
@mlgen1037 Thank you so much! :)
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (342489)
• Rockingham, Australia
26 May 18
Single children are not necessarily at a disadvantage. There are so many clubs to join if he needs more friends than those he finds at school. As long as he has plenty of opportunities to mix with others of his own age he will be fine.
2 people like this
@AnnieY (210)
• Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico
26 May 18
Thank you Alfredo! people simply think different :)
@Starmaiden (9311)
• Canada
26 May 18
You are within your rights to not have another child if you dont wish to or are not ready to. I have 5 siblings and we are all estranged from each other. I know many "only childs" who grew up very healthy mentally, physically and spiritually. People are so set in their false beliefs. 
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (94517)
• United States
26 May 18
You don't need to do anything unless it's what is best for you and your family. P!ease don't listen to others telling you what is best for your child. Traditionally, only children are more selfish, but that doesn't mean they will be greedy. Who knows? Sometimes God only gives a woman one child because that child may need extra attention. And you are right: maybe one day you'll have another. You could always adopt if you didn't want to give birth again. My niece and nephew are adopted, and they are such blessings.
1 person likes this
@AnnieY (210)
• Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico
26 May 18
Aww that is lovely to know Amber. I try to just get it out of my mind as soon as I feel like I'm allowing people's opinion to affect me emotionally by telling myself that only I know in my heart what's best for me and my son and I believe in my motherly instinct, I'm not perfect but I do my best.
Thank you so much for the advice, I have thought of adoption but that is also a huge step and decision to make. We'll see in time what my motherly instinct tells me and if I feel like I am ready to have another child. Meanwhile, I am happy and so is my son. Thank you so much!
1 person likes this
@popciclecold (39637)
• United States
26 May 18
Live your life for you and your son, no matter what other people say.
1 person likes this
@AnnieY (210)
• Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico
26 May 18
Yes sir, I love my son and doing my best to raise him right. I also know that it is hard to keep people happy XD
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
26 May 18
Your son sounds very happy and you are an excellent parent to him. You don't have to have a brother or sister for him unless it suits your family. It is best to not listen to others which say for you to have another baby. I know a lady that has a daughter in my little girl's class. Then she had two sons followed by twin girls. Yes, she is 30 years old with 5 children which she doesn't have enough space for. Very often having another child means a person will have to move to a bigger and more expensive home. My sister has a friend who grow up as an only child. She has always been a wonderful person and wasn't spoiled at all.
1 person likes this
@AnnieY (210)
• Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico
26 May 18
Aww, I love to know this because I do constantly think about it but honestly, I am happy with just my boy and I and yes, I really wouldn't like to bring another child to this world until I feel I'm ready, finally, emotionally etc. Thank you so much for sharing this with me :)
@caopaopao (12395)
• China
26 May 18
You have your own choice. I only have one daughter, I'm not going to have a second baby. My daughter is happy, and we are all happy, that's enough.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67080)
• United States
26 May 18
Wouls it be nice for all kids to have siblings to grow up with and be bestfriends to.. yes. Does not having siblings make kids a certain way? No. The way a parent raises the kids, and the way others around them act, is what makes a child act a way they do.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (26802)
• Singapore
30 May 18
I know what you go through.
My son was born after fourteen years of our marriage and we chose not to have another child as age was against us.
I do agree that it is preferable to give a child the company of a brother or sister but we have to be realistic.
My son is 27 now and he is doing well though he might have been spoiled due to our overindulgence in his early childhood - siva
1 person likes this
@AnnieY (210)
• Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico
31 May 18
Yeah, I'll be honest I do sometimes think of having another child but that implies more than just a simple decision, I must do a lot of thinking and must feel sure that both my children will not have to need anything plus, the whole finding the right future father again, for me, is kind of not a near future plan. But I am glad your son is doing well I bet you are great parents. Thank you for sharing this with me
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (120384)
• United States
25 May 18
I wouldn't worry about it. As long as you are showing him plenty of love and raising him to be a polite, social person, he will be fine in life. My coworker is/was an only child and she definitely has some spoiled behaviors that can be traced back to being an only child. . . but I also trace that directly back to her parents.
1 person likes this
@AnnieY (210)
• Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico
26 May 18
Yes, I have also known of a couple only children (adults now) that have kinda like bully personalities but I've also met other bullies that grew up with younger or older siblings so that's why I believe it mostly depends on doing our best to raise decent human beings.
1 person likes this
@AnnieY (210)
• Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico
26 May 18
Thank you Lynn. Something I do know is that for a child his age, he is not even 4 yet, he is very independent, he eats on his own, he pours water on his cup and when he spills something he goes for the mop or rag on his own to clean, he's very independent. You are so right. Thank you!!!
@rubyriaz007 (4188)
• India
23 Jun 18
I don't there is any problem in having a single child. There are many couples who have only one child.Some couple don't have children at all. That is also God's decision. I feel you are luckier than these childless couples. You can also give a company to your child. You can be his friend,play with him, spent time with him and make him happy.
