Serious Disussion about Ex Wife
By jarsofclay
@jarsofclay (210)
United States
December 12, 2006 5:06pm CST
I have a problem with my ex wife ... since we seperated and divorced 5 years ago she seems she can do whatever she wants with my son... every single year she moves back and forth from michigan to oklahoma...which makes it very hard for me to be able to see him ..but thats just half of it ...our marriage ended because she cheated on me with some shop lifting loser. Later she found some other loser guy that kept having relations with his stepfather, she married that guy....you can imagine my worry there for my son's sake. well anyway she kept moving around alot during that marriage back and forth all around..and I wanted him for christmas this year, last year we moved to oklahoma to be close to my son and she up and left in october and never gave me one indignation that she was leaving again, I didnt find out until after january when the principal of my son's school asked my brother in michigan if my son was his. anyway my mom finally got ahold of her husband yesterday ...he told my mom that she had another affair and moved back to oklahoma 48 days ago....she never tells me when she moves or where to. she just picks up and moves anywhere she pleases not even caring about any of her 3 kids now....I live in missouri and am able to go home back to michigan for the first time in 3 years to see my family and was supposed to have my son and then she pulls this crap .... I am at my witts end...my son has been shipped around year after year ever since he was 2 years old, he is now 7 he has no stability in his life, My wife and I just want to scream,,,does anyone have any suggestions in what could possibly be done about this garbage. the only time i ever get to talk to him is on a very speratic occassion when she has a phone ..luckily i dont ever miss a birthday ..callwise..I dont know I just dont know what to do!
1 person likes this
11 responses
@Silverchic (396)
• Australia
13 Dec 06
Do you have any custody of your son? Or just visiting rights? I don't know about the laws in the US but I know here in Australia there is a law (not sure on the fine points so anyone feel free to correct me) that states if there is joint custody or even (again, I think) visiting rights then neither parent is allowed to move a certain distance with the child without prior discussion/agreement with the other parent.
But either way - I agree with most of the other posts here that you should definitely file for SOLE custody! She doesn't sound like a very fit mother!
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@Silverchic (396)
• Australia
14 Dec 06
So technically you have the right to take her back to court because she is constantly breaking these laws? If she has not had your agreement to move your son around then you are legally able to dispute her custody agreement! Go for it!
@jarsofclay (210)
• United States
14 Dec 06
I have joint custody which is the same as visiting rights also it is the same in australia as here ...she does have to discuss with me and have my permission.. and I have to agree she isnt a fit mother...
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@Acts238girl (2087)
• United States
13 Dec 06
Have you tried to get full custody of your son?I not trying to sound ugly but it sounds like as much as she sleeps around and brings all these strange men into your sons life would be grounds for a unfit parent.You said she moves around alot to and I know that can't be good for that little boy.So why not try for custody?
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
13 Dec 06
You would think with all the men in her life, she would be happy to send her son to his father. I would take her to court, you did not mention if you pay child-support. There should be something in your decree about your son, and what regulation's both parent's have with regard to the son.
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@jarsofclay (210)
• United States
14 Dec 06
Yes I do pay child support but I also am behind..I just wished i could afford a lawyer
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@GardenGerty (160665)
• United States
13 Dec 06
So when are you going to pursue custondy of your son, it sounds as if you have his best interest more at heart. What does the divorce decree say about custody and visitation? Is she in compliance? I know you cannot do anything about kids that are not yours, but you need to do something about this one.
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@jarsofclay (210)
• United States
14 Dec 06
I have joint custody which dont mean crap. she is supposed to give me writen notice and my permission to even move anywhere...we are thinking about filing with the courts when I go back up to michigan here in a few weeks...all our case stuff is in michigan..how inconvenient is that ...I live in missouri and she lives well she lives where ever she feels like it at the time as you can see. I might just file for custody and at the same time file kidnapping charges...either way if the courts favor her in the custody battle .. I win in the kidnapping charges where she would lose all parental rights totally.
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@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
13 Dec 06
I too think you should file for custody, this is not a good enviroment for a kid and also he would bebetterof staying at the same place, I am sure a judge will see that. maybe then she will wake up and smell the coffie.
Did u marry very young, coz it sounds as though she is not very mature and now is acting out in some way?
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@jarsofclay (210)
• United States
14 Dec 06
I believe I was 20 and she was 19 when we married ...our marriage didnt even last a year before she had an affair. we were together for 3 years total and she was faithful all those years ..except in marriage..go figure that one out.
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@JustSimplyLissa (547)
• United States
13 Dec 06
Personally, I would get a record of all she's doing, and fight for sole custody of your child. It seems she is providing a very unstable home.
Do something about it. Don't keep letting her do it to you.
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@SamDontBeStupid (60)
• United States
13 Dec 06
Yes, I agree. Don't let her do that, for your own sake and your sons'. Obviously she's not an honest person, considering her many 'affairs'; and you don't want your son to pick up that trait...
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@Bayleigh (141)
• United States
13 Dec 06
Im suggesting getting full custody as well. Your right about stability, all children need that. They need a stable well maintained routine in order to develop. And the guys that she is subjecting your kids too is rediculous! I would file a petition to the courts and take them home with you. No judge in their right minds will allow a mother to treat her children in that manner, especially if they see a father who is so concerned as you seem to be. She sounds pretty selfish and desperate for a relationship, your children need better guidance than that. There is more to the world than being in a relationship, so far your kids only see that about life. Its not okay to pack up and move when you get the notion, unless your a gypsy with no kids! Your ex-wife needs some serious therapy so she can love herself and your kids.
@jarsofclay (210)
• United States
14 Dec 06
She is pretty selfish ..not one time in her life has she taken responsibility for anyone but to please her own self.
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@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
14 Dec 06
Talk to your wife and if she agrees with it you need to bring your little boy home to live with you and give him a stable home to live in or he is going to be messed up and have some serious problems she is not letting him connect and make friends or anyhting before she is off on one of her moving whims. It cost alot of money to move and that money is probably needed by your son for things he needs. You can apply for legal aid to get help or even set up payment plans with a lawyer. Sir you need to do something before your child gets seriosly hurt if he hasn't already your ex sounds like she is with alot of men and no telling what these men can bring in disease wise or a tramatic experience or anything else so If you truly love your sone get him out of the hell he is in living with his mother yeah he may miss her because even though she does what she does she is his mother but he needs you and your stability and your family to help him. Don't wait any longer.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
13 Dec 06
Have you ever considered filing for custody of your son? It is apparent that your exwife is not giving your son the stability he deserves. You sound as if you are a stable person and care about your son. You should consult a lawyer to see what your options are.
@jarsofclay (210)
• United States
14 Dec 06
Yes I have concidered it and my wife and I would love to take my son home with us ..we also have 2 other girls and they adore my son and my son loves his sisters...I am a very stable person.. I always have a good paying job and I dont move around at all.
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@jillybeans (536)
• United States
13 Dec 06
Why dont you file for custody ? It's obvioius she is not providing a stable home for him.
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@infinity888 (74)
• Philippines
13 Dec 06
i agree with the person who adviced you to file a custody case. it is the next best step to take in this case, you have all the grounds to subject her to a custody trial and if what you say about her is true, then i am sure (and i am sure a lot of people here will agree) that you will win the case. a child needs to grow in a healthy, loving environment and your ex is not providing that to your son. come on, what are you waiting for? don't waste another year before going to the proper authorities. do it now.
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@jarsofclay (210)
• United States
14 Dec 06
yes that is one of the biggest issues is that my son grow in a healthy environment where he has stability not being moved around every time the wind blows
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