Wild Child in a Store - Who should discipline the child?
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
United States
December 15, 2006 1:31pm CST
Many times children come with their parents to the store that I worked in. Often times the children were well behaved, were quiet, and had the best manners. Other times the chidren were left to run amuck. There were children who would let the water run onto the floor from the water cooler. They would climb on the chairs, jump off them, or stand in them. There was a variety of ambulatory equipment on display and the kids would think that they could play with them. Too many times I would have to tell the child to stop playing with the equipment. I would do it in a nice tone so not to offend the parent or the child. It is not my place to be the disciplinarian for the child, but it needed to be done before someone got hurt. Why does it seem that more people let their kids run wild in a public place?
I recall times when my kids were little that we entered a store only to have to turn around and leave because their behavior was inappropriate. They quickly learned to behave in such situations or they would not be able to go the next time.
4 people like this
54 responses
@LovingIt (5396)
• United States
15 Dec 06
I've noticed that as well. I was mortified if my children acted up like that, but so many parents act like there is nothing wrong with it. I don't understand why the parents don't stop the children from doing these things. It shouldn't come down to the store workers having to dicipline the children.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
16 Dec 06
I was worried that they would say something to me for asking the kids not to play with the equipment.
@shooie (4984)
• United States
16 Dec 06
Well am a bad person I guess...lol There was this child in wal-mart pitching a fit....you could here him all over the store...so we ended up over by them and he was in the shopping cart and his mom stepped around the corner as we rolled into that isle and left him there in the cart scream still so I looked at him and said you need to hush in a tone. Not hateful one. He got quiet and I boogied out of there fast. Later in the store heard mommy mommy there she is but I boggied again...lol
2 people like this
@gau_veldt (63)
• Canada
16 Dec 06
Every situation is different but it would seem to me that prolonged abandonment is something to alert security to and have a call placed to social services on. Also if the children are damaging things or tampering with equipment it's time to get the police involved. The parents are ultimately responsible for their childrens' conduct.
1 person likes this
@shemb1 (464)
• Sri Lanka
16 Dec 06
First for all I want to say something , that is "your a good parent" and I think your kids same as yours. But we can't accept from others? because we all are differnet.
I believe parents have big resposibilities to learn good deciplines to their kids thats big responsibility. And also teacher also have to that in their period. But now a days we can't find those kinds of parents and teachers because they all busy that is why kids going wild in present time.
I think this is not a fault of kids, this is problem of parents beacaus they dont have time to learn such a good habits manners, deciplines to their kids. So I think parents shold take 95% resposibility for this.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
17 Dec 06
I do not blame the kids. They only do what the parents let them. When I would see that parent not able to control the situation I would have to intervene and ask the child to stop. I can only recall a couple of times that I had to walk over and take the child by the hand and walk them over to where their parent was sitting and ask them to sit next to their parent. I would then offer a book for them to read to keep them occupied.
@jolala (70)
• United States
16 Dec 06
I agree with you. It shouldn't be blamed on the children (a lot of the time). The parents are the ones who teach them.
As far as teachers go, there is only so much they can do. All the rules and regulations keep a lot of them from disciplining to much because sometimes they just can't. It's really sad.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
17 Dec 06
Yes, but if the child could hurt themselves from playing on equipment or damage the equipment, they need to be asked not to do this. When it becomes apparent that the child is not listening to the parent they need to be told by another person that it is inappropriate and asked to stop.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
17 Dec 06
Sometimes the parent will offer to come back. If they were being fit for an item I would offer to occupy the child while they were being fit.
@frugalmoneymanager (113)
• United States
16 Dec 06
It drives me crazy when I see kids running around a store, crying, screaming, and pulling things off shelves.
But, I also understand the parent's reticence in disciplining the children. Everytime you turn around there's something in the news about a parent being arrested for spanking a child in public.
Now, I'm not saying that spanking is the only way to discipline a child. On the contrary, I believe that spanking should be a las resort.
But, it's not like there is a corner or a room in the store that a parent can use for time out. There is only so much that can be done with a child who won't calm down.
When my children were younger, I have had to leave a cart full of groceries to take the child outside because she wouldn't mind. And, it's no fun to do.
People stare at you like you must be kidnapping the child, or beating her because she is putting up such a big fuss.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
17 Dec 06
I would never spank a child in public. But, firm affirmation of what is going to happen when they get home is in order. Taking away privileges is a biggie in my eye. Reward charts have worked too.
@jerseypink (176)
• United States
16 Dec 06
The mother or father SHOULD discipline the child, but if they don't I think the store owner or worker should have every right to speak up too to the child and the parent to prevent other customers getting upset and possibly losing business.
1 person likes this
@imsandrad (24)
• United States
16 Dec 06
I think you should ALWAYS approach the parent, not the child. Cover your butt.
1 person likes this
@owlwings (43910)
• Cambridge, England
16 Dec 06
It is really the parent's responsibility to discipline the child and, while I would think it OK for the staff to tell the child directly in the first instance, the discipline should then be immediately made the parents responsibility. If the parent then continued to allow the child to misbehave, they should then be politely but very firmly asked to leave.
Many managers would not, perhaps, like that policy because it could be seen as turning away potential customers. On the other hand, one never knows how much custom one loses by putting off other customers who leave without buying because of the unruly kids.
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
16 Dec 06
Yep, those were the days. But nowadays some parents just let their children go a little bit too far.
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
16 Dec 06
I worked retail and have noticed that parents do not care...mind you, not all of them. But it is the ones that do come in that make you roll your eyes when another comes in wondering if you are going to have to babysit again.
I do NOT let my children behave this way in public. And my children know that if I have to squeeze their hand to remind them of their manners, I will have something to say to them when I get to the car. More so...if I have to leave because they can not act appropriately, they will be spending time in their room thinking about why it was wrong and what the appropriate behavior is. LOL There have been times I have even made them write me a list of right and wrongs. I know that to some this may seem harsh. But you know...my kids do not run amuck in a store. :)
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
16 Dec 06
I wish that everyone would do this with their children. You are doing a great job Tia!
@imsandrad (24)
• United States
16 Dec 06
If the parent is nearby, I would probably say something like, "Would you please have them stop that. I would hate to see them get hurt." Or on a more harsh note, "You will be held financially responsible for anything they break."
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
16 Dec 06
My mom did that to me as well, if i didnt behave it was back in the car and we went home. the next time i thought twice about how i behaved in the store.
the parents today let there kids get away with tooo much (not all)
1 person likes this
@chingyieng (248)
•
16 Dec 06
Times have change... Parents should be responsible in the discipline of the child. These days due to issues of child abuse and ways of raising children, the "traditional" way of disciplining a child with the "cane/rod" or spanking is not used anymore... Those were v. effective methods during my era as a child. Threats are useless once they learn that you won't really do what u threathened them you would... there are many other ways of punishing a child but it's not easy to make it work. I have 2 kids. I know it is not easy. Reasoning and explaining sometimes help... but they will need to be old enough to understand it first. Using threat carefully is quite effective but if they test you, well, you will need to honour your threat in order for them to learn to "think" that you are serious.... believe me they will test you, sooner or later. :-)
@coolcager (496)
• Costa Rica
16 Dec 06
lol shout at them and kick them out of the store so that when they cry that is there lesson. And when they come back look at them with a stare. and then they will not do it. but only in front of you. and do that without there parents. hehe. you cant teach them to behave so easily. you must get angry 1st before they do hehe.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
16 Dec 06
I would never go that far. But, I will scorn the children in front of their parents to let them know that they are out of control.
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
16 Dec 06
I'm a new mother and if my child were to act in an inappropriate manner in a public place such as a store, they would be told off, after we had left the place.
I detest when parents let their children wander off and do as they please. Not only is it dangerous for their child, but it is dangerous for others. Young children cannot be held accountable for their actions, they are merely a reflection of their parent's disciplinary skills (of course ALL children act up now and again, but I'm talking about kids that routinely run amok with no repercussions or intervention from their mum and dad)...
@tsprabhu (705)
• India
16 Dec 06
I too have seen some children doing this! But what I feel is thats their nature of behavior... They behave this way when they come to a new place, like a store or similar places. This wont be existing always, because a child will behave like that once in a while... But we feel this some times irritating as we would be busy with some other job. Their parents may be sometimes ignorant too. They may not know that the child's attitude is not good and must be tought to behave properly. Anyway children are capable of learning things quickly. So a piece of advice can be more than enough..
1 person likes this
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
16 Dec 06
I totally agree with you. I dislike going to big stores on Sundays because I think the parents just take their little darlings to them to have fun and enjoy themselves. It is their day out and the parents let them run wild. I have often told children to behave themselves and stop running around the aisles and I didn't give a hoot if their parents heard me.
1 person likes this
