What age do you think is too old to have a baby?
By megs85
@megs85 (3142)
Australia
December 7, 2006 3:43pm CST
You hear about women, over 60 having a child, and I cant help but wonder if it is unfair on the child. I am not trying to say that an older woman is not as good a parent as a younger woman or anything like that, but how can most have the energy and time to raise and care for a child? Just think that child will be a teenager when their parent is in their 70's or 80's. Not trying to be morbid, but most people are lucky to live to that age. My mum was 41 when she had my brother and I see all the time how tired and run down she is with him as a teen when all she wants is to relax, enjoy her life and enjoy her grandchildren. Im not saying that she regrets having him, only that she feels she is "too old" to be raising a child.
10 people like this
105 responses
@jbb316 (1779)
• United States
7 Dec 06
I agree. I think parents should have their children before their 40's. My mom chose to have children at an early age so they would be all grown up and she would still be young enough to travel and enjoy her golden years. She is 45 now and both of her children are out of the house. I see her enjoying her grandchild and after she has all her fun with him and spoils him she can give him back and rest for a few days. She is not even that old and running after a small child wears her out. I couldn't imagine what she would feel like if she had given birth in her 40's.
1 person likes this
@devilsneck (39)
• India
8 Dec 06
i agree parents should have a child before 40's coz' having a child after 40 could be very tough for the parents to grow up the child.The child may also feel a complex for having such old parents who cannot play with him/her for long time or be with him/her.
@cariendup (170)
• South Africa
8 Dec 06
My opinion is that ur nor better or worse when ur a very old mom, but the thing is that u wont be able to do all the things u would want 2 do with ur child, thus i think it is bit unfair towards the child. But, I also think that the proper age for having and or not having children, depends on each person's cultural believe. Each culture is different and believes in different things, and have different ways and morals. So its actually an open discussion.
1 person likes this
@shrutisingh (186)
• India
8 Dec 06
i think by the age of 35 a woman should complete her family as it takes too much of effort and energy to raise a child and after 35 the energy levels strat going down,it's just not fair for the child if the mother cannot participate in the childs life actively..so i think 35 is the best
@ghanumanth (31)
• India
8 Dec 06
the best age for have a baby is 25 to 27 is prefect because they adjusted for that atmosphere and they physically and mentally balanced.
1 person likes this
@luckypuppy (49)
• India
8 Dec 06
i agree to ur opinion that if a woman had a child at the age of 40's then she will have to suffer a lot with that child, if he is so naughty. i think the best age to have a child is in the 30's.then the woman will be mentally grown up....
@DeenaD (2684)
• United States
8 Dec 06
I agree with the poster who said menopause was the natural limit. I had three children when I was young, and then a fourth at 38, and it drove me absolutely NUTS when people treated me like some kind of medical marvel. My son is an active one-year-old now, and I'm 39 and I have more enery than ever, and in fact I do think I'd be up to the challenge again. Haven't you heard, people are living longer, healthier lives than ever before, and certainly longer and healthier lives than our grandmothers, who routinely gave birth well into their 40s. Forty is the new thirty!
@4monsters4me (2569)
• United States
8 Dec 06
I think having a teenager would wear anyone out, despite their age, lol. My parents were in their 40s when I was a teen and they were worn. (my mom was 29 and my dad 30 when I was born).
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
8 Dec 06
LOL, great answer, nice to hear a different perspective, and o listen to someone's personal experience. I still think 39 is reasonably young, when I said too old I was referring to grandmothers over the age of 60 that have been plastered across news headlines globally for having another child. My mother was 41 when she had my brother, now she's 55ish (I wont go into too much detail or she'll kill me lol) and has to deal with an unruly teenager. She just seems so tired and worn out. Rather than enjoying her three grandchildren- my son and my sisters two kids, she has to still raise a child.
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
8 Dec 06
Because as a women ages, her energy goes down a little. I was raising two grandkids at 40, and I was exhausted, and my patience was stressed to the limit. It was so much easier when I was younger. Also, it isn't fair to the children to have old parents. They cannot do a lot of physical things with kids, as young parents can. And, they may die, before a child had enough time with them.
@jamiesmom (240)
• United States
7 Dec 06
I think no later then early 40's even thats pushing it I am 34 and am having my second child and people around me are all acting like Im too old. I don't think I am too old but I do wish I would have had my children in my late 20's
@Ambur25 (1006)
• United States
7 Dec 06
I agree. Parents can be "too old" to have children. Simply because of the energy level. At the time they should be enjoying life, going to the theater, going places, instead their at home raising a small child. Which is fine, if that's what they want.
I do think it's unfair, in a sense, to the child. However, that child could possibly be raised in a very loving home. It's hard to say.
I supopse it's for the parents to decide if they're too old or not. The thing I would worry mostly about is the medical issues associated with an older women becoming pregnant. After the age of 36, various medical problems can occur for both mother and child, during and after delivery. The risk of down syndrome more than doubles after that age.
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
8 Dec 06
I think having a child mid thorties to early forties is fine as long as the woman feels comfortable in her health, body, life and so forth. Its the sixty something year old grandmas you read about having more children that worries me, more than likely these kids will grow up to be raised by brothers and sisters.
@sj_chaudhry (1537)
• Canada
7 Dec 06
yes this is a right but according to our religious faith if any soul is bound to come to this earth then no boundaries can stop him to come. so if anybody have child in their late ages then i think they should enjoy then may be it is a kind of God blessing.
@wenfri (1185)
• Canada
8 Dec 06
I can't women over 60 are less able to care for a child Just that they get tired faster. energy levels are lower
I had 3 sons and was all done by 26. they are all grown now and have 2 grankids One of each.
My brother started at 42 with his 1st (shock) He is 1 year older than I am I will be thinking retirement and he will be thinking university
Poor guy Feel sorry for him when hi daughter reaches teenager He hasn't a clue LOL
Wendy
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
8 Dec 06
I agree with your comment Wendy. I think a lot of people don't realise what they are getting into when they leave having children until later in life. I couldnt imagine doing what I'm doing with my seven month old son later on in life. I'd be exhausted, and then to think of all the glory of the teenage years that stilllie ahead of me. I was a horrid teen and I'm expecting the same back as punishment lol...
@HeavenlyAngelic84 (62)
• United States
8 Dec 06
I think that 40 is a little to old to try be having a baby. Not only that but all of the risk that are invovled. After the age of 35 you risk having a baby born with down symdrome and varies other conditions. I dont think a woman in her 60s needs to be having baby thats just way to old.I feel that if you hould have had a baby by lets say 37.I never wanted to be old when I had/have kids. I want to be done by the time Im 26.
@mydragonfly71 (84)
• United States
8 Dec 06
Let me briefly correct you on that statement. After the age of 34, a woman's chance INCREASES for having a child with special needs. I have a child with Down syndrome. I gave birth to her when I was 24 years old. The incidence is higher between ages 20 to 34, but the chances are higher over age 34. This is primarily because more women give birth between the ages of 20 and 34 than over 34. Additionally, Down syndrome isn't a condition. It's a chromosomal defect. It is caused by the 21st pair of chromosomes in either the father or the mother failing to split at the time of conception. 1 in every 800 to 1000 babies are born with Down syndrome.
Just thought I would take the time to educate correctly, please don't take offense to that.
@leedug (920)
• United States
8 Dec 06
I really think it is about personal choice. If a woman feels she is ready in her 20's the so be it. Also, if a woman feels that she is ready in her 40's then that is okay too. There are several women that are grandparents raising children and do a wonderful job, but then there are parents even in their 30's that feel run down because of the day to day hassles of children. Then there are women who have tried for decades just to have a child and are finally blessed when they are older. I think it just boils down to personal choice.
@4monsters4me (2569)
• United States
8 Dec 06
That's true. I'm about to turn 30 and I am so worn out all I want to do is sleep. I thought if I started young I would be able to enjoy my kids and have energy but it doesn't always work that way, you know.
And my cousins tried for decades to have kids. They finally adopted 3 kids in the last 5 years. They were in their mid 40s when they got them (as infants). They are awesome parents and seem to have tons of energy. I'm glad they were finally blessed with children.
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
7 Dec 06
Any age is good to have a baby, until you can't take care of yourself and your baby.
@ildikobutyurka (851)
• Romania
8 Dec 06
WELL, NOT ALL THE WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT! II was 35 when I had my first child, and now after three years i thiink that it would be good having one other one! I personally think that I have much much more patience with my child now, than I would have years ago. Young people are more concerned with their lives, to look good, to go to places, enjoy life as it is trying out everything crazy. And I think that is good, you should live your life while you are young, experience as many things as you can, travel a lot - if you like - but when you have a baby you must stay home to provide a secure feeling to her/him. some people, especially the young parents take their child everywhere with them, evern to parties. So, I don't know, maybe at 45 is the lastest when you should have a child ... but it really depends on the person.
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
8 Dec 06
"Young people are more concerned with their lives"- I am twenty one years old and a new mother, I would say that that statement is a load of $$$$ sorry if I offend you. By older I was referring to those 60+. I do no "crazy" things as you call them and am way more concerned with my son than my own life. I gave up university, something I had to work really hard to get into, to provide care and stability for my child...
@Random1 (212)
• United States
7 Dec 06
My mom was 45 when she had me and at times I really feel that it was unfair to me. I pretty much grew up an only child because all my siblings where so much older than me they were out of the house by the time I was 10. I also have had feelings of how unfair it is that some of my siblings will have known my parents for 50-60 years by the time they die but I will have only known them 30. All the extra time they had with them. I think a woman deciding to have a child should take into account her age. It is a decision that needs to be really carefully thought out and the child should be taken into consideration. It's a tough thing.
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
7 Dec 06
Thanks for sharing your experience, I imagine it must be difficult knowing what you do. I agree, I think women (and men- it takes two to tango after all :D) need to think things through a little more. My brother is missing out on a lot of the things my sister and I got- like time and energy...
@noyleticia (21)
• Malaysia
8 Dec 06
I think as long as woman have a 'period' then the problem to have a baby in old age are not at all.But as we know GOD create us in the mysteries way.So in human being,60th is not too old having baby.But make sure the baby know his/her father..nah you know..
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
8 Dec 06
But don't you think that there are many things a sixty year old parent cannot offer a child? And what about the fact that they will probably not live to see their children grow to adulthood? Don't you think thats a selfish thing to do? I appreciate your opinion, but I like a good debate :D