Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
By Jenaisle
@Jenaisle (14079)
Philippines
June 26, 2023 8:23pm CST
Have you read the book “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” by John Gray? The book focuses on the differences in how men and women think which could lead to misunderstandings.
My personal experience has taught me that it’s better to be straightforward when communicating with my hubby to avoid these misunderstandings.
However, there are times when my pride rears its ugly head and I say something else instead.
For example, when I was younger and my hubby came late for a date and apologized, I typically said, “It’s okay,” when all I wanted was to berate him for not prioritizing me. My pride refused to acknowledge this though as I didn’t want him to think that I was solely dependent on him.
What I really wanted him to do was to placate me and woo me until my mood lightened up. I know I acted like a child and a spoiled brat but this happened sometimes.
Now that we’re older and the smoke in my eyes has settled down, I express what I want without any frills. He got to learn more about my personal quirks during the long years we have been together, hence, sometimes words were unnecessary.
What about you? What do you think are the causes of misunderstandings between men and women, or husbands and wives? How could they be resolved?
Thank you in advance for sharing your thoughts.
17 people like this
15 responses
@AmbiePam (86009)
• United States
27 Jun
I have not read the book myself. I’m not married, so all I can go by is what I saw with my parents. I think the longer they were married, the more they thought about what the other wanted and needed before they did anything. When you’re constantly considering the other person’s feelings, there seems to be more understanding and compromise. Don’t get me wrong; this didn’t happen over a couple of years. Like the example you gave, it just took time.
3 people like this
@Jenaisle (14079)
• Philippines
27 Jun
Your comment is on point. It does not happen overnight. When couples truly love each other they would find ways to understand their beloved. It took years for us too, to be able to read those non-verbal cues.
But when both couples make the effort, it would be a worthwhile endeavor that makes the bond stronger.
2 people like this
@aninditasen (15804)
• Raurkela, India
27 Jun
In Indian astrology it's said if the position of venus is weak in a person's astrological chart there's sure to be marital discord in his or her life. For me the main cause of misunderstanding is when a husband or a wife tries to run the other's life without caring for his or her wishes or feelings. This happens mostly in India where we still have arranged marriage.
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14079)
• Philippines
27 Jun
@aninditasen Are the women today abusing the men?
2 people like this
@aninditasen (15804)
• Raurkela, India
27 Jun
@Jenaisle That's what is expected from the husband's family but then men today are much adjusting than the ones we had in our days but then some Indian women nowadays are turning out to be wicked.
2 people like this
@just4him (308692)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
27 Jun
In dating days, we don't want to rock the boat. We will keep our feelings inside so they will accept us. However, when the ring is on the finger, then our true nature comes to the forefront. Those feelings will either make or break a marriage. If love is the true motivator in your marriage, you will work through those times and your marriage will become stronger.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (158688)
• United States
27 Jun
Is that you in the picture? My problem is I don't say anything until it all builds up; and then I explode.
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14079)
• Philippines
28 Jun
@LindaOHio Thank you. I don't like confrontations too, so I avoid it as much as possible. 
Have a wonderful day, Linda.
Have a wonderful day, Linda.1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (158688)
• United States
28 Jun
@Jenaisle That's a lovely picture. I bite my tongue to avoid any confrontation.
2 people like this
@almostoveryou (4252)
• Philippines
27 Jun
we are all wired differently and tend to think in different ways. i'm glad that you and your husband have better communication now.
2 people like this
@almostoveryou (4252)
• Philippines
27 Jun
@Jenaisle is that you in the picture? :o)
2 people like this
@allknowing (130292)
• India
27 Jun
I have not read the book but heard about it. It is those differences and the ability to handle them makes for a successful marriage. If there were no differences it would be pretty boring
2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (49288)
• United States
27 Jun
I think there are problems when there is not enough communication. How long have you been married ?
2 people like this
@JESSY3236 (19056)
• United States
27 Jun
I haven't read that book. But I think mostly the misunderstandings come from that women were treated badly for so long.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (326777)
• Rockingham, Australia
3 Jul
I've read this book and have written a couple of funny stories here relating to it and its advice. I don't think I'm allowed to put a link but you could search 'tagged discussions' for 'Freddo Frog' and they'd come up.
@Starmaiden (9311)
• Canada
27 Jun
I have 4 brothers and what I understand from my observances of them and from my own experience with men is that men have two heads. I'll never understand them completely.
I never married btw.
2 people like this
@innertalks (21167)
• Australia
28 Jun
Books such as that one do claim that there are major differences between women and men, and how they use their brains.
I do not see the difference as being that important, if we look at the spiritual person behind the brain. A soul is a spark of God, and would not carry these differences, I would suspect.
Especially would this be true, if we believe in reincarnation, where most souls would have had the opportunity to be both male, and female.
Is there any difference between a man, and a woman?
Of course, there is physically.
But, the love that they can both live from is the same love, but are their minds different?
Love is always love, and a heart leading you from love is what is important.
Your mind is your heart's tool, and is given to you, different from every other mind, and it has a way of working, and gifts attached to it, that you can use in conjunction with your heart for best livingness for you in your life.
And so, every mind is different from every other mind, and the physical body difference is just another facet of this difference in any particular instance of that difference.
I do not like making generalisations about men, and women then, as each case, to me must be examined on its own merits.
