Are you a high maintenance person?
By Marie Coyle
@MarieCoyle (37101)
July 19, 2024 3:06pm CST
I am definitely not high maintenance.
Raised partly by grandmothers and an aunt, I had a lot of old-school influence in my life. My aunt was somewhat high maintenance, but as she spend many years modeling, I could sort of understand it back then.
After looking up some things to answer my own curiosity, I realize there is more than one type of high maintenance. The first one listed is what I always considered high maintenance.
I'm talking constant and excessive things like $400-$600 hair extensions constantly being redone, endless trips to a beauty salon, nails have to be perfectly buffed and polished and changing colors, waxing, spas...you know. The stuff you pay big bucks for. For some reason, I think of the Kardashians and the endless amount of money they spend on getting new boobs, bigger butts, tiny waists, the best of everything...but they can afford it. Even though I do not care for the family at all, at least they do pay for their own stuff. (Why they are even famous is beyond me, but that's a topic for another day!) Most people who do these things excessively often also feel they need, and deserve, the best of everything, and demand it from others if they cannot obtain it for themselves.
In my quest for understanding this ridiculous topic, I stumbled on this from Dictionary.com
''High maintenance people are those who require a lot of attention, time, and resources from others. They often have a high sense of entitlement and demand a lot of things from others. They can be very demanding and difficult to please.''
The part of the statement that says ''whose who require a lot of attention, time, and resources from others'' really made me think. So much of this type of behavior seems to go with entitlement--people simply feel they are entitled to certain things, whether or not they have the money, doesn't seem to matter to some of them. They will spend their last dime on clothes they don't need, wildly expensive beauty treatments, plastic surgeries, excess anything--if they want it, they are out there doing their very best to get someone to provide it for them.
One of the articles I found referred to many high maintenance people as being selfish as well as entitled. I think I have known (or do know) people from both groups. There are those who pay for their own high maintenance, and then there are those who expect someone else to provide them with whatever their little heart's desire.
I don't consider self-care, good health care, basic hygiene needs, decent foods, and such being high maintenance. I am talking about people who constantly need attention, and often goods and services--repeatedly!
High standards are not the same as high maintenance!
30 people like this
26 responses
@marguicha (222745)
• Chile
19 Jul
I have always bought good clothes and the like but my clothes last long. I do not wear second hand clothes and less of all shoes that are not new or good.
I will not say that this is high maintenance. It is hight standards.
4 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
19 Jul
You buy quality and use it until it’s not usable anymore. That is definitely high standards and that’s a good thing.
3 people like this
@marguicha (222745)
• Chile
19 Jul
@MarieCoyle Exactly. I have some sweaters that are around 25 years old. And they look new.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
20 Jul
@marguicha
I have some nice sweaters as well, they are a very basic style and still look new. They are 20? Or so years old as well.
2 people like this
@kaylachan (69199)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
19 Jul
I am not really, but I can come off that way. I do know how to kind of get what I want and such.
4 people like this
@kaylachan (69199)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
19 Jul
@MarieCoyle The line between need and want are blurred in a lot of situations. Due to my disabilities, What I 'need' is often considered a 'want' by others' so while it's a need for me, others would see it as a want. Like when I got my first phone. I was in a toxic situation, and needed it for an emergency. Back then there weren't a lot of options out there. not a lot of hand sets that could be used to dial emergency services.
I need an accessible way to communicate. So I need a phone that fits my needs. But, because that phone is 1,000 it could be seen as a spoilt entitled want. When in reality I needed a phone with a larger screen and more screen real-estate to operate VoiceOver if I need it. Although, I don't right now. Apple offers talking wire I need it most.
I bought my first MacBook after having to replace my laptops. Microsoft apparently isn't designed for the amount of time I spend online working and my machines would overheat and cause no end of problems. A Dell I loved, the screen doesn't always come on and that'd be fine because I have jaws, except it just refuses to do anything.
My M1 is almost two years old and works just like I got it. And, the M2 I'm using now is holding up well.
I've dropped a lot of cash on Amazon to find a lap desk that would allow me to use my computer comfortably on the couch. Sincethere's no such thing as checking things out in person, I had to keep going at it.
For most people, those are wants.
I have an office I could use, but I'm not.... because I have to be able to hear my husband if he needs me. Kind of hard to do with how loud he needs the t.v.
Sometimes I have to act like a Princess to ensure things meet my exact standard and there are times I can be chill and flexible.
3 people like this
@sallypup (60948)
• Centralia, Washington
20 Jul
@kaylachan I guess because its a niche market, products for the handicapped are priced crazy high. My hubby wanted a braille clock because phones and such are all just screens. I went to one on line store that sold products for the blind. 25.00 for the clock. Reasonable. 25 for shipping and handling. No way. I went to Amazon and found the same product for the same price but zero shipping costs. Free shipping for the blind and or handicapped but I think the first company got away with the 25 dollar fee saying it was for handling.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
19 Jul
I have never had that ability. When I want something that isn't a need, I generally just keep it to myself. I am not sure why, I just do.
3 people like this
@popciclecold (38586)
• United States
19 Jul
Not for me, happy to just have my needs. I never knew what high maintenance entails, it's a lot. Thanks for sharing.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (100214)
• India
21 Jul
I am sorta done with drawing room. Now for bathrooms. Shower curtains and shower rod. One of the shelves has given in, that needs to be replaced.
I am the only one in this complex that is not changing the door frames. Most of them have fearing termites.
Likewise, I am the only one who has not changed flooring. Most of them have changed to ceramic flooring. Marble came with builder specifications. It does look dull. Using contemporary floor sweeping and mopping devices is not possible here.
I have used the same fridge for 20 years. Same washing machine, same microwave. The additions are actually repairs or what was long due...exhaust fans for example in bathrooms. Dad did not install them, for more than 10 years! Likewise, he did not get waterproofing done. That led to flaking. Every 5 years or so, waterproofing is advisable here.
Even now, the drawing room sofa throws are because Dad is turning 90 next month. People will be turning up to wish him. The house does need to be presentable somewhat. At least the front room.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
21 Jul
@vandana7
When you have a home, it takes constant cleaning and maintaining. Nothing lasts forever, painting needs done at times, appliances can die, etc. It's hard to keep up at times.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
19 Jul
Some people seem to have to do everything in excess. They want everything to be the best and lots of it. I am not one of those people, either.
3 people like this
@NJChicaa (119514)
• United States
20 Jul
I do spend money on things like tanning, hair coloring/foils/tinsel, candles, a cleaning lady, etc.
That being said I don't buy fancy clothes, purses, shoes, etc. I'm too old to not treat myself after all of that work. My tastes in most instances are pretty plain.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
20 Jul
You are earning the money to pay for all of that... so you aren't using someone to obtain your goal. You seem to present a well-put together person, you are in the working world and seem to present yourself well.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (177809)
• United States
20 Jul
I don't even wear makeup anymore. I'm all about comfort but still looking presentable. I'm definitely not high maintenance! Have a good weekend.
3 people like this
@LindaOHio (177809)
• United States
21 Jul
@MarieCoyle Still about the same. I'll see my PCP next month as she didn't have any appointments right away in the afternoon.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
20 Jul
There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping things basic. My routine for self care is fairly basic, I want to be clean and present myself neatly.
I hope you are feeling better, Linda.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160610)
• United States
19 Jul
Nope, not high maintenance. I do not have anyone around who could afford me if I was.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
20 Jul
It seems like it would waste a lot of time, money, and resources to be high maintenance!
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (180358)
• United States
19 Jul
I would say yes, but not in the way described. There are different ways to be high maintenance.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
20 Jul
You are correct. I’ve thought of some other ways, too.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100214)
• India
20 Jul
I am confused where I belong. LOL
Ok...lately, I have spent on house upgrade. Not upgrade...all the way. There was a ventilator that had given way. Dad let it run like that for over 10 years. I had it repaired. I opted for expensive wood that goes not get termite. Likewise, dad had used cardboard around the window air conditioners, which had swelled and was kinda shedding. So yeah, I got that replaced too with expensive plastic wood. Now it looks neat. Brought in exhaust fans...dad did not for over 10 years. Got waterproofing work done, because of paints inside flaking, then got cupboards painted with oil paints. Expensive but I don't have to change papers every second month. Latest, I have gotten us some sofa throws, because dad selected very light colored sofa cloth the last time, much against my advise. I gave in because, well, Dad is old, and he might not live long, and then I might regret controlling him. But now, these four year old sofas ...they do get dirty, and need some throws that need to be washed periodically. So yeah I did opt, for expensive one. Like I opted for 420 per meter fabric over 350 per meter fabric. Does make me high maintenance, right? LOL
I just want our surroundings to be pleasant.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
20 Jul
You are trying to make your surroundings pleasant and efficient, and make your home a place of comfort. There is nothing wrong with that at all. You no doubt look at the whole picture, and your Dad probably looks at things one at a time. And cardboard around the AC units would certainly not be very efficient at all. It sounds like you are simply trying to improve your surroundings and not being wasteful at all, if I were you, I wouldn’t feel badly about it.
You are a loving person caregiver for your Dad. Being a caregiver is not easy. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, too.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100214)
• India
20 Jul
@MarieCoyle At the flip side, I am repurposing old sofa covers (previous ones which I had to use to prevent the light colored ones getting dirty) that I was using as sofa throws, as the cushion covers. LOL
Why? These don't leave color. So I can easily wash them. What I order online, I would not know how they would be. LOL Kinda, known devil is better than the unknown devil.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
20 Jul
@vandana7
I repurpose a lot of things, especially if they are made from fabrics. It makes me feel good to make something out of an item that either isn't being used, or isn't wanted anymore. Good job.
2 people like this
@much2say (55507)
• Los Angeles, California
19 Jul
I simply self-maintain without the massive spending - I'm a DIY-er 
. I am far from high maintenance.
Ohhh, I can think of a few high maintenance people in my life . . . they are definitely that which you've described. It's funny, because for people who act like they have everything going for them on the outside, there's something lacking about them on the inside - even though they may never admit it. It's as if all this excess in their lives makes up for "something" . . . they have lost their sense of being "real".
. I am far from high maintenance.
Ohhh, I can think of a few high maintenance people in my life . . . they are definitely that which you've described. It's funny, because for people who act like they have everything going for them on the outside, there's something lacking about them on the inside - even though they may never admit it. It's as if all this excess in their lives makes up for "something" . . . they have lost their sense of being "real".2 people like this
@much2say (55507)
• Los Angeles, California
23 Jul
@MarieCoyle Oh yes - they are possibly all narcissists!!! The ones I'm thinking of definitely are. Is it that our societies have become more and more materialistic? I see this trait in younger folks, sadly including kids these days 
.
.1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
24 Jul
@much2say
So many seem to be all about things, or collecting things, that are either trendy or merely impulse buys. No one seems to think out their purchases much, even a large purchase--the exception being a house or a vehicle. So much entitlement. I have heart ''well, I deserve this!'' or ''I might not need it, but hey, I want it'' spoken by people who then slap it on their credit card, and later on are truly struggling with the payments. I've said it before and I will say it again, THINGS don't make a person happy most of the time.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
20 Jul
Does it seem to you that sometimes these people can be on the narcissistic side? It does to me.
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (79649)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
19 Jul
I am quite content on my own and do very well for myself. Some days when I am down in my mood I don't even want to see anyone so I am glad there is no one who comes to visit except occasionally my friend to check on me from downstairs,
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
19 Jul
We are all different, that's for sure. I enjoy being around my friends and family--not constantly, of course, but I do treasure every moment, especially with my kids and grands.
3 people like this
@xFiacre (12966)
• Ireland
19 Jul
@mariecoyle I have one such entitled person in the family. She has more money than the rest of us but thinks we should all put ourselves out so that she can have the lifestyle she believes she deserves.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
19 Jul
I have a set of twin lady cousins that are like that. They have always been ridiculously self indulgent, it has cost them relationships and grief, but they still stick to their “needs.” I rarely see them and honestly, I am fine with that.
2 people like this
@Deepizzaguy (102513)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
19 Jul
You have a good point there that high standards are different from having high maintenance standards.
3 people like this
@Deepizzaguy (102513)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
20 Jul
@MarieCoyle You are welcome.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (54986)
•
19 Jul
From a young age my mother taught us to do things that would benefit us in later life, some things she didn't have to teach us. I can sew, cook , design, paint , do craft items etc. l hardly ever visit a beauty salon . l am a do it yourself kind of person so l may look high maintenance but l am not.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
20 Jul
I was taught by my elders to do pretty much the same things as you. I am a do-it-yourself person. I am fortunate that my best friend had her own beauty salon for years and she keeps my hair trimmed. I appreciate that and she does accept brownies for payment!!
2 people like this
@allknowing (135903)
• India
20 Jul
I have always gone for othe best but never taken loans to achieve that I could say I have high standards but not high maintenance.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
20 Jul
It's generally a good thing to have high standards.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (105820)
• Marion, Ohio
20 Jul
I say I am high maintenance because I like my critters and they can be expensive
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
20 Jul
Yes, they can...but you are providing a loving home and good care, you do have the pleasure of having them and loving them, but you do have to do the work to keep them, too.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (339414)
• Rockingham, Australia
20 Jul
I hear what you're saying and agree. I've only heard about the Kardashians; never watched them or read much about them. It always seems to me that they're out for the publicity/notoriety/fame. I wonder if they actually perform any useful service.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (78882)
• East Tawas, Michigan
19 Jul
If I was a high maintenance woman, my husband would leave me. I don't wear makeup, cut my own hair, wear clothing until it falls apart, don't need fake anything. I'm just me, that's it. Self care? Mine is a bar of soap, water and lotion on my face. I like to be clean. tah-dah! I'm ready.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (78882)
• East Tawas, Michigan
20 Jul
@MarieCoyle As a young adult, I wore all kinds of makeup. After my divorce, I threw it away. I didn't want to improve my looks. I became comfortable wearing my own face, the one God gave me.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
20 Jul
I am clean and as neat as possible. Life is too short to fuss too much over trivial things.
2 people like this
@arunima25 (87771)
• Bangalore, India
20 Jul
I am very particular about my dressing style and the quality of clothes and things I use. I pay for them and enjoy them. And I am a minimalist. I have few needed things, less clutters and all good quality stuff that look good and last long, worth every penny. I am creative and come up with beautiful products with upcycling and recycling. I am all for self care and hygiene. But it's nothing expensive.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (87771)
• Bangalore, India
24 Jul
@MarieCoyle Even I am a minimalist when it comes to fashion and style. And I love to be presentable and elegant with my dressing.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
25 Jul
@arunima25
I really do not enjoy dressing up very much anymore. I had to for so many years...I'm done, I love being casual. I'm neat and clean, but not dressy anymore.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
21 Jul
Style isn't as important to me as quality and comfort. I just try to stick to very basic styles, that way they don't go out of style! haha..but it's true. And yes, all of that can be accomplished without spending a lot of money.
1 person likes this
@grenery8 (10138)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
20 Jul
i like a little bit of attention but constantly and spending a lot of money on lashes, no, not that type of person. i am sometimes surprised how men are looking down to us, thinking all women do that kind of things. i want someone to respect me and value me and if that's a high maintenance, then let it be.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
21 Jul
Some of those trendy, so-called beauty treatments are ridiculously expensive. And some of the trends come and go so quickly, it can make a person's head spin. I just try to keep it fairly simple.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37101)
•
25 Jul
@grenery8
That's good, I don't want to be unaware...sorry I was teasing and I didn't end up sounding like I was!
1 person likes this
@grenery8 (10138)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
24 Jul
@MarieCoyle just the expression.
1 person likes this
