A lot of drama here today. Obesity kills.
By Marie Coyle
@MarieCoyle (37444)
March 7, 2023 11:15pm CST
I have a neighbor lady who is somewhat of a recluse. I have tried to be friendly when I did see her, but she did not want to make friends with anyone, so I, along with the other neighbors, left her alone. I believe she has family, but no one saw them visiting very often. She wasn't well, everything always got delivered, and it was known throughout the neighborhood that she ordered pizza every night. And I do mean, every night! We have a lot of other choices, but she always wanted pizza.
For the last 6 months or so, she calls 911 nearly every night. She has a door with a code installed and the first responders have the code so they can get in. I guess from what I have heard, she falls a lot--and is obese. Then, she cannot get up, so she uses her little ''Help, I've fallen, and I can't get up'' button to summon the paramedics. She refuses to leave with them. There have been many nights when the ambulance is there more than once per night.
Early this morning, she used her button, and called paramedics. They were 5 minutes getting to her house, I heard the siren. I guess as soon as she called them, she died. So from 8 am until after 2 pm, my street was blocked by a coroner van, 3 squad cars, and several cars of her family members. They found her laying in a pool of blood, and evidently had been for some time before she pushed the button for help. Then they decided foul play could be involved, so they were doing the investigation to rule that out. Evidently, they did, because they finally let us leave. But they had visited all of our homes to find out if we had seen anyone there, and so forth. I guess they had their suspicions at the time and weren't letting us go until they tried to talk to us.
One neighbor wanted out to go out for coffee, so she drove on the sidewalk! I had an appointment, but I called and changed it for later on in the day. The crime scene tape is all gone, and all is calm. It was kind of sad, like another neighbor said, we did all try to be friendly with her, but she just wasn't interested. I have good neighbors; they would have helped her if they could. One lady took her a meal, and I took some cake and soup to her once. She called us both and told us not to bring anything again, because she didn't want our food.
I can't help but wonder why she was like this. She spent over 5 years in that place, always inside, no friends, just the occasional family member dropping by. One of her daughters told my other neighbor that all her mom ever did was watch tv and eat. That was her life.
What a sad life. But she got what she wanted, In the end. Everyone left her alone. Poor lady.
30 people like this
29 responses
@marguicha (222989)
• Chile
8 Mar 23
She must have been ill. And I mean mentally ill. Poor lady. May she rest in peace.
4 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
8 Mar 23
I did hear one of her daughters say that after her husband divorced her, she couldn't stop eating. I hope she found peace in the going, very sad, and yes, she had to be mentally ill as well as physically.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
10 Mar 23
@marguicha
No, no one can fix it now, not even her.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
8 Mar 23
Basically, she didn't have a life, by her own choice. She must have been in need of some mental health, but I don't think she would have accepted it, since she pushed everyone away.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
8 Mar 23
@srirahayu68
I always think it's a good thing to cultivate a good neighbor, they live close by, no one ever knows what the future could bring and we might actually need a neighbor at some point, or they might need us.
2 people like this
@srirahayu68 (323)
• Bogor, Indonesia
8 Mar 23
@MarieCoyle
yes, she is mentally ill. I'm also often stay at home and have few friends but I'm still have good relation with neighbors and make communication.
3 people like this
@askme123 (6150)
•
8 Mar 23
She needed a live in help to cook the proper food for her.Ensure she exercises and weight management. Was she able to wash her clothes and bathe herself? Who clean the house?However I guess she would have refused all of that too.
Condolences to her family.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
8 Mar 23
It is my understanding she refused all outside help and wanted no one in her home, except her family.
2 people like this
@rakski (122901)
• Philippines
8 Mar 23
@MarieCoyle I agree. She did not make her existence matter
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
8 Mar 23
Actually, when you think about it, it was no life at all. She was just existing.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
8 Mar 23
The saddest thing was when I heard from another neighbor that it took 4 grown men and a woman, all paramedics, to lift the gurney into the ambulance.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
8 Mar 23
It is my understanding it was offered to her many times, she refused it all.
It's often difficult to try to understand just why people do what they do.
2 people like this
@velvet53 (22534)
• Palisade, Colorado
8 Mar 23
@MarieCoyle That does make sense. Some people need something to turn to when they lose a loved one.
1 person likes this
@velvet53 (22534)
• Palisade, Colorado
15 Mar 23
@MarieCoyle How true. Those type of people don't realize what they have done to loved ones.
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
15 Mar 23
@velvet53
And when they do, no one can really fix that but the person themselves.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
8 Mar 23
I dearly love a good pizza. But not every day by any means. I would blow up in size like a Macy's float!
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@MarieCoyle No one I know is ashamed of seeing a therapist. More should certainly seek out help when they need it.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
8 Mar 23
@DianneN
Oh, I still know people who either hide the fact that they go for help, or just will not go. It's very sad.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
8 Mar 23
Mental health in our country needs to be better. And yes, the stigma is still there. I know people who still whisper that they go to a counselor or whoever, they are ashamed to go! And why? If you need help, you need help, it shouldn't be a shameful thing.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16389)
• Raurkela, India
8 Mar 23
Really sad. I think she had some mental problem too.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16389)
• Raurkela, India
9 Mar 23
@MarieCoyle A person with mental problem will always avoid company.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
8 Mar 23
Pretty much all I have heard so far about this, is that her family has all said many times how much they did try to help her. I do know people reached out to her here as well.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
9 Mar 23
That is very sad. But you're right it sounds like it was her choice.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
15 Mar 23
@MarieCoyle That's sad. Like you say, she made her choice but those who got hurt were those that loved her. She should have tried harder for them.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
15 Mar 23
@FayeHazel
I thought about that. People who are mentally impaired in some way often do not seem to think how much they hurt others by not trying to get help or get better.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
8 Mar 23
@MarieCoyle I know that all too well.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
8 Mar 23
We had that happen not far from me, a few years back. Older gentleman, lived alone. It was right when the pandemic started, he shot himself in the head. Yes, they always consider these instances a crime scene, it hurts the heart to know the person gave up.
1 person likes this
@zulfrontado (199)
• Puerto La Cruz, Venezuela
8 Mar 23
It is very sad what you tell. Maybe he was isolating because he had bad experiences socializing or something like that. Isolation is synonymous with something bad happening.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
8 Mar 23
She had gained so much weight, going anywhere without assistance wasn't possible. And she didn't want to go anywhere.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
9 Mar 23
@zulfrontado
Not trying to be picky here, but you keep saying ''he'' and the person is female, so it's ''she''. I know I shouldn't try to correct English, but in this case I do feel it makes a difference to stress the person is female. Thank you.
@zulfrontado (199)
• Puerto La Cruz, Venezuela
8 Mar 23
@MarieCoyle He had a problem besides being overweight. how unfortunate
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
10 Mar 23
We didn't take offense at her rudeness, because she was that way to everyone. She just shut the world out, everyone but the pizza delivery guy.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (136369)
• India
8 Mar 23
I wish we too had that facility to press that button - ''Help, I've fallen, and I can't get up'' As one gets older falling is a normal thing and when no one is around there will be trouble.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
9 Mar 23
I know there are a lot of people who have them. Some people use a smart watch instead to call for help, now.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
9 Mar 23
@MarieCoyle This makes me so so sad. Maybe it will never be known why she lived that life. It almost sounded like she just gave up in a way. Gave up with health, gave up with people....so sad. I'm sorry this happened. Well done to you and your neighbours for trying to be nice but like you said, she just wasn't interested.
1 person likes this
@pitsipeahie (5015)
•
8 Mar 23
That was sad. But her life was her choice. That's what we call, we can't do much to help someone, if that someone doesn't want to be helped. May her soul rest in peace and condolences to her family.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
9 Mar 23
All we can do is hope she found that peace now. Her family is there now at her home.
1 person likes this
@lifecoachjerusalem (1287)
• Israel
8 Mar 23
I am very sorry to hear about this. I hope that we learn from her, that to always be helpful to others. But we can never know what her inner life was and why she treated other people in this way. We can only hope that now she is in a better place, and has peace.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37444)
•
8 Mar 23
Yes, we can all try to be helpful to others. But the help has to be accepted, and she would not do that.
i do hope she found some peace in her passing, but it's still sad.