Investigate Before?

I can see investigating online, like with one of those paid for background checks, just to find out if the person was honest about their basic information. Like are they married? lol But I can't see going to far as to hire an investigator. Maybe if I was really rich...

Only if I thought something was wrong. Love is blind.

Yes it is best to be very investigative of any love interest. It would pay off.

I didn't have either one of my ex-wives investigated before marrying them. I probably wouldn't have another one investigated if I ever get married again, either. (I'd feel silly paying to have someone investigated, but that's just me.)

I would not. I tend to get to know people pretty well before I get into a "deep" relationship. But I've been "fooled" a bit before as well. I dated a woman with something called "borderline personality disorder" years ago and the results were not good in the end. Fortunately, I did not marry her. I'd be broke!

There was a time when I may have said no. But we are living in very different times—so it may be a wise decision nowadays as much as even a prenuptial agreement is when your significant other is entering the relationship with significantly less assets. That being said, I have to say that if I found out my wife did a background check on me or hired a private investigator, it would probably be a deal breaker for me, and probably the end of our relationship. I say that because trust is such an important part of a relationship, this act would break trust in a very significant way. So, in summary, I would say it is a really huge gray area.

Oh that's a hard one to answer. It would depend on how long I had known then, my feelings or instincts, etc.

I would if I had any concerns about the person being straight with me. You can never really be too careful especially if you have a lot to lose.

I did not investigate my husband. Should I had thought he had something to hide, I would not even started a relationship.

I doubt I would hire a Private Investigator but I certainly would do a background check myself and ask a lot of questions.

Maybe in these days with all the tech it would be easy to investigate a potential partner.

I doubt I would have done that but I guess it depends on how much you know about your partner and his background, family, friends, etc.

That looks like a good idea but it would also hurt if the person finds out. It will look like you don't trust them, and they can break up with you because of that. Also if the investigator sends you false evidence maybe he is talking with a girl about something other from love and the investigator takes some photos that looks like something was going one between them it is a bad and good idea.

When I was young, I would not have. But now that I am older, if I become a widow, I probably would. Or I would at least do my own investigating online. But I honestly don't think I will be getting into a permanent relationship again after this so it's a moot point for me personaly. I think it's a good idea for others who are in the situation you describe in this day and age. There are too many crazies out there nowadays!

Hmm I live where everyone knows everyone else. If that weren’t the case that might be a good idea. I’m sorry you didn’t do that before

I don't think I would. I knew what I was getting into when I got married or thought I did. People change. An investigation before I married wouldn't have turned up anything that I didn't already know.