Investigate Before?
By Kandase
@Kandae11 (54677)
January 22, 2022 7:29pm CST
Suppose there is a special someone you have been seeing for awhile , and you are thinking of a permanent relationship, would you hire a Private Investigator to check him or her out?.
Had l done that before my marriage (that was a long time ago) -I would have saved myself heaps of trouble. So much was uncovered afterwards.
Would you investigate before?
Pixabay image
16 people like this
16 responses
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 Jan 22
I can see investigating online, like with one of those paid for background checks, just to find out if the person was honest about their basic information. Like are they married? lol But I can't see going to far as to hire an investigator. Maybe if I was really rich...
4 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (88351)
• Arvada, Colorado
24 Jan 22
Yes it is best to be very investigative of any love interest. It would pay off.
1 person likes this
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@RebeccasFarm (88351)
• Arvada, Colorado
24 Jan 22
@Kandae11 And me too, but I was so young, and did not have any idea about it.
@Kandae11 (54677)
•
24 Jan 22
@RebeccasFarm. Same here. These days with the availability of Facebook etc, everything is much easier .
1 person likes this
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@DaddyEvil (137232)
• United States
23 Jan 22
I didn't have either one of my ex-wives investigated before marrying them. I probably wouldn't have another one investigated if I ever get married again, either. (I'd feel silly paying to have someone investigated, but that's just me.)
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137232)
• United States
23 Jan 22
@Kandae11 I've had two ex-wives. I was the fourth husband to my first wife (She is Pretty's mom.) and the third husband to my second wife.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
26 Jan 22
I would not. I tend to get to know people pretty well before I get into a "deep" relationship. But I've been "fooled" a bit before as well. I dated a woman with something called "borderline personality disorder" years ago and the results were not good in the end. Fortunately, I did not marry her. I'd be broke!
1 person likes this
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@porwest (85053)
• United States
26 Jan 22
There was a time when I may have said no. But we are living in very different times—so it may be a wise decision nowadays as much as even a prenuptial agreement is when your significant other is entering the relationship with significantly less assets.
That being said, I have to say that if I found out my wife did a background check on me or hired a private investigator, it would probably be a deal breaker for me, and probably the end of our relationship. I say that because trust is such an important part of a relationship, this act would break trust in a very significant way.
So, in summary, I would say it is a really huge gray area.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (54677)
•
26 Jan 22
Trust is crucial in any relationship but personally l would prefer to - err on the side of caution - , and hope he doesn't find out. There are wolves in sheep clothing out there. Because l did no background check l had to leave a country and a very prestigious job to escape him.
I suppose people sign prenups not because they are expecting to divorce, but because they know how people tend to change.
1 person likes this
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@snowy22315 (176745)
• United States
23 Jan 22
I would if I had any concerns about the person being straight with me. You can never really be too careful especially if you have a lot to lose.
1 person likes this
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@Marilynda1225 (81807)
• United States
24 Jan 22
I doubt I would hire a Private Investigator but I certainly would do a background check myself and ask a lot of questions.
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10743)
• Canada
7 Feb 22
Maybe in these days with all the tech it would be easy to investigate a potential partner.
1 person likes this
@Hildasalom (954)
• Nairobi, Kenya
21 Apr 22
That looks like a good idea but it would also hurt if the person finds out. It will look like you don't trust them, and they can break up with you because of that. Also if the investigator sends you false evidence maybe he is talking with a girl about something other from love and the investigator takes some photos that looks like something was going one between them it is a bad and good idea.
1 person likes this
@Hildasalom (954)
• Nairobi, Kenya
21 Apr 22
@Kandae11 What if your partner finds out and gets mad breaks up with you but he hasn't cheated?
@Kouponkaren (5503)
• United States
23 Jan 22
When I was young, I would not have. But now that I am older, if I become a widow, I probably would. Or I would at least do my own investigating online. But I honestly don't think I will be getting into a permanent relationship again after this so it's a moot point for me personaly. I think it's a good idea for others who are in the situation you describe in this day and age. There are too many crazies out there nowadays!
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71909)
• United States
31 Jan 22
Hmm I live where everyone knows everyone else. If that weren’t the case that might be a good idea. I’m sorry you didn’t do that before ![](/Content/images/emotes/sad.gif)
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@just4him (317038)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
24 Jan 22
I don't think I would. I knew what I was getting into when I got married or thought I did. People change. An investigation before I married wouldn't have turned up anything that I didn't already know.
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