sardar jokes...
By krisnambu
@krisnambu (111)
India
December 16, 2006 1:20am CST
SARDAR reported for his university final examination, which consists of "Yes/No" type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails.
Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approaches his and asks what is going on.
Santa replies, "I'm rechecking my answers and I don't think I did very good."
2 people like this
37 responses
@anjalisk2005 (1492)
• India
16 Dec 06
Race to the Sun:
Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.
One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."
"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."
And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."
1 person likes this
@kaliputran (134)
• India
16 Dec 06
i dont know why everybody is teasing sardars. are they not human beings.............
@AnilJangra (5)
• India
16 Dec 06
Its not that sardars are not human. Offcourse they are, but its just a matter of joke. Sardars are always loveable. They have a great tolerance level and they don't get upset easily when someone make fun of them. People just try to reach the limits of that tolerance but they are not succeeded.
@huanghaozi (1472)
• Egypt
15 Feb 07
A plane is on its way to Montreal when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy and that she will have go sit in the back.
The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Montreal and I'm staying right here!" The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat.
The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she will have to leave and return to her seat. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Montreal and I'm staying right here!" The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason.
The pilot says "I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde and I have learned to speak 'blonde'!" He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and without question she gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy section. The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to make her move without any fuss. "I told her First Class isn't going to Montreal."
@satlove (1110)
• India
16 Dec 06
A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.
Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'
Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the Sardarji.
Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.
'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'
The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'
Race to the Sun:
Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.
One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."
"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."
And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."
@anjuscor (1266)
• India
23 Jan 07
Mr. Jaswant Singh went to a grocery stores collected the grocery and came to the counter and the person at the counter started preparing a bill for the items. Singh asked " Where is the fat?"
The person didn't understand what Singh was saying and said "Excuse me sir, FAT???"
Sardar : "Yes Fat, Give me the fat" Sardar started shouting and arguing with the person and all people gathered and Manager of that grocery store came there and asked Sardar about the problem.
Then sardar said "Hey Manager look, I took a yogurt from your stores and it was written 'FAT FREE' on that but this guy is not giving me the fat.
@ricky1209 (1675)
• India
27 Dec 06
An Indian moves to Montreal, Canada and goes to a big department store
looking for a job.
The manager asks, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The Indian says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home".
Well, the manager liked the young man, so he gave him the job. "You
start
tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did, but let me
give you a bit of advice. If a customer comes looking, say, for
toothpaste, you might suggest for him a toothbrush, or shaving cream
etc.
You get the idea?"
"Of course," the young man said. His first day on the job was rough but
he
got through it.
After the store was locked up, the manager came down. "How many sales
did
you make today?
The Indian says, "One"
The manager groans, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30
sales/day.
How much was the sale for?"
The Indian says, "$101,237.64."
The manager exclaims, "What? $101,237.64? What did you sell him?"
The Indian replied, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him
a
medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook.
Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going
fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was going to
need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that
twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic
would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold
him that 4X4 Pajero."
The manager says "You mean a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you
sold him a boat and truck?!"
The Indian says, "No, no, no, he came in here to buy a box of Kotex for
his wife and I said,"Well, since your weekend's already screwed up you
might as well go fishing."
@margaretz (78)
• United Arab Emirates
17 Dec 06
One of my fav joke, that trues that sardars are also smart :)
Smart Sardarji:
A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.
The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "your turn".
He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.
The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.
The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.
@ricky1209 (1675)
• India
23 Dec 06
Sardar runs home yelling "Pack your bags honey. I just won the 10 Million lotto.
Wife : Do I pack for the beach or mountains ?
Sardar: Who cares ? Just pack and get lost !
_________________________________
@deshabhishek007 (919)
• India
16 Dec 06
Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied. "Damn, he recognised me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour, new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.
• India
17 Dec 06
Once A sardarji was disappointed & furious for the comments made by the people on his community, so he went to a newspaper office, which published these kokes regularly, & asked the editor,"WHAY DO YOU ALWAYS PUBLISH JOKES ON US?" Editor replied, cool down, sitdown, He called a sardarji, who was aprinting boy, and asked him,"GO TO MY HOUSE & FIND OUT IF I AM THERE?", immediatly he took off & came back with the reply,"SIR YOU R NOT THERE IN THE HOUSE
@whitematter (501)
• India
18 Dec 06
Santa and Banta sitting in the bar at Raja Sansi Airport, Amritsar.
"I've come to meet my brother," said the Santa. "He's due to fly in from Canada in an hour's time. It's his first trip home in forty years."
"Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the Banta.
"I'm sure I won't," said Santa, "after all, he's been away for a long time."
"I wonder if he'll recognize you?" said the Banta.
"Of course he will," said Santa. "Sure, I haven't been away at all."
@jayanthiinba (245)
• India
16 Dec 06
Please don't make fun of Sardars.. They r supposed to be really brainy n courageous to step war field.. :) Its not good makin fun of them.. I feel so.. Might be its for fun.. but then, it will hurt them na.. Please, do understand..
Call it as jokes.. not as Sardar jokes.. please!! Do respect my opinion.. please!!
@ashokpethkar (575)
• India
16 Dec 06
Nice jokes,Yes I have one--
* Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and
closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does
the same stuff.
Wife askes : Why are you doing this ?
Sardar replies: Doc told to check sugar level regularly
@kool_dude (27)
• India
16 Dec 06
Santa and Banta had just bought two horses.Now the problem was that they could not differenciate between the two horses.So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.While doing so,an enemy of Santa looks at him.This enemy also cuts the left ear of banta.By doing so santa and banta come in confusion to differenciate. So, next thing santa keeps on cutting his horse's right ear, then his tail, then makes him blind and so on .And the enemy also kept on doing so with banta's horse.At last Santa's horse had no legs left and banta's horse was with one leg only .The enemy also went and cut banta's horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution, How to diffrenciate thier horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to thier mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and i will keep the white .
@nirmalgold (295)
• India
16 Dec 06
A sardar was sopped by the some gangsters and asked to come out of his car.They drew a circle and asked him to stand inside and they said to him you should not come out of this circle.and they started to break his car after six minutes they fully broke his car and they were about to go but sardar was laughing at them they could not understand and asked why he is laughing at them for that sardar replied while you were breaking my car i stepped out the circle for more than 10 times.