Do you use first names or surnames?
By Judy Evans
@JudyEv (340278)
Rockingham, Australia
June 16, 2024 9:37pm CST
I have to thank Vanny for the inspiration for this post.
My mother was born in 1910 and social mores were different in those days. Well after she was married, my mother joined the Country Women’s Association. Although she was well acquainted with many of them, they all called each other Mrs this, Mrs that, or Miss whatever. Children, in particular, were expected to use a person’s full name. Men would call other men by their first name but women by their full name.
Sometimes there would be a discussion around the dinner table as to the first name of a person. Times have changed and nowadays, Vince and I sometimes ponder on the surname of a person everyone seems to be called by their first name.
When I was a child anyone in authority was given their full title but Vince now addresses his doctor as ‘Clive’. I must admit I’m more inclined to call doctors ‘Doctor’ unless invited to use their first name.
36 people like this
35 responses
@rebelann (112875)
• El Paso, Texas
17 Jun
When I was little I was taught to call an adult by their title such as Mr. or Mrs. or Miss with their last name, another thing I was taught is to answer and adult with ma'am or sir, dad would smack us if we didn't follow those rules.
As I began working I only addressed my bosses as Mr or Mrs not my co workers.
7 people like this
@ptrikha_2 (46976)
• India
17 Jun
@rebelann
So your father was quite strict.
However the norm in Corporate world is veering towards using the first name.
7 people like this
@ptrikha_2 (46976)
• India
17 Jun
I was in a client office in UK in 2005.
There was a guy named Colin Carlson who was giving us training.
I was once mentioned to another English person about him as Mr. Carlson but he objected to it by saying that I should call by his first name.
Yet in some places, people are called by their surnames with Mr. or Mrs added.
Of course, in many places, Sir or Mam is called which I sometimes don't like.
It seems like that fixated remain of the colonial times.
I even had a discussion about this with some of my junior colleagues who seem too much habituated to this practice.
6 people like this
@jobelbojel (35648)
• Philippines
17 Jun
You are right, it is quite similar here.
5 people like this
@AmbiePam (92885)
• United States
17 Jun
I have the hardest time with my primary care doctor because he’s not a doctor; he’s a nurse practitioner. I want to refer to him as doctor out of habit and respect, but he is very clear on not being a doctor. So when I refer to him to anyone else I call him Daniel, but when I talk to him directly I say Mr. Williamson.
As a child I called adults Mr. or Mrs. Smith. As an adult, I call all adults by their first name, but if they are elderly I try to stick with ma’am and sir if possible. That’s just the custom around here. It may be rude in other places, but here it is polite to use first names if you are an adult. As a kid, I wouldn’t dare call an adult by their first name.
5 people like this
@AmbiePam (92885)
• United States
17 Jun
@JudyEv Yes, exactly. On Mylot I’m so used to someone from certain places telling me how rude that is, and I’m like, that’s how my part of America does it. Lol
If all you have is a first name, you definitely just take what is given! I was just thinking about calling my teacher by her first name, and how much trouble I would have been in had I done that.
3 people like this
@jobelbojel (35648)
• Philippines
17 Jun
In the Philippines, we address them ma'am or sir. Some would say "don't call me such, just call me this/that.
In the police or military they address their comrades by their last names.
At work, we call the Filipino leaders TL or boss but the non-Filipino leaders we call them by their first names especially the Americans because that's what they want us to address them.
5 people like this
@ptrikha_2 (46976)
• India
17 Jun
@jobelbojel
Sounds very similar to what's the norm in India with some exceptions.
5 people like this
@jobelbojel (35648)
• Philippines
17 Jun
@JudyEv ma'am or sir is used especially if they're part of customer service industry.
3 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (50290)
• United States
17 Jun
It just depends on how well I know someone and their age as to what I call them by. I do call my doctor……doctor.
5 people like this
@zhangxueying (3342)
• China
17 Jun
The Chinese name is completely different from that of the West. Generally, in the workplace, people of the same age are called by their names, while those older than us are called by their elder sister or brother. If they are superiors, they are called by their surname and their position is added, such as Manager Liu. Liu is the surname and Manager is the position. If it's a neighbor, elders call it aunt or uncle. People of the same age can be called by name.
5 people like this
@Orson_Kart (6779)
• United Kingdom
17 Jun
Is Clive the name of the doctor, or just a name Vince has given him? 
Things are pretty much the same here. Everyone is much more informal these days. Saying that, I find kids now are using words like ‘bro’ and ‘guys’ rather than the real names. That includes their parents!
Things are pretty much the same here. Everyone is much more informal these days. Saying that, I find kids now are using words like ‘bro’ and ‘guys’ rather than the real names. That includes their parents!3 people like this
@Orson_Kart (6779)
• United Kingdom
18 Jun
@JudyEv Calling women by pet names is common here, or it used to be. Now it is frowned upon as sexist.
Babe, love, darling etc to name a few. In my neck of the woods, ‘pet’ is used. In the midlands they say “duck”.
I’ll remember now never to call you “babe”. 
2 people like this
@JudyEv (340278)
• Rockingham, Australia
18 Jun
@Orson_Kart People get so uptight about some of these things. There used to be a saying, something about 'blah blah blah but don't call me late for breakfast'. 
I must try and remember the rest of it.
I must try and remember the rest of it.1 person likes this
@FourWalls (68132)
• United States
17 Jun
When speaking to an older person, I refer to them as “Mr.” or “Ms.” and last name unless they say otherwise. We had professors in college who didn’t mind being called by their first name instead of “doctor,” and the nun professors preferred “Sister” to “Doctor.” My snooty music appreciation professor, however, insisted on being called “Doctor.” There was a guy who was working on his dissertation who insisted on signing everything “Ph.C.” (Which doesn’t exist as an “official” designation of a Ph.D. candidate).
I’ll call everyone “sir” or “ma’am,” although that can get you into trouble now with “gender identification” problems.
4 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (106452)
• Marion, Ohio
17 Jun
First names are used here too. Many people I don't know their last names
3 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (106452)
• Marion, Ohio
17 Jun
@JudyEv I think it helps make people feel friendlier.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (340278)
• Rockingham, Australia
18 Jun
@wolfgirl569 Yes, you're right. Adding Mr, Mrs, Ms is how you might address a stranger but not someone who is more or less a neighbour.
1 person likes this
@xFiacre (13043)
• Ireland
17 Jun
@judyev I do enjoy correcting young whipper-snappers who call me from whatever company and address me by my first name. I often say “It’s Mr Banks to you, we aren’t friends and I don’t know who you are so you ought not to be first naming me”. But then I’m just a grumpy old man. They usually just hang up.
4 people like this
@just4him (317089)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
17 Jun
I recall movies with that etiquette for names. As a child, I called everyone Mrs. Mr. and last name. Or my peers by their first name. For relatives, it was Aunt or Uncle, Grandma or Grandpa. I always use the title of the person in a professional position. I never call my pastor by his first name without Pastor in front of it. He prefers being called Pastor Jimmy, not Pastor Jimmy McDonald.
3 people like this
@Shiva49 (26690)
• Singapore
17 Jun
I have no surname as such and it is made up of my father's name and my given name. That has been the norm in most of South India. In Indonesia, most had only one name, like Suharto, a former president.
In earlier times, we used to address older people not by their names but as uncle and aunty attached to their names. I know Western people are very informal, especially Australians. I recall in Melbourne, the taxi driver addressed me as James when I did not mention my name initially.
3 people like this
@May2k8 (18369)
• Indonesia
17 Jun
when the spelling had not yet been perfected Suharto it should have been written Soeharto and we of course added Sir in front of it to become Sir Soeharto.
people from the past generation only had one word, unlike those in the 21st century who can have more than 3 words.
3 people like this
@Beestring (14565)
• Hong Kong
17 Jun
If we do not know each other well, we call each other Mr or Ms. (last name). For acquaintances or friends, we just call the last name,
4 people like this
@GardenGerty (160713)
• United States
17 Jun
Grandma was born in 1900, mom in 1920. I do not recall grandma referring to anyone except as Mrs. or Mizz or Mr. except for relatives. Mom was not as formal but she expected us, as kids to call adults Mr. or Mrs. even though people like church workers wanted us to call them by first name. I see this at school that most support staff go by first names with the kids. Not me. I am Mrs. Echola or Echola. Too many other Heathers at school, plus I am asking for their respect.
3 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (47359)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
17 Jun
Y'know, now that you mentioned it, I don't think I call my doctor by ANY name...
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (180920)
• United States
17 Jun
I would feel strange addressing a doctor by their first name. I usually see a nurse practitioner though. and I am OK calling her by her first name, although I normally don't say anything like that to her.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (100303)
• India
17 Jun
I knew you all are going the American way....sigh..Evil Grin.
Full name means Mrs. Judy Evans or Mrs. Evans? I think we use Mrs. Evans equivalent out here.
But I do know in some cases, we have used the name of the gent and added aunty to it...like Subba Rao aunty or Prasad Aunty...weird...the name of Subba Rao aunty is too long...I really don't know why we called Prasad aunty Prasad aunty...and she responds to that...her name is Prasuna...we all know it...still...maybe there was another Prasuna...in the group that I never met.
3 people like this
@JudyEv (340278)
• Rockingham, Australia
18 Jun
My full name for filling out a formm would be Mrs Judy Evans but otherwise if someone asked my full name I'd just say 'Judy Evans'. Quite a few cultures seem to add uncle or aunty almost as a mark of respect. Our own aborigines do that too.
1 person likes this
@RevivedWarrior (2281)
• India
17 Jun
I use the same strategy. Address indirectly without using the first names especially when talking to elders and people of opposite gender. At times, I do use the idea for people younger than me. However, in office, everyone address by their first name regardless of age or any factors. I have seen people addressing others by their surname in rural areas. Thanks for sharing!
