I Hate Parties
By lilacskies
@lilacskies (4881)
United States
February 18, 2025 12:02pm CST
I hate parties of any and all kinds. I am an introvert and stay away from parties unless I absolutely have to go due to family obligations. For instance, it's my niece's birthday today. She is turning 5. I have had her present ready since December when I bought her Christmas gift which was a necklace at the same time as her birthday gift which is a matching bracelet to go with the necklace.
I have my dress ready. I have to get my hair and makeup done by myself of course. I can't afford to get it done by professionals. The little family party will be held at my brother's house. There is no theme for her birthday. We are all having a meal together and she and her friends are going to run around in the basement while the adults just talk and drink.
I'm going to hang out until she blows out the candles and opens her presents before I hug her and duck out of there. My ex-husband will be attending and some other people I want to avoid. I haven't slept well last night and had been tossing and turning due to insomnia all night, managed four hours of sleep, and woke up early due to the stress of seeing the people I want to avoid.
Otherwise, I've been having an okay day and my health problems are manageable. I am feeling tired due to lack of proper sleep though and am experiencing some brain fog. We should've held this party over the weekend, but my sister-in-law was adamant that we have it on the very day that her daughter was born. Fine. So be it.
12 people like this
8 responses
@TheHorse (223423)
• Walnut Creek, California
18 Feb
@lilacskies Oh oh. Do you have a picture?
3 people like this
@lilacskies (4881)
• United States
18 Feb
@TheHorse Yes, but I won't post it. I don't post pictures online or provide personal identifying information due to privacy concerns.
2 people like this
@Orson_Kart (7035)
• United Kingdom
18 Feb
Parties are great if you’re with people you’re happy to be with, otherwise it can be unpleasant.
I still don’t understand why your family allow your ex to be involved with all that has gone on. Like it or not, they should have taken sides, and it should have been yours. They must realise that your condition is partly down to them.
I hope it goes as well as it can for you, and your ex eventually gets excluded from future get togethers.
3 people like this
@Orson_Kart (7035)
• United Kingdom
19 Feb
@lilacskies It’s a shame that your one safe place isn’t actually safe. You are doing great and I hope you get out of there soon. I think your life will suddenly be much better when you can dictate who you see and when on your own terms.
Best wishes!
2 people like this
@lilacskies (4881)
• United States
19 Feb
Yes, I agree with you. My family considers him one more son and he is welcome into their home and lives anytime. I have no choice since I am not properly financially independent enough to move out and not witness this behavior. Yes, they know that I am sick due to prolonged narcissistic abuse, but they make excuses and that complicates matters even more. I just do my best to avoid them as much as possible when it's all of them together against me because I feel so alone at those times. The thing is I do love my family because they keep a roof over my head, but this issue is the main reason I am trying to move out and cut off any connections leading back to my ex-husband. Thank you. I doubt that will happen because he is a part of the family, but I will be leaving one day.
3 people like this
@lilacskies (4881)
• United States
19 Feb
@Orson_Kart Thank you. I will be moving out in the future and not having to see certain people in my life. I need to get a full-time job first. I have an interview coming up iu a little over two weeks now.
1 person likes this
@lilacskies (4881)
• United States
19 Feb
Yes, I just woke up half an hour ago. Feeling a bit refreshed today.
2 people like this
@lilacskies (4881)
• United States
19 Feb
@kareng I have a migraine though, and it's been throbbing all day!
2 people like this
@sjvg1976 (41713)
• Delhi, India
18 Feb
I also don't like going to the parties unless it is necessary. I am also an introvert and don't like to face people. But I want to leave this habit, want to meet with people, and want to have lots of friends and acquaintances. I have been working on the same for the last few months.
3 people like this
@sjvg1976 (41713)
• Delhi, India
18 Feb
@lilacskies I can understand how difficult it is for you to face people whom you hate.
3 people like this
@lilacskies (4881)
• United States
18 Feb
@sjvg1976 There a few people there I want to avoid, but I only hate one person. My ex-husband.
2 people like this
@lilacskies (4881)
• United States
18 Feb
I don't want to change myself. I'm perfectly happy with who I am personality-wise. I love being an introvert. It's all I've ever known. It's who I am as an individual. The party won't be until 5pm so there's that. I'm resting in the meantime. Not looking forward to it, but oh well. Gotta wish the birthday girl a happy birthday.
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (71555)
• United States
18 Feb
I feel you, I’m an introvert, too. A lot of the myLotters I’ve met might not believe that, but it’s two hours of chat and lunch, then “I’ve peopled enough today, gotta go.” 
3 people like this
@lilacskies (4881)
• United States
18 Feb
I'm surprised you manage two hours of chat. I can barely manage two minutes before I feel squirmy and want to get away fast. I end up hiding in the bathroom most times, but even that doesn't work out because people keep banging on the door to be let in so they can do their business. There is a blindspot in the backyard that I like to hide in, but my sister-in-law's brother smokes there so that's out. I end up just standing awkwardly in the corner and wait to duck out for good.
3 people like this
@FourWalls (71555)
• United States
18 Feb
@lilacskies — well, it is just me and one other person (except with Scarred4Lyfe, where it was also the great Scar!!), as opposed to a room full of people.
3 people like this
@RasmaSandra (82610)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
18 Feb
I hope you enjoyed yourself and had some fun.
3 people like this
@much2say (57214)
• Los Angeles, California
19 Feb
Interesting the party was on a Tuesday - that's kinda hard on the guests. We often had family birthday gatherings on a later date - always the weekend - whenever it was convenient for everyone at the same time. No matter what you felt, you made it and were part of the happy party memories for the family and birthday girl. Off the checklist now - you did good . . . hope it made for a better night's sleep 
.
.2 people like this
@much2say (57214)
• Los Angeles, California
21 Feb
@lilacskies Ah, yah, I know those controlling type family members 
. Sorry about your sleep . . . I don't think I've gotten good sleep in the past decade 
. Hope you are better today from that migraine!
. Sorry about your sleep . . . I don't think I've gotten good sleep in the past decade . Hope you are better today from that migraine!1 person likes this
@lilacskies (4881)
• United States
19 Feb
Yes, weekday party on a school night with the whole class present plus parents due to my sister-in-law's controlling nature. Thank you. It was pleasant enough. I stayed out of the way as usual. I didn't sleep well last night, so maybe that's why I have a migraine today. No brain fog though.
2 people like this
@lilacskies (4881)
• United States
21 Feb
@much2say Yes, she is a textbook narcissist so I am trying to avoid getting on her bad side until I can get away safety and cut her off completely from my life. Thank you. I went to bed early and even managed to wake up early today so that's good at least. Do you have insomnia? Do you take any sleeping pills? I can't sleep even with sleeping pills! Thank you! The migraine lasted all morning and noon, but was gone around 1pm today.
@lilacskies (4881)
• United States
19 Feb
At least you don't mind going to them. Do you give any gifts?
2 people like this
