Celebrating a birthday early
By Judy Evans
@JudyEv (350868)
Rockingham, Australia
April 14, 2025 7:35pm CST
Our son is married and lives in Ireland with his wife. Hopefully, he will come out to see us later this year. His wife won’t fly and we’re no longer able to visit them. They don’t have any children.
My sister-in-law is in much the same boat. Her son lives in London with his wife and two girls. My SIL and her husband are both in their 80s so travel insurance is much more expensive now. Her son and family have been out to visit and we had a lovely meal with them all two nights ago. It’s only as you get older that you realise that distance can be a real drawback.
We had an early birthday party for the youngest who turns 4 shortly. The child’s grandparents are to the left of the photo.
22 people like this
15 responses
@FourWalls (73601)
• United States
15 Apr
I think that’s the main reason I don’t move to Florida, the mileage between me and the family. And I can drive, it’s not half a world separating us!
Do you get to “face time” or video chat with your son?
8 people like this
@snowy22315 (187792)
• United States
15 Apr
Your son hasn't been to Australia in years he really should visit. I am really upset with mine because he won't make the effort. However, it really doesn't do any good to be upset. It just creates emotional distance sigh!
7 people like this
@allknowing (143741)
• India
15 Apr
Is that not obvious that the child's grand parents are on the left of the photo?
That bottle in the photo made me curious.
I gave up travel after my accident in 2006. With a passion for travel I do miss it
That bottle in the photo made me curious.
I gave up travel after my accident in 2006. With a passion for travel I do miss it5 people like this
The child has a bottle at night. Ours not to question why. 
@sallypup (63759)
• Centralia, Washington
15 Apr
That's a sweet photo. You are right. Travel is a huge concern when you get older. Even here in the states, my daughter lives many states away from us. We see her physically maybe every 7 years. Hubby warned her that is not a smart idea about the time frame as we're aging.
4 people like this
@Orson_Kart (7274)
• United Kingdom
15 Apr
Judy, I read all the comments and replies on this thread, and it’s brought a tear to my eye. You are such a lovely person, it’s a disgrace that your DIL has treated you in this way. Personally I think your son should ignore his wife’s protestations and visit you and Vince and allow you to visit him. When you are no longer here, he will have a lifetime of regret. I’m so sorry for you. 
x
x1 person likes this
@Orson_Kart (7274)
• United Kingdom
14h
@JudyEv She needs a good shake. I think the term “autism” is used too freely these days as an excuse for bad behaviour. Your son sounds very ‘hen-pecked”, but as he lives with her, then I guess he just likes to keep the peace.
Does she have a mother, or any other family near, and does she treat them the same?
I hope he does visit later this year and maybe more often in the future, because it’s a bit of a trek now for you now that you Vince are getting older and Vince has health issues.
Wishing you the best.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (350868)
• Rockingham, Australia
21h
Thanks for the kind words. They're bringing a tear to my eye now. 
I don't usually say so much but sometimes it helps to share things with those 'once removed' from it all.
We could visit again but it just makes it so much harder on our son for him to have to divide his time between us. One good thing is that they get on well when we're not in the picture. Although she might be autistic, we found her very manipulative from the very beginning. Our son does almost everything - cooking, cleaning - but who are we to judge? As long as he's happy - that's really all we can ask for.
I don't usually say so much but sometimes it helps to share things with those 'once removed' from it all.
We could visit again but it just makes it so much harder on our son for him to have to divide his time between us. One good thing is that they get on well when we're not in the picture. Although she might be autistic, we found her very manipulative from the very beginning. Our son does almost everything - cooking, cleaning - but who are we to judge? As long as he's happy - that's really all we can ask for.1 person likes this
@JudyEv (350868)
• Rockingham, Australia
11h
@Orson_Kart I'm glad someone else thinks she needs a good shake! 
She has alienated her own family too apart from a couple. In a way I think our son does go along for the sake of peace but he seems happy and has his own interests. He's not entirely under the thumb but I think he really believes the autism bit, as I do really, but she does seem to play on it to get exactly what she wants when she wants it.
Thanks for the kind words and hug. It's really appreciated. We could fuss a lot more but I'm sure he's doing the best he can so we'll just be grateful for whatever time we get with him.
She has alienated her own family too apart from a couple. In a way I think our son does go along for the sake of peace but he seems happy and has his own interests. He's not entirely under the thumb but I think he really believes the autism bit, as I do really, but she does seem to play on it to get exactly what she wants when she wants it.
Thanks for the kind words and hug. It's really appreciated. We could fuss a lot more but I'm sure he's doing the best he can so we'll just be grateful for whatever time we get with him.1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (114512)
• Marion, Ohio
15 Apr
I hope you get to see him soon. Distance does make things harder
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (83909)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
15 Apr
That is a wonderful family photo. Nice memories, Glad your son will be able to visit,
1 person likes this
@xFiacre (13451)
• Ireland
15 Apr
@judyev I’m aiming to do as much travel as I can before I’m 70 - that’s when insurance starts to cost as much as the trip itself. I do hope your son gets over for a visit. My sister-in-law in France won’t fly. She even refused to work in an office that overlooked the runway in Paris. It was only in fear and trembling that she came on a ferry.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (27082)
• Singapore
15 Apr
My son is also in London and we visited him in 2016.
In fact, he has been away from us - over five years years in Australia and twelve in London
He visits us once in a few years.
Though Hope Springs Eternal to quote Alexander Pope, it looks not easy to make another trip.
Thanks to video calls, we need not miss those who are not staying nearby.
Lovely get-together to cherish.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (186587)
• United States
15 Apr
What a cute picture. It's too bad that there has to be such a distance from your loved ones.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (350868)
• Rockingham, Australia
21h
It's not so important when you're younger but we're starting to feel the 'tyranny of distance' now.
@Beestring (15192)
• Hong Kong
15 Apr
Hope your son can fly to Australia more often to see you.
Yes, as we grow older, we cannot fly. But fortunately, now, we can see our friends and family members who are apart on the phone.
2 people like this
@Marilynda1225 (84287)
• United States
9h
I can certainly understand the getting older and not traveling. I was talking ot my uncle the other day (he's in his 80s) and he was saying the same thing. He and my aunt have grown grandchildren who live a distance away and they feel that visiting is harder for them now. I'm getting there myself with the whole travel thing
