Finally # 5 husband
By bonnie
@bunnybon7 (50973)
Holiday, Florida
March 26, 2022 7:43am CST
I am finally going to try and make this post about this wonderful last husband. The most perfect man (for me) and my soul mate. I have no idea why I had to wait so late in life to find this one after 4 bad marriages and why God took him from me so soon, after only 8 yrs of marriage.
In ' 94, my mom left my ex and moved back to Arizona where I was living with a friend and we had made up and since she had my youngest son with her, we decided to move in together to share resources.
I had joined this phone service for dating. I had no intention of ever trying marriage again. 
I had recently started talking many hours with John on the phone. I could tell right away he was a really nice guy. because he was divorced but never ever talked bad things about his ex like the other divorced men I had dated. After 2 weeks we decided to meet. For safety sake I always had mom check out what kind of vehicle picked me up etc. I was surprised he came to the door and introduced himself to mom just as though I was still a young teen. 
Also that he was not my usual type. He took me to his house to watch a movie he had rented and fixed me dinner. He was the funniest man I'd ever dated and possibly the most intelligent.
To make a long story shorter, he was my perfect man. After 3 months of dating him, mom wanted to go back to Ohio but I wanted to stay. My son said grandma needed him so he went with her. She was going back to his dad anyway. "sigh"
John suggested I move in with him. He had an extra bedroom and even an extra car I could use 
so I could keep my job.
Of course I never used the extra bedroom.
Eventually he talked me in to marrying him for several reasons. I used to tell him he was perfect and he would say "Don't say that. You know what happened to the last perfect man!"
I often wonder now if he was right and I should not have said it. 8 yrs. later, he died with cancer. 
Wouldn't you know, I finally got it right and he was the first one to die.
So there you have it. My final entry of the husband series.
Any questions or thoughts?
Thanks for reading. I know it was long.
I had recently started talking many hours with John on the phone. I could tell right away he was a really nice guy. because he was divorced but never ever talked bad things about his ex like the other divorced men I had dated. After 2 weeks we decided to meet. For safety sake I always had mom check out what kind of vehicle picked me up etc. I was surprised he came to the door and introduced himself to mom just as though I was still a young teen. Also that he was not my usual type. He took me to his house to watch a movie he had rented and fixed me dinner. He was the funniest man I'd ever dated and possibly the most intelligent.
To make a long story shorter, he was my perfect man. After 3 months of dating him, mom wanted to go back to Ohio but I wanted to stay. My son said grandma needed him so he went with her. She was going back to his dad anyway. "sigh"
John suggested I move in with him. He had an extra bedroom and even an extra car I could use so I could keep my job.
Of course I never used the extra bedroom. Eventually he talked me in to marrying him for several reasons. I used to tell him he was perfect and he would say "Don't say that. You know what happened to the last perfect man!"
I often wonder now if he was right and I should not have said it. 8 yrs. later, he died with cancer.
Wouldn't you know, I finally got it right and he was the first one to die.
So there you have it. My final entry of the husband series.
Any questions or thoughts?
Thanks for reading. I know it was long.26 people like this
22 responses
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
26 Mar 22
Thank you. That has to be the only good explanation. I know I nearly lost my faith because I prayed for a miracle the whole time but God took him any way. Now I am keeping the faith in hopes of being with him some day again.
6 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137695)
• United States
26 Mar 22
Nope. No questions. I feel like we've talked about him enough that I know him, too.
I tell stories about my two ex-wives but I promise, they're the truth. If not for my kids, I'd wish I'd never met them. *shrug* So I'm not the "perfect" man. I'm just a man who tries hard.
3 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
26 Mar 22
you seem to be doing an excellent job.
When I was dating other men just before John, they spent most of their time talking about their ex's. Even comparing out loud to me. 
I wasn't there to compete,nor comfort them.It was most annoying. Others could do that. I was there to enjoy a relaxing fun time and just get to know them. Even during our marriage, John seldom mentioned his ex. I had to draw any information out of him It was like a clean slate. I often wondered how a woman could let such a man go. Had he been so different with them or was it that they didn't realize how lucky they were. Yes, he actually had 2 ex's.
When I was dating other men just before John, they spent most of their time talking about their ex's. Even comparing out loud to me. I wasn't there to compete,nor comfort them.It was most annoying. Others could do that. I was there to enjoy a relaxing fun time and just get to know them. Even during our marriage, John seldom mentioned his ex. I had to draw any information out of him It was like a clean slate. I often wondered how a woman could let such a man go. Had he been so different with them or was it that they didn't realize how lucky they were. Yes, he actually had 2 ex's.3 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
26 Mar 22
@DaddyEvil I guess that's how John looked at it. He was married first time 12 yrs. But I think the Viet Nam war he was in took it's toll on their marriage. I eventually heard from a friend that she cheated and he left.
The second one was partly his fault because he didn't want more kids and had told her before marriage he didn't, but she changed her mind after 6 yrs. At least that's what he told me. She left because of that.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137695)
• United States
26 Mar 22
@bunnybon7 A man can learn what to do and not to do after he's been married that could help him with the way he acts in his next marriage. (I was married to my first wife for seven years and my second wife for seven months.) But it takes two to make a marriage work. *shrug*
I never compared my second wife to my first. What would be the point of that? She's not the same person.
3 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
26 Mar 22
So happy that you met the one who was your soulmate. Saddens me that he passed so soon.
Remember the love you shared and how true it was. He will be there waiting for you with open arms when it is your time.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
26 Mar 22
Thank you. I do believe that too.
2 people like this
@shaggin (72288)
• United States
26 Mar 22
What a gentleman that he came to the door and met your mom.
So great you were able to make up with your mom I doubt I could do that!
Gosh that’s so crazy your son had to deal with living with his grandma and his father dating wow.
I really enjoyed this series of posts. Thanks @Gillygirl for showing me she posted another and final one in this husband series.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
26 Mar 22
I think that's why my life has been so interesting. I tend to forgive people for things and give them excuses in my mind for why they did certain things and this being my mom of course most forgive their mom anything done. I'm glad I finally gave people something interesting to read. Be it sad though but true.
3 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
27 Mar 22
@askme123 it is very crazy, but then my whole life has been strange to say the least. It has certainly been an experience 
2 people like this
@askme123 (6226)
•
27 Mar 22
@bunnybon7 Your Mom should never ever date your ex though.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (55175)
•
27 Mar 22
You finally got it right and it lasted only eight years - that is the way life goes . Still, be thankful for those years and l hope he did not suffer too much.
Something l am not too clear about. Your youngest son who is living with your mother, is he the son of your ex who your mother was living with?
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Mar 22
yes. I know it's confusing. As these things happened over 20 yrs ago. All my kids are grown now. My mom passed away, in 2001 and my 5th husband passed 2002. I am 74 yrs old now and just telling friends here all about my late last hubby, I'm always mentioning on here.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (55175)
•
29 Mar 22
@bunnybon7 Yes that was sometime ago . Thank you for sharing.
2 people like this
@annabanana20 (96)
•
27 Mar 22
im so sorry for your lost dear.. please be strong godbless you.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Mar 22
thank you . How sweet you are. Bless you too dear. 
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Mar 22
why do you only have one post on your profile ?
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
29 Mar 22
Wow-what a story you have getting into 4 bad marriages and 1 good one. I would say a few people like you would have experienced that. But I am glad you found the one that would make you happy and sad that you lost him when you are just enjoying it. It's hard to know the reasons why but just be grateful that you found him just in time before he left. I guess those good memories are what is left for you to enjoy things.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Mar 22
thank you. Yes I wanted my friends here to understand why I talk about him so much.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63643)
• United States
27 Mar 22
IF you think that is long, read some of mine...
If you think 8 years is short, try 5 and a half. Mind you, I didn't marry my wife for all the normal reasons, but I married her for many good reasons.
The kicker is that she was 7 years younger than I am.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63643)
• United States
30 Mar 22
@bunnybon7 I miss her. Sometimes I look up at her ashes and tell her something. Those are the kinds of things I might've texted her or actually walked myself in and told her in person. People are kind of pushing me to do something with her ashes, but right now I need to wait. The sole member of her family she would want to see, well, him and his lovely family, can't come until June at the earliest, so I need to wait until after he comes.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Mar 22
@ElicBxn I so understand. It's been over 20 yrs since he passed and I still have his ashes. I also find comfort in keeping them and used to talk to him (the urn) for a while.
I so understand. It's been over 20 yrs since he passed and I still have his ashes. I also find comfort in keeping them and used to talk to him (the urn) for a while. 1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Mar 22
I am so sorry. You are right. It seems no matter how bad things have happened to you or how bad they are you can always find some one with worse circumstances or have had worse happen. I so wish you could have had your soul mate much longer.
1 person likes this
@divalounger (6118)
• United States
1 Apr 22
Love and loss--I am sorry for the loss--
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Apr 22
thank you. been 20 yrs. So it's a bit better.
1 person likes this
@divalounger (6118)
• United States
2 Apr 22
@bunnybon7 Time can blunt things which is helpful in continuing after a big loss--
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (90481)
• Arvada, Colorado
26 Mar 22
I am so sorry you lost this precious man RIP
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
26 Mar 22
thank you dear friend. We do loose a lot of precious people in our life. I hope to see him again once it's over for me.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Mar 22
Never. I am 74 yrs old and no longer have any interest to remarry. Never be another John. 1 person likes this
@askme123 (6226)
•
31 Mar 22
@bunnybon7 True.Not wise to take on any new stress at this time.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (30541)
• United Kingdom
30 Mar 22
Thanks to @Gillygirl for suggesting this; I had to go back and look for the others so I could read about the preceding four!
I hope that it really was 'better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' as Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote in his poem 'In Memoriam'
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Mar 22
thank you. I really wish I had met him first or gotten my choice right at first and not faced all this pain and hard life I've had in the mean time.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (30541)
• United Kingdom
30 Mar 22
@bunnybon7 Unfortunately experience is what you get after you need it
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Mar 22
thank you. So true. He made that part of my life like a fairy tale love.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160996)
• United States
26 Mar 22
Bonnie I am glad you got at least 8 good years.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
26 Mar 22
thank you. My oldest son says I should be thankful cause lots of people never have that kind of love their whole life.
@snowy22315 (182344)
• United States
27 Mar 22
Ohh that is sad, you finally got it right, and didn't get to have much time with him. Life is like that sometimes I guess.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
27 Mar 22
Mine has always been like that. Everything has been ironic
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
27 Mar 22
my son says I was lucky because most people never have a love like that.
1 person likes this
@Virtually2021 (828)
• Southend-On-Sea, England
26 Mar 22
Ok that's really sad to hear :(
1 person likes this
