Baby’s first birthday and anxiety over her upcoming surgery
@shaggin (72116)
United States
July 31, 2022 10:06am CST
Today the baby turned 1. She has been a happy girl this morning. I’m getting some much needed cuddles in while she naps.
Her surgery is two days away. I woke up shaking with nerves. It doesn’t help that my husband isn’t here.
Then again maybe him being here would make it worse since we disagree on her surgery and he chose to go to a big family reunion yesterday. He and his son stayed the night there last night. It’s 11 am and he still isn’t home.
Selfish of him but nothing new there.
I remember some years my father taking off work to spend our birthdays with us and how happy that made me.
I’ve been to depressed yesterday and today to do much. I haven’t even gotten her presents wrapped. I could ask my son to watch her while I wrap them and know he would but he helps with her so much I don’t want him to have to do this.
No big birthday plans today. Waiting to do her party until a few weeks at minimum after her surgery.
My husband bought a small cake but it’s very blah looking so my sister in law is making one for the baby now.
Photo is something my son, my baby and I saw while we were out yesterday getting her pre-surgery Covid test done.
26 people like this
27 responses
@RebeccasFarm (89831)
• Arvada, Colorado
31 Jul 22
I am sorry your husband is not there Shanny.
I also am worried for you and baby with the surgery.
Although I am not in the know about the surgery, I am also sorry you both disagree on this.
No wonder you are depressed and worried.
A very Happy 1st Birthday to your lovely daughter and I wish her very well in the upcoming surgery.
I also am worried for you and baby with the surgery.
Although I am not in the know about the surgery, I am also sorry you both disagree on this.
No wonder you are depressed and worried.
A very Happy 1st Birthday to your lovely daughter and I wish her very well in the upcoming surgery.4 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (47274)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
1 Aug 22
@RebeccasFarm I'm sorry that her husband is a shelfish ashcan.
2 people like this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
31 Jul 22
@RebeccasFarm he doesn’t think the surgery is necessary. Every doctor she has seen says she needs it. I told him if he wanted it pushed until she’s older then I would make an appointment for him to talk to the doctors and if he did that and took a week off work to help me after the surgery I would change the date. He wouldn’t do either so I’m going ahead with the surgery.
3 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (89831)
• Arvada, Colorado
31 Jul 22
@shaggin I believe I would be in your court with this Shanny. Whatever the surgery is, in my mind, it is better to be done when she is small and will heal quickly ..just my thoughts on it. I support you in your decsion.
2 people like this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
3 Aug 22
@Kandae11 yes that’s how I felt too. This is when we need to be supportive and kind to each other. Him blaming me and being awful has really made it all so much harder. I understand he probably has just been really stressed over it but so am I and I’m not taking it out on him. Everyone’s different.
Her surgery is over we stayed here last night and have to stay tonight as well and will be released tomorrow if she’s drinking and peeing more.
. I’m really really angry if I do that.@shaggin (72116)
• United States
1 Aug 22
@MALUSE I do think he is a little overboard on this but I have relatives who aren’t even allowed to post photos of their children or grandchildren on Facebook or anywhere so there are people more worried then him.
I posted about her doctors appointment when she was about 3 months old on Facebook. He got really mad and wanted me to take it down and wouldn’t talk to me for days.
He thinks it makes kids more susceptible to kidnappers to know their weaknesses and their personal info they could use as a question like “oh hey your mom sent me to pick you up she can’t make it here today” and then if the kid says she doesn’t know him he could say “well your the one born with this condition and you go to such an such school right” anything they can use to try to make the kids feel like the person really knows them and was sent by mom.
I don’t have my state listed on here but I have mentioned in discussions many times what state I’m from. MyLot is my secret safe place so he doesn’t know I even use myLot but out of respect and to be safe instead of sorry I don’t write about her conditions on here.
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (69373)
• Germany
31 Jul 22
@shaggin Once I was on a site where a member showed a photo of their house and mentioned in the post that they were going on holiday the following week.
I remember thinking that the member could also have mentioned where the key to the door of the house was lying in order to make it easier for the burglars! That is information of the stupid kind!
Yet, it is beyond me why someone couldn't mention online that they or a close family member had to have their appendix / tonsils / wisdom tooth or whatever taken out.
I would really like to know what your husband is afraid of if you added the info. We don't even know where in the USA you live.
4 people like this
@aninditasen (16382)
• Raurkela, India
1 Aug 22
Wishing your baby a very happy 1st birthday and many happy returns of the day. Wishing her a safe surgery too and a quick recovery. God Bless her.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
5 Aug 22
@aninditasen her surgery was 1 year to the very day we brought her home from the hospital after she was born.
She had a quiet little birthday and now is quite sore after the surgery but I think she is doing better then expected.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
6 Aug 22
@aninditasen thank you. She’s pulling herself up to stand but no steps yet
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16382)
• Raurkela, India
6 Aug 22
@shaggin That's a wonderful news. Hope she becomes normal soon and can run about.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
11 Aug 22
@much2say this year really did fly by. The surgery went well. She’s finally feeling better today and hasn’t needed pain medicine at all. She’s drinking from her bottle too as of last night so the risk of dehydration isn’t big anymore. What a relief!
1 person likes this
@much2say (55562)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Aug 22
@shaggin What a relief about your little one's surgery . . . sounds like the healing is coming along 
. I hope your husband was able to help out during that time . . . no matter what it is always stressful on mom for sure. May your daughter continue to do well as she heals !
. I hope your husband was able to help out during that time . . . no matter what it is always stressful on mom for sure. May your daughter continue to do well as she heals !1 person likes this
@Tina30219 (81899)
• Onaway, Michigan
31 Jul 22
You are very right it is very selfish of him to be gone when he should be at home with you and helping you through this stressful time. I think you are doing the right thing waiting on the party til after her surgery. Happy birthday to her also
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
14 Aug 22
@Tina30219 I’m glad you agree it’s hard sometimes to know if I’m just being dramatic or not you know. I’m still not sure when I will plan her birthday party for.
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
14 Aug 22
@Tina30219 his mother asked today if I chose a date for it yet. I have to wait until she can eat cake and I’m not sure if that’s considered soft enough for her for awhile.
@RebeccasFarm (89831)
• Arvada, Colorado
10 Aug 22
Hello Shanny..just thinking of you and how is baby?
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
11 Aug 22
@RebeccasFarm today was not a good day for her. I got her to drink about 4 ounces of formula was about all. Encouraged foods that I could add formula and pedialyte too. She had quite a bit of those.
And as I was writing this her father came home and so he and the dogs would not wake her up where she was sleeping in my arms I took her up to her crib. She immediately started crying “mommy”. I brought her back down and tried giving her a bottle and for the first time since her surgery she drank it and the whole thing! I’m so happy!
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
14 Aug 22
@RebeccasFarm I would love that too it would be so nice to meet 
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51098)
• Canada
31 Jul 22
Happy Birthday to your precious little one. 
I am sorry that your hubby isn't on the same page as you are regarding her upcoming surgery.
I hope that you can get as much rest as possible before the surgery as you will need to provide alot of support to her afterwards, and I feel like you may not have the proper support that you need.
I am sorry that your hubby isn't on the same page as you are regarding her upcoming surgery.
I hope that you can get as much rest as possible before the surgery as you will need to provide alot of support to her afterwards, and I feel like you may not have the proper support that you need. 1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
11 Aug 22
@juliaacv My husband has been good about things since the babies surgery. I think it was just him being worried about the surgery is why he was so awful. It doesn’t make it okay though because I was a nervous wreck and I didn’t treat him bad.
The baby is finally doing better. It’s the first day since her surgery that she hasn’t needed pain medicine and she also finally started drinking her bottle again last night. That was a worrisome 8 days.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41392)
• United States
31 Jul 22
Oh, bless her heart. What kind of surgery is she having?
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
10 Aug 22
@1creekgirl I’m not allowed to say. My husband doesn’t like me to give out to much personal information.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
11 Aug 22
@1creekgirl thank you very much! She drank a bottle just now for the first time since her surgery (8 days ago). I am so so happy right now. I was getting so worried.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41392)
• United States
10 Aug 22
@shaggin I understand. God knows the whole situation and I pray he will heal her.
1 person likes this
@MarshaMusselman (38865)
• Midland, Michigan
5 Aug 22
I hope her surgery went well and that you are no longer worrying.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
10 Aug 22
@Marshamusselman her surgery did go well. She still will barely drink though so we’ve had to find other ways to keep her hydrated. Friday she goes back for a follow up visit and we will know if the surgery was 100% successful or not. The only thing that could have went wrong would be a small hole developing in the area of the repair she had done.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
12 Aug 22
@MarshaMusselman yes that’s 100% why. Last night for the first time in 8 days she drank her bottle and she drank the entire thing. She didn’t need any pain medicine today and drank a few bottles and was a very happy girl. I am so very thankful to see this sudden turn for the better.
1 person likes this
@MarshaMusselman (38865)
• Midland, Michigan
12 Aug 22
@shaggin hopefully there is no hole.
I wonder if her throat is sore and that's why she won't drink?
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (87770)
• Bangalore, India
1 Aug 22
You are in no mental situation to plan for a celebration. And I think it's better to have the big celebration once she recovers. Hope all goes well with the surgery. What's the surgery about??
Happy Birthday to here. God bless her with happiness and health.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
3 Aug 22
@arunima25 yes I was so worried about her surgery having to think about planning a party was too much.
She had the surgery yesterday morning. She was in a lot of pain and very upset yesterday but today she is doing better. We will be going home tomorrow.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
5 Aug 22
@arunima25 my husband doesn’t like me talking about her medical issues online so I can’t say.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (87770)
• Bangalore, India
4 Aug 22
@shaggin I wish her a speedy recovery. What was the surgery about??
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
31 Jul 22
Happy Birthday to your baby. I cannot believe it has been a year already. Wow. So sorry your husband will not be there for the surgery. You will have lots of support from the nurses. And I will keep you and her in my thoughts and prayers. Message anytime. I am always around. Let me know if you want my email address.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
14 Aug 22
@CarolDM yes this year really did fly by with her. They grow so darn fast. She’s standing up and climbing on things. Her feet are turned out badly like my first daughters were so I think she is going to need leg braces.
My husband was there for the surgery but on her birthday he didn’t get home until after noon. He can be so selfish. So thoughtful of you to offer to be there for me to message.
For some reason she woke up screaming. I gave her a bottle and held her while she slept for awhile but as soon as I took her up in her crib she started crying hard again. Brought her in my bed and she continued to cry so now I’m back down on the couch holding her while she sleeps. It’s 5am and I’ve been up for an hour after going to bed at midnight. I’m going to be tired today!
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (47274)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
1 Aug 22
Happy birthday to the little one. And good luck with the surgery.
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (47274)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
10 Aug 22
@shaggin I'm sure we're all hoping it's healed properly. 
A little angel for your little angel.
A little angel for your little angel.1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
11 Aug 22
@BarBaraPrz how cute thank you. I don’t think I’ve ever used that myLot code before.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
10 Aug 22
@BarbaraPrz thank you very much for both! She has a follow up appointment on Friday. We will know then if the surgery healed perfectly or not. Im praying it did. After that I’ll be a bit less stressed and can think about planning her belated birthday party.
1 person likes this
@averygirl72 (37845)
• Philippines
1 Aug 22
Happy Birthday. Why the baby needs surgery?
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
10 Aug 22
@averygirl72 my husband doesn’t like me to write about it online so I can only write what I have
@jobelbojel (35489)
• Philippines
5 Aug 22
I am sorry you were depressed, you can talk to members here most often. Been there, been depressed last year. I went out of my apartment, talked to lots of people here.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
5 Aug 22
@jobelbojel I’m staying home as much as possible the next 6 weeks to keep away from germs that I could bring into the baby. Coughing after surgery will good for her.
1 person likes this
@jobelbojel (35489)
• Philippines
5 Aug 22
@shaggin I did that when I was in my apartment, when I moved where I live now, I have the kids and my sister to talk to.
1 person likes this
@misunderstood_zombie (8142)
• United States
1 Aug 22
I'm sorry that your baby has to go through this. My daughter had eye surgery when she was two, and everything went fine. I'm praying for her.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
5 Aug 22
@misunderstood_zombie that had to be so hard for both of you . I’m glad everything went good with it. Praying everything heals correctly for my baby so she won’t have to have another surgery. We will know on the 12th if it healed well or not.
. I’m glad everything went good with it. Praying everything heals correctly for my baby so she won’t have to have another surgery. We will know on the 12th if it healed well or not.1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
8 Aug 22
@misunderstood_zombie thank you very much. I don’t feel bad for myself my heart just breaks for her. There’s a 50% chance if she has kids some day she will have to watch them go through the same thing she just went through.
@misunderstood_zombie (8142)
• United States
7 Aug 22
@shaggin I'm praying too, I'm sorry you are going through this.
1 person likes this
@Nakitakona (56486)
• Philippines
6 Aug 22
Happy Birthday to your 1-year old daughter. God bless her of the best of everything.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
10 Aug 22
@Nakitakona thank you. I think she had a nice birthday. She enjoyed her new toys and books.
1 person likes this
@Nakitakona (56486)
• Philippines
11 Aug 22
@shaggin That's indeed a great happiness for her.
1 person likes this
