It will be a bittersweet Christmas Eve
By Judy Evans
@JudyEv (342277)
Rockingham, Australia
December 21, 2018 12:01am CST
Christmas is getting closer all the time and tomorrow we’ll travel three hours to my sister’s. We are staying two nights and I have promised myself that I’ll get up each morning at 5 am to help her bottle-feed the goats. I believe there are now only 33 kids to feed instead of 46 so that is at least an improvement. Vince will take his electric drill and we’ll install some picture rails for her in her new house. Several of her sons will be there too.
On Sunday we have been invited to an ‘open house’. We will only go for about an hour as we have another commitment after. The couple are good friends and very supportive of our house concerts. They regularly buy ten tickets and collect the money to save us the trouble.
Now the wife has been diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas and it has spread to her liver. This is a very aggressive cancer and her days are surely very limited. The open house gives all her friends a chance to pop in and - well, what can you say here? Say hello? Goodbye? Commiserate? Wish her well? Wish her a Merry Christmas? I don’t think so.
The invitation says they’ll be cooking several big roasts, to bring something to share if you wish, arrange to camp there if you want, bring musical instruments if you play. There will be food, music, laughter and happy faces but inside hearts will be aching and breaking with the pain of it all.
28 people like this
31 responses
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
21 Dec 18
I don't know her personally but am feeling down. That is a dreaded disease.
Wishing you all comfort during the open house
3 people like this
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
21 Dec 18
@JudyEv That's the sentence I wrote down..The couple must be very courageous in my response but then deleted it because coming from a stranger it suddenly seemed too presumptuous on my part.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (342277)
• Rockingham, Australia
21 Dec 18
@responsiveme I know what you're saying. Sometimes anything seems trite and airy-fairy (or presumptuous). It sometimes seems there is nothing much to say that can possibly help but it's okay.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (182384)
• United States
21 Dec 18
That is a sad thing, but I am sure you will bring comfort to someone who is doing what they love the most with the people she loves in her final days.
2 people like this
@arthurchappell (44998)
• Preston, England
21 Dec 18
sounds like a spectacular Christmas awaits - sad that the lady of the house has cancer. Hope the friendship will makewhat could be her last Xmas go as wonderfully as possible for all of you
2 people like this
@arthurchappell (44998)
• Preston, England
21 Dec 18
@JudyEv I don't doubt it - hope you all have a fabulous day
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
21 Dec 18
i like their open house idea. it's like a reunion, celebration, picnic, camp, potluck and festival all rolled into one. i think some tears cannot be avoided, and it's okay to let it, but at the same time, everyone, hosts and visitors, will try to make the most of that time.
2 people like this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
25 Dec 18
This reminds me of the husband of my wife's client. He knew that it was time for him to go and a week before he passed, he had his wife invite all his friends over to their house for some sort of "farewell" party for him. Though he lay in bed, there was merrymaking as he wanted it to be a happy occasion for him, his wife and their friends. Indeed, there was much fund and laughter. A week after, he passed away and I'm sure he went with joy in his heart. Merry Christmas Judy and Vince!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (342277)
• Rockingham, Australia
25 Dec 18
And a very merry Christmas to you too! I hope you have a lovely day. And I think it is quite a good idea to have a party of this sort if you are able. There was a big group assembling at her home last night and I'm glad we went although we weren't able to stay for too long.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (342277)
• Rockingham, Australia
26 Dec 18
@sunrisefan Yes, that is all we can do to support them.
1 person likes this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
25 Dec 18
@JudyEv Your presence, long or short, is enough I guess to let them know you care.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72288)
• United States
21 Dec 18
The open house sounds absolutely awesome but such a sad occasion with he wife having pancreatic cancer. I have heard that’s one of the most painful ones 
It must take hours to bottle feed all the baby goats! Then again for lunch and dinner or however often they have to be fed wow seems like that’s all she would wind up dojng all day.
It must take hours to bottle feed all the baby goats! Then again for lunch and dinner or however often they have to be fed wow seems like that’s all she would wind up dojng all day.1 person likes this
@JudyEv (342277)
• Rockingham, Australia
21 Dec 18
This cancer can't be cured and is very rarely even slowed down.
It used to take two hours night and morning to feed the baby goats but the newborn ones would be fed more often. I think there are some does due to kid around this time so who knows? There might be a little kid to welcome in Christmas morning.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (342277)
• Rockingham, Australia
25 Dec 18
@shaggin It's a very sensible question and there are several reasons. Firstly the does give too much milk usually for their kids and when the does are show goats they need to be milked out properly. Secondly if the kids aren't hand-reared they are much harder to tame and make quiet which leads to problems later when trying to do anything with them as you have to run them down first.
1 person likes this
@xstitcher (32733)
• Petaluma, California
24 Dec 18
So sad. My Dad passed the same way.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (342277)
• Rockingham, Australia
25 Dec 18
I'm sorry for your loss. It is a very nasty cancer.
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
22 Dec 18
Oh, Judy, I am sorry to hear that about your friend. It will indeed be bittersweet.
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Dec 18
@JudyEv That part is always a mystery.
1 person likes this
@sueznewz2 (10409)
• Alicante, Spain
29 Dec 18
Ohhh dear ...not good news...I feel for you, your friend and her family.... It sounds like she has a good attitude And I pray that that, and strength courage and peace will be with her, and her nearest and dearest.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21852)
• Canada
23 Dec 18
Such a sad thing to have a friend dying, It sounds like they want to have fun and that is better than being sad. Once they know there is nothing that will help, they should enjoy every moment and every tear.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (35778)
•
24 Dec 18
No matter how dark the moment, the support of friends and family are a comfort....
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (87854)
• Bangalore, India
21 Dec 18
This is a dreadful disease but I admire the couple's spirit to have an open house. It is good way to say Goodbye happily. But I am still not sure how I feel about it and how comfortable the invited guests would be. For sure it is not pleasant but I hope everyone has something special to share and make her last few days happy for her. I can only pray for strength to all.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (87854)
• Bangalore, India
22 Dec 18
@JudyEv I hope that they all feel comfortable and make it a sweet memorable one.
1 person likes this
