I Feel Kind of Bad for the Kid

@porwest (90937)
United States
April 19, 2022 6:36pm CST
I am not a racist. I bring that up because I get labeled as one all the time because I happen to be white and I am a republican. By the way, it is NOT a racist party. But that's for another day. My mother called me to warn me. We live in a predominantly white neighborhood even though the neighbors to the right of me are mostly black. The boyfriend is white though, although if I am being fair he thinks he is black. I won't get into details here but can elaborate in comments. The black woman who lives there is multiple times more friendly than he is. He's actually a jerk if you ask me. Not part of the story though. My mom lives down the street from me if that is an important detail, and she called to warn me that there was a "black kid that showed up at her door with his arm in a sling and an old lawnmower." "He went up the street and might show up at your place," she told me. She said she got a call from her neighbor as well that the "kid was on the prowl and to be aware." She heard a knock on the door and went to answer, saw him, and slammed the door and called the cops. But she did see the lawnmower. "What did he say," I asked my mom. She told me she never gave him the chance. She felt threatened and slammed the door and called the cops. I asked my mom, "What if he's just a kid out trying to make some money cutting lawns?" "He's up to no good," she said. "I could tell." I have long said that I do not believe that racism is alive and well, but I DO acknowledge that there are biases in certain communities and with certain people. My mom obviously comes from another time. I can't help but wonder if the kid has no ill intent at all, but is just out trying to make an honest buck. Getting the door slammed in his face has to be a devastating experience, especially when we are trying so hard to teach minority kids that they have a place in this world. Maybe he WAS up to no good. But what if he wasn't? What if he really just wanted to cut grass for someone? What impression does this leave on that kid? How does he view himself in the world when a door gets slammed in his face not because he is trying to do something wrong, but GOOD? I have no idea what the kid was up to. But from what I heard it seems all he was up to was trying to be helpful and make a few bucks. I am not angry at my mom for her reaction. But I do feel for the kid. If he had showed up at my door I would have at least asked what he wanted and if he would have said, "Do you need your grass cut?" I'd have said sure, asked how much, let him do it, and been thankful for him doing it. Never in my life have I ever viewed a black person and thought immediately, "up to no good." It just gives me a little bit of pause that a kid might have been prowling the block looking for WORK only to have the cops called on him. And it makes me feel really bad for him.
10 people like this
13 responses
20 Apr 22
With understanding comes compassion. I feel bad for the kid too.
3 people like this
@porwest (90937)
• United States
20 Apr 22
This is not to say that there are not times to be suspicious. But it should not be the immediate reaction considering the circumstances. In my opinion.
20 Apr 22
@porwest You summed it up right.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Apr 22
I DO know what you mean. I live in a neighborhood of mostly retired people. A few years ago, a young black couple moved into a house down the street. Several of the older set were uncomfortable. Months went by. One day, while I was walking the dogs, we passed their house. He was out working on the car and she was helping him. I said hello and asked if he needed any help. He walked right over and shook my hand, pet the dogs and said he'd appreciate some help. His starter went bad and he was having trouble getting it out. I brought the dogs home, grabbed my toolbox and drove back up. He was trying to use pliers to remove the starter and hadn't disconnected the battery. Money was tight for them and he just didn't have any tools. I showed him the best way and handed him the right tool and he had the starter out in ten minutes. She brought out coffee. He was about to take the bus to town and buy a new starter. I offered to drive him. Then I learned the truth. He said I have been the only neighbor that has said more than hello to them. No one treated them badly, it's just that no one made an effort to get to know them. We talked on the way to, and back from town stopping for a frilly coffee for his wife. While he was putting in the starter, we chatted and he said that he kind of felt like the neighbors thought he was up to no good just by being black. Just then, I blurted out Wait, you're black? Why didn't you tell me? We all laughed. I set him up with a tool box and all of the necessary things needed. I visited with them several times before they moved away. We still exchange Cards on Birthdays and Christmas. Like your mom, some of the older people here are still distrustful of minorities. I don't know how to fix that. It might be that time is the only thing that can change attitudes. As the older generations pass away, there will be less distrust in a perfect world. I sure look forward to the day people will look at the person and not just the color.
2 people like this
@noni1959 (10095)
• United States
20 Apr 22
I love this story!!
2 people like this
@porwest (90937)
• United States
22 Apr 22
It is the world we live in and biases exist in all forms and across all races. Even most black people who approach me tend to approach me with an attitude that I am racist just because I am white just like I might think a black is up to no good just because he is black. I have known many black people I have really enjoyed the company of, and while I know that sounds like a very "white" thing to say, it is still true. I very much like the way you acted surprised to learn he was black. That's the way it should be. Why can't we just view each other as people and leave it at that? In a perfect world.
1 person likes this
@kareng (59206)
• United States
20 Apr 22
One of the best neighbors we had back in the subdivision was a black family. They were friendly and the men borrowed tools, etc. from each other all the time. Our kids also went to the same school. It is a shame that people form opinions about people without having and interactions with those people. I would have to say they are close minded folks.
1 person likes this
@kareng (59206)
• United States
21 Apr 22
@porwest True!! It takes all colors to make a rainbow
1 person likes this
@porwest (90937)
• United States
20 Apr 22
I am the same way. I will give anyone the benefit of the doubt first. As I always say, bad people have no color. They're just bad people and they come in ANY color.
1 person likes this
@porwest (90937)
• United States
21 Apr 22
@kareng Yes it does.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (44544)
• Staten Island, New York
20 Apr 22
If the kid had a lawnmower with him what else could he have wanted aside from offering to mow the lawn? If he wanted to do something bad (rob a house, etc.) he wouldn't be carrying a lawnmower with him.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (44544)
• Staten Island, New York
22 Apr 22
@porwest I would think if a person would wanna rob you they would not knock and make themselves known lol.
1 person likes this
@porwest (90937)
• United States
26 Apr 22
@lovebuglena I don't know. People are pretty bold these days. It's like those guys who were bumping into cars at stop lights only to have the people get out to check the damage and exchange information, and then have their car stolen at gunpoint.
1 person likes this
@porwest (90937)
• United States
20 Apr 22
...and he probably would not have necessarily knocked on the door. I guess it is possible some do it this way. But I don't know. Now, if there would have been a gang of them outside my door maybe I would be suspect. But that would be the case for anyone, white or black.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (178877)
• United States
20 Apr 22
I most certainly would never have called the cops on this poor young man. If I thought he was "up to no good", I would have simply declined to let him cut my grass. As it is, our grass needs cutting, so any offer in that regard would be welcomed!!!
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (178877)
• United States
23 Apr 22
@porwest Our mower no longer works; and my husband is too old to mow the grass. The kid across the street has been cutting it; but I haven't contacted his father this year to see if they will do it for $ again this year.
1 person likes this
@porwest (90937)
• United States
26 Apr 22
@LindaOHio The wife and I have been considering hiring a service. I imagine it would cost me anywhere from $30-$50 a cut.
1 person likes this
@porwest (90937)
• United States
22 Apr 22
Me too. I need my grass cut too and I don't want to do it. I am cheap but I would gladly part with some money to save from having to break out my own mower and bust my butt. lol
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
20 Apr 22
And I am sure it was not the first time for the child. That makes me very sad. Unfortunately it happens every single day. Not a racist either of course.
1 person likes this
@porwest (90937)
• United States
22 Apr 22
@CarolDM Meanwhile our white warehouse guy needs to keep away from magnets to avoid having his face attracted to it.
1 person likes this
@porwest (90937)
• United States
21 Apr 22
As I mentioned in a previous comment I DO think that sometimes the kids do well enough to LOOK the part, for whatever that is worth. Something the parents should not encourage nor condone. But that is of course for another day. In other words, if you don't want to be thought of as a gangsta, don't make it so you look like one. lol
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
21 Apr 22
@porwest I understand where you are coming from. Children are so impressionable.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (92789)
• United States
20 Apr 22
From the ages of 4 to 16 I lived in a predominantly black community. It never occurred to me a black person would be up to no good. And hello, fellow white Republican.
1 person likes this
@porwest (90937)
• United States
21 Apr 22
I do know that a lot of black kids DO sort of, oddly enough, MAKE themselves look the suspicious part—something I think the parents should encourage their kids NOT to do. But that's for another day. Heeellloooo over there GOP friendly.
@Shawchert (1094)
• United States
23 Apr 22
It is sad what they have to go through on a day to day basis, and sad more so, when people think that their outcry is a cry for attention. It isn't, it's a cry for equality, to be treated like a part of the community. Many black people (NOT ALL) live as they do BECAUSE of racism. It boils my guts to think about it, and I do wish there was more I could do. I hope one day we can all live in peace as all human.
@kaylachan (69824)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
20 Apr 22
I can understand how that is. I can't always tell what color someone's skin is, but I am aware how blacks are treated and it's not right.
1 person likes this
@porwest (90937)
• United States
20 Apr 22
Racism is something that is not just limited to black people. There is quite a lot of racism towards whites these days. It just doesn't get as much attention. This little situation here was not right though in my opinion. It was unfortunate to say the least.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (69824)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
20 Apr 22
@porwest Yes, I know. Out of sight, out of mind, more or less.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (37355)
• Toccoa, Georgia
20 Apr 22
I would have probably asked him what he wanted especially since he had a lawnmower with him.
1 person likes this
@porwest (90937)
• United States
21 Apr 22
That's what I would have done as well. And probably would have let him cut my grass if he had offered since I don't want to do it. lol
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (79892)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
20 Apr 22
Well if he was only looking for work and you feel bad for him then perhaps take the first step and give hin some kind of small job and pay him for it, Just not right to judge him by color of skin and not help him make some money,
@noni1959 (10095)
• United States
20 Apr 22
Growing up, I lived in an area of Bakersfield, CA, called, Oildale. It was predominately white and maybe a couple Mexican. Black people were scared to even set foot there. Racism was awful. My dad taught me everyone was the same so I couldn't understand how anyone could be this way. We had a family in our sailboat club I would babysit their baby. The cutest little cherub ever. In my 20's, I babysat two children from Africa. I'd take them to the store and get bad comments. I would get angry at those people. Years later, it's a mixed area but some of the racism is still there taught by parents to children. My dad had a brother that wrote something racist in his family story and I refused to put it in my genealogy book. That poor boy was probably trying to raise some money for his family or something he is saving for. It's so uncalled for today for the reaction he got.
@NJChicaa (119637)
• United States
20 Apr 22
I feel badly for the kid too. Why discourage a young person from trying to work and earn money?
1 person likes this
@porwest (90937)
• United States
20 Apr 22
I agree. Unless his activities were outwardly suspicious, which it would seem to me in this case they were not, I would not have had the same reaction.
1 person likes this