Update on Linda and Mr. OHio
By Four Walls
@FourWalls (70517)
United States
January 17, 2025 7:43pm CST
Hi, everyone. I just got off the phone with Linda. The news is devastating.
Tomorrow she goes to sign the papers to put her husband into hospice care. She said he cannot swallow anymore, and he’s been trying to pull tubes out when they try to feed him. She also said that they told her that, should they need to resuscitate him, the procedure would break his ribs.
She said that she thought it over and decided she simply could not put him through those terrible things after all he’s been through the past year.
Linda herself, physically, is still wiped out from the infection. She said she couldn’t eat at all yesterday, but did manage to eat today.
If you’ve been through that horrible process of putting a loved one in hospice or having to sign the papers to disconnect the machines in accordance with their living will/“do not resuscitate” wishes (and I know many of us have been in that situation…I certainly have) then you know how she is doing emotionally.
She asked me to share this information with you all.
Please pray for her. 
The photo is the Key Largo sign in the Upper Keys, which I took in 2020.
The photo is the Key Largo sign in the Upper Keys, which I took in 2020.36 people like this
34 responses
@AmbiePam (95525)
• United States
18 Jan
I’ll be praying for her. She did all she could do, and I hope she doesn’t listen to any bonehead comments indicating otherwise. He just wasn’t going to get any better no matter where he was or what she did. I hope we can somehow get across how much we love her.
14 people like this
@MarieCoyle (40085)
•
18 Jan
@AmbiePam
Most definitely she did the best she could. I wish someone was there with her, this is the hardest thing ever to go through.
8 people like this
@2ndchances24 (9740)
• Cloverdale, Indiana
18 Jan
@FourWalls She has been through a lot since he has been
in the hospital & rehab Just to get worse over time &
it has took a toll on her, I just hope she can get better soon.
It's going to be a long road for her for a while, she's
going to need all the support you & every 1 can give her.
2 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
Wish we could all reach through the computer and give her a big hug. 
7 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
@sallypup — I know how much the concern of someone else means in those deep dark times. I started my mom’s eulogy by thanking everyone, because it really is comforting.
3 people like this
@porwest (95261)
• United States
18 Jan
@FourWalls We all do. As I say all the time around here. We really are like a small extended family.
4 people like this
@snowy22315 (184216)
• United States
18 Jan
I am very sorry to hear that, but honestly it seemed to be pretty.clear he has been in decline for a long time. I feel for Lynda though .she must really be hurting I hope she will rejoin us again sometime
I hope she will rejoin us again sometime7 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
I hope she feels our love and support for her in these difficult days.
5 people like this
@MarieCoyle (40085)
•
18 Jan
@FourWalls
I hope she knows, too. Even though the news isn’t good, I appreciate being updated, and will be praying.
5 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
I know she appreciates it. I’ve told her that people here are keeping them in their thoughts and prayers and she said, “Thank you.” It’s such a hard thing to go through, and I just wish we could ease her agony.
7 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
I know she appreciates the prayers. It’s so hard to watch our friends go through this.
5 people like this
@JudyEv (344527)
• Rockingham, Australia
18 Jan
@FourWalls Her heart must be breaking.
4 people like this
@Juliaacv (51979)
• Canada
18 Jan
There are hardly any words that I tell to describe the emotional feelings when you have to do 'what is best' for your loved one as she must do today. It is the hardest most unselfish act that will leave you heart broken. But she has done so much, so much more than alot would do over the course of his illness. They are both in my prayers, I cringe every morning when I log in as I fear looking for a post from her, and as you know, there has not been any recently.
4 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
It’s a difficult thing, even when you “know” it’s the best thing. Even when you’ve had “the talk” and know their wishes. (The law here in Kentucky stipulates that a family member can overrule a person’s DNR/living will wishes, so we had to sign paperwork that we concurred with it before they disconnected my mom. )
He will be comfortable, at least.
)
He will be comfortable, at least.2 people like this
@Juliaacv (51979)
• Canada
18 Jan
@FourWalls Yes, he will be kept comfortable.
My Dad had a red DNR sign over his headboard in the hospital, but the day that he passed, about 5 minutes after he passed, 2 nurses came in and began to try to resuscitate him, and I had to tell them 3 times that he was a DNR, and I pointed to the sign.
It was very difficult, more for them than me, I witnessed him cross over, it was beautiful, and I was using the phone to call my mother and brothers.
My Dad did not want to be brought back, he was ready to go, and it was evident in his last hour of life on this earth. But you are so right, you have to know the laws.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (472427)
• Switzerland
18 Jan
Poor Linda, she has done so much and she must be devastated. Thank you for this update, tell her that we are all thinking to her. I had to take the decision of not resuscitating for my mother. She was so unwell, I was sad and devastated when I had to tell the doctor to "let her go" but relieved to know she was no more suffering.
4 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
I had to go in the bathroom in the hospital and cry because I didn’t want to be in the room when they turned my mom’s machine off. Thankfully, she lived another nine hours after they disconnected everything, so that removed the “guilt.”
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (472427)
• Switzerland
18 Jan
@FourWalls - I remember that horrible and sad moment, at least my brother was with me and he told me that it was the best to do, as a doctor he knew.
2 people like this
@xFiacre (13199)
• Ireland
18 Jan
@fourwalls How awful for them both. Assure her of my prayers.
5 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
I know she knows we’re thinking about her. I’ve emphasized that whenever I’ve spoken to her.
5 people like this
@1creekgirl (42126)
• United States
18 Jan
I am just so heartbroken for them both. I'm praying God will give her strength and comfort. I know she can't imagine life without him.
5 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
I can’t even imagine what she feels right now.
5 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
I hate all of this…for her, for him, and for everyone who’s getting a dose of flashback to the worst days of their lives, when they had this situation.2 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
I know…and his problems were compounded by what she had to do with arguing with the insurance and facilities. What’s worse? The VA, in their infinitely $#!tty timing, will probably call her next week and tell her how “much” they can help. 
2 people like this
@NJChicaa (121000)
• United States
18 Jan
@FourWalls unfortunately nothing could be done to improve his health and medical status. Linda has been valiant but there wasn't anything more to be done.
4 people like this
@MommyOfEli2013 (84494)
• Rupert, Idaho
18 Jan
Was wondering how they were doing, sorry to hear that is where they are at. I know it cannot be an easy decision. Went through that with both of my grandparents in 2023, I know it is different when it is your other half....but with anyone you love it is not an easy thing to do...
5 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
You’re right, every situation is “different,” with the exception of one thing: it’s VERY hard.
5 people like this
@MommyOfEli2013 (84494)
• Rupert, Idaho
18 Jan
@FourWalls They are all very hard, that is true.
4 people like this
@2ndchances24 (9740)
• Cloverdale, Indiana
18 Jan
Lord be with them both through this time in their lives
cause they both are in some really hard times right now without you.
Our prayers & thoughts are in abundance they can get through this
difficult time cause we know this is the hardest time of any 1's life
to have to go through.
4 people like this
@2ndchances24 (9740)
• Cloverdale, Indiana
19 Jan
@FourWalls share my hugs X & kiss's O with her XOXOXO
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8841)
• United Kingdom
18 Jan
Thank you for the update. It is sad to have to do that sort of thing, even if you know it's for the best. Please let Linda know we're thinking of her and send love.
4 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
I hope she feels up to at least reading the concerns everyone is leaving for her here. It really does help to know people care.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (161759)
• United States
18 Jan
thank you for being our "go between". I have been there where she is, when my first husband was 42. It was quite the ride. However he did not have dementia.
4 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
It’s never easy…you go from, “Okay, what are we going to do once they get out of the hospital” to “I need to call everyone and let them know.” It is “quite the ride,” and not an easy one…wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (117859)
• Anniston, Alabama
18 Jan
I do know exactly how she feels emotionally. God bless both of them.
3 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
When you’ve “been there” you know the pain. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
3 people like this
@FourWalls (70517)
• United States
18 Jan
She said the UTI pain is gone, but she’s just drained from the infection’s effects on the body…not to mention what she’s having to deal with regarding her husband’s care.
2 people like this
@thelme55 (77385)
• Germany
19 Jan
@FourWalls That is good that the pain is gone.
1 person likes this
@Beestring (14836)
• Hong Kong
18 Jan
Thank you for the update. That is heartbreaking. Sending prayers for both of them.
4 people like this
