Brits and Americans - Vive La Difference
By Jabo
@jaboUK (64354)
United Kingdom
October 31, 2019 10:59am CST
To all of you 'over the pond'
(of whom I am really so fond)
with words let's have fun
and when I am done
I hope I won't have to abscond. 
Some phrases don't show our intent
and mean things that we'd never dreamt
if you knock me up
you're waking me up
and not what you thought that I meant. 
Your spelling is different too
for what has that 'u' done to you?
it's colour and favour
not color and favor
it all seems to me quite askew.
Words often sound strange to my ear
an apartment's a flat over here,
our draughts are your checkers
our jumpers your sweaters
and to call trainers sneakers is queer.
And how about terms for the car
for here things can differ by far,
your trunk is our boot
and - more of a hoot -
our bonnet's your hood - quite bizarre.
The list is quite varied and long,
to call biscuits cookies seems wrong
and you use a sidewalk
that's not British talk
a pavement is what we walk on.
You wait in a line, but I queue,
our torch is a flashlight to you
your faucet's our tap
our petrol's your gas,
it's so easy to misconstrue
You go out in pants and a vest
to us that's not properly dressed
we'd feel very bare
as that's underwear
and charges would likely be pressed. 
You know my home's on the first floor
so you come to knock on my door
but we'll never meet
we won't hug and greet
as you will be on our ground floor.
So now that I'm finished and done
I hope that offence there was none
it's not a critique
my tongue's in my cheek
I hope you'll agree it was fun. 
Photo is of flowers in my English garden.
Some phrases don't show our intent
and mean things that we'd never dreamt
if you knock me up
you're waking me up
and not what you thought that I meant.
Your spelling is different too
for what has that 'u' done to you?
it's colour and favour
not color and favor
it all seems to me quite askew.
Words often sound strange to my ear
an apartment's a flat over here,
our draughts are your checkers
our jumpers your sweaters
and to call trainers sneakers is queer.
And how about terms for the car
for here things can differ by far,
your trunk is our boot
and - more of a hoot -
our bonnet's your hood - quite bizarre.
The list is quite varied and long,
to call biscuits cookies seems wrong
and you use a sidewalk
that's not British talk
a pavement is what we walk on.
You wait in a line, but I queue,
our torch is a flashlight to you
your faucet's our tap
our petrol's your gas,
it's so easy to misconstrue
You go out in pants and a vest
to us that's not properly dressed
we'd feel very bare
as that's underwear
and charges would likely be pressed.
You know my home's on the first floor
so you come to knock on my door
but we'll never meet
we won't hug and greet
as you will be on our ground floor.
So now that I'm finished and done
I hope that offence there was none
it's not a critique
my tongue's in my cheek
I hope you'll agree it was fun.
Photo is of flowers in my English garden.47 people like this
49 responses
@LadyDuck (472004)
• Switzerland
31 Oct 19
This is great Janet. If you are sometimes confused, imagine a poor "non English" speaker who learnt (not learned) English (not American) in school. The first time I arrived in an American airport and I went to the counter to ask a question I thought they were speaking a totally different language.
11 people like this
@vandana7 (100540)
• India
31 Oct 19
We end up with a blend of both varieties not knowing what is what. When we were young, we were told ..when somebody says how do you do, you should reply fine thank you. Now it is, how do you do, ..I am good, how about you? Certifying self as "good"...whatever..
7 people like this
@Marilynda1225 (83074)
• United States
31 Oct 19
I love this!!!! the differences made me smile as you so aptly put it into prose
Your talent continues!!
6 people like this
@RasmaSandra (80659)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
1 Nov 19
Lovely flowers, Enjoyed your poem, The differences are not all that bad but you do have to be careful especially when it comes down to slang terms and some others that could be interpreted wrong, I remember ages ago back in NYC I was having lunch with a friend when there was a commotion at the next table, I guy with a strong British accent was demanding to have bangers, The waiter thought he was mad and wanted to pound him, Luckily my friend and I understood the problem and .after all of us the British gentleman, the waiter, my friend and me stopped laughing he got his sausages and steak fries,
4 people like this
@RasmaSandra (80659)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
4 Nov 19
@jaboUK well specifically you don't ask for mash but for mashed potatoes
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
31 Oct 19
Very funny and true. There are some very odd differences in our language although we are supposedly Speaking the same language.Lordy if we were told to go out in pants and vest we would either be arrested or carted off to the nearest asylum. Even worse are regional variations within each country no wonder we are confused.
The trouble is these days there are so many American programmes on our televisions the younger generation find it so easy to pick up and use American speak.
We won't even touch on pronunciation. That is something that leaves me howling with laughter!
Example Leicester Square. British English (Lester square) American English ( Liecester square).
Despite our differences we do love our American friends!
Well done on putting it together in poem form.
5 people like this
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
31 Oct 19
@jaboUK English is a very peculiar language indeed and has many nuances!
4 people like this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
31 Oct 19
You've surpassed yourself with this one Janet.
There were tears rolling down my cheeks at the 'pants and vest' verse. Took me a good 10 minutes to regain control.
That's going to be one of those that'll keep popping into my head and start me laughing. Probably at the most inappropriate times.
3 people like this
@andriaperry (117133)
• Anniston, Alabama
1 Nov 19
Yes there is a difference and that makes us all special.
3 people like this
@gofsey (1911)
• Madurai, India
1 Nov 19
Quite a humorous way of comparing the usage of the English language. I enjoyed going through it and seeing it from the perspective of an Englishman (if I may call you that!) because in India things are different. Our regional languages dictate the usage and the grammar which might be pretty confusing at times. 
Wonderful reading. 
Thanks Vanny for suggesting. Wouldn't have missed it for anything. 
Wonderful reading. Thanks Vanny for suggesting. Wouldn't have missed it for anything. 3 people like this
@gofsey (1911)
• Madurai, India
1 Nov 19
@jaboUK Never thought I would see the day a woman would stand up for her rights!! You may drive on the wrong side of the road
but then I guess it is the right (pun intended) side after all. Here in India it is pretty much the same scenario. And, your garden is lovely!
Never thought I would see the day a woman would stand up for her rights!! You may drive on the wrong side of the road but then I guess it is the right (pun intended) side after all. Here in India it is pretty much the same scenario. And, your garden is lovely!3 people like this
@crossbones27 (49703)
• Mojave, California
1 Nov 19
Don't you know everything we do is to rebel against Brits. Till this day. Why we cannot have healthcare for all why only capitalism can be our economic structure. It does not matter if it does not make sense or does not work. We have to be Americans just so we different from that 1700's King. To bad its 2019 and frustrating as all hell to have to watch such easy commonsense ideas go by the wayside because that is what Brits do and some say that is what Europe does. It is so dumb.
To bad its 2019 and frustrating as all hell to have to watch such easy commonsense ideas go by the wayside because that is what Brits do and some say that is what Europe does. It is so dumb.2 people like this
@crossbones27 (49703)
• Mojave, California
1 Nov 19
@jaboUK Indeed, and never been big on that proper thing comes off as a bit snobby with all do respect. One thing I like about this place is sometimes it cool to be the underdog. Not held up to this standard that you have no intention of meeting.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
1 Nov 19
@crossbones27 Agreed, we can do our own thing, we don't have to conform.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
31 Oct 19
Lovely little poem Jabo. Yep different to the maximum.
3 people like this
@1creekgirl (41692)
• United States
31 Oct 19
That is hilarious! And so true. I love the pants and vest line.
3 people like this
