Introverted or Lonely?

@sammyy (527)
India
February 5, 2022 12:32am CST
My brother is an introvert. He has friends but doesn't like having company. Everyday he is busy working, and when he is not working, he's either gaming or watching some anime. And simply enjoys his own company. And I know there is nothing wrong with that, I do too. But he's just 23 years old, unmarried and I fear over the time, he would become lonely. Many a times he ignores calls from friends, either because he is working or gaming. I think I'm his only best friend. One person he doesn't ignore. But I can't always be with him because I'm married and my family has my attention most of the time. I feel guilty for leaving him alone. But he says he doesn't have any hard feelings about that. I still wish he finds joy in human interaction, finds love around him. I feel he doesn't really know love. Tell me what do I do? How do I make him more social? I do advice him everytime we meet, sometimes he takes my advice but most of the time he forgets it the very next day. I really hope solitude doesn't become his life in future.
10 people like this
12 responses
@Janet357 (75646)
5 Feb 22
believe it or not, he is not lonely. he enjoys the company of himself. i am like that too. i just want to make the most of my time. party is a boring thing to me. but hey i got married at 34.
4 people like this
@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
True! I got married at 29...but I just worry for him, it could be nothing!
@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
@Kandae11 I hope you are right!
@Kandae11 (55035)
5 Feb 22
I agree with@Janet357.He is only 23, he still has time to grow out of it.Right now he is happy doing what he does.
2 people like this
@Sojourn (13837)
• India
5 Feb 22
You are almost telling my story.I can tell you from my experience, we like to have meaningful and deep friendships. And too many friends unsettles our inner peace. We have low threshold for sensory overload.
2 people like this
@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
I get it! But even the few friends he had, he doesn't maintain..
1 person likes this
@sammyy (527)
• India
6 Feb 22
@Sojourn nothing secretive...just gaming
@Sojourn (13837)
• India
5 Feb 22
@sammyy Most likely he didn't find anything meaningful with those friends, so he is avoiding them. Only watch out if he is indulging in any secretive thing in solitude, otherwise I guess its okay.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (139937)
• Philippines
5 Feb 22
I used to be an introvert. I broke free because I need to explore the world. Now, I am an ambivert.
1 person likes this
@askme123 (6150)
5 Feb 22
What is the difference between ambivert and extrovert?
1 person likes this
@sammyy (527)
• India
6 Feb 22
@askme123 I suppose extroverts talk and socialize all the time no matter the situation or mood. I'm that! But ambivert is someone who is friendly when needed and quiet other times..
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@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
Nice! That gives me hope... Thank you
@RebeccasFarm (89873)
• Arvada, Colorado
5 Feb 22
I understand a bit of what you are feeling. People are what they are in life...change may not be up to you. It sounds like this is his nature and what he is most happy doing..just having fun with himself. I know someone just like that. I worry too, but there it is out of my control on how to fix it.
1 person likes this
• Arvada, Colorado
5 Feb 22
@sammyy Yes, but I know how this can be distressing. You see that the person seems isolated. And may wind up very alone.
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@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
Yeah! I feel that..
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@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
@RebeccasFarm in the end, I can always try to be there for him..
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (340216)
• Rockingham, Australia
5 Feb 22
I guess if it doesn't bother him, then you should just let him be.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (340216)
• Rockingham, Australia
5 Feb 22
@sammyy Oh okay so that is a little bit of a problem - or at least a shame. But if he doesn't want to do anything about it then I think you are a bit stuck.
1 person likes this
@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
1 person likes this
@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
Okayy... But it does make him socially awkward and he can't have a conversation of more than 5 minutes even with our grandad or aunt.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
5 Feb 22
He's not lonely. I'm an antisocial introvert, while my husband is an extrovert and my husband thinks there's something wrong with me, while I think there's something wrong with him. You shouldn't try to make him more social. Introverts still get married and have careers and lead normal lives, we just don't have the energy or the mood or need to deal with a lot of people. A lot of geniuses and artists do their finest work when they're isolated from the world.
2 people like this
@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
That's what my brother says.. interaction feels like too much effort
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@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
1 person likes this
• Portugal
5 Feb 22
@sammyy whenever my husband invites someone over for dinner, I genuinely need a week to rest and recover.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
5 Feb 22
There is nothing to worry, he will enjoy the company of some one when he feels and at the right time. Our priorities changes after some time. He too will change his priorities soon.
1 person likes this
@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
Amen
• Philippines
5 Feb 22
With the pandemic going on, I dont think you can force him. Some people just chose not getting socialize, let alone marriage.SOmething they need to do it on their own.
1 person likes this
@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
Marriage is not on his plan for the next 8 to 10 years and no problem with that! But what if by then he becomes totally withdrawn and does not have good and connected relationships
@askme123 (6150)
5 Feb 22
Take him out to social events where he can meet females when the pandemic is over.
1 person likes this
@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
Oh he totally hates social events and only attends one if necessary, and even when there he keeps to himself
1 person likes this
@askme123 (6150)
5 Feb 22
@sammyy He is still at a tender age.Give him time to mature some more
1 person likes this
@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
@askme123 okay, that's only fair!
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121604)
• Gainesville, Florida
5 Feb 22
Your brother sounds exactly like my brother. He has been that way since his younger 20s. He's now in his 50s and is what I call a hermit. I've tried over the decades to help him be more social, but I think he is happiest just being by himself. Perhaps your brother is the same way.
1 person likes this
@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
Maybe, that could be the case too..
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
5 Feb 22
Time will come for him to go out of his comfort zone
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@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
Amen to that
• Nairobi, Kenya
5 Feb 22
Give him another two years. Maybe as he gets older, he'll understand what you mean
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@sammyy (527)
• India
5 Feb 22
Maybe! Hopefully...
2 people like this