dealing with sperm donors...

When I had my daughter, her father left me during the beginning of my pregnancy. When she was born he saw her off and on. Really never provided for her. Just as you said your daughters father acted. I finally went through the court and got him to pay child support, but that just felt pointless. He was never around. She didn't know him. I later met someone and we fell inlove and all that stuff. We actually talked my daughters real father into signing over his parental rights. Now my spouse has adopted her and she knows nothing different. She is now 4 years old. Doesn't know of the other half of her. She has a daddy and a sperm donor. Sometimes sticking around only hurts us worse in the long run. Go with your gut feeling. Maybe just go on with life and if he wants to see his daughter, then he knows where to reach you. Leave it in his hands. Good luck.

If he doesn't want to have anything to do with her or be a father to her then let him go. My sister fought really hard to keep her kids dad in the picture and it was the same situation as you. He didn't really want to be a part of their lives and he did have kids with someone else. However, my neice and nephew did know that he was their father. It caused sooooo much stress through the years trying to keep him in their lives and it hurt the kids over and over again. Now they are 18 and 20 and both of them hate their dad. As soon as they got old enough to make their own decissions they both decided they wanted nothing to do with him becasue all he did was hurt them and disapoint them. They both now have some serious issues and both wish that they never knew him. they both feel they would have been better off without ever knowing him. I think in the long run it is better for your daughter to not really know her who father is and have her own thoughts on why he isn't around then it is to know him and live every day with the proof that he wants nothing to do with her. I know my sister would do it differently if she could do it again. Tying to force him to be in her kids lives is truly her biggest regret since it has and continues to effect her kids.

I would move on. Maybe in subconscious mind you are the one that wants to hold on to him for you. Maybe a lil love still buried deep inside. Not that its a bad thing. If he haas only visited her on and off or doesn't anymore and doesn't talk about her. Don't call him don't keep in touch with him let it and him go. Like you said you have the information she will need if she ever decides to look for him when she gets old enough. Just drift away it doesn't have to be a big ugly mess. Well unless you seek child support which you can since she is his. If you aren't gunna do that then cut ties. Someday he may grow up and say hey I have a beautiful daughter I didn't do right by.

well...i don find any wisenss in sticking to something tht doesnt coz anything els except prob for u. move on buddy.... theer wud b somebdy nice to take care of u and ur daugther.

My son's father also denies paternity. The difference in my situation is that he has seen his son once and has no interest in seeing him ever again. He doesn't return my calls and he keeps staying with different people so that even if I wanted to try and find him I couldn't. In my opinion it isn't fair to your child to continue to bring someone into their life that will just disappear and then return when it is convenient for them to do so. I would honestly just stop trying to keep in contact with him and if he decides to be a responsible adult and help with his child then I would let him. Good luck.

just let go of any connections with him. He's irresponsible and irrational. Why still push yourself on him? You and your daughter deserve a peaceful and happy life. With him around, that would be impossible.

You don't say how old the child is... I would wait until she is old enought to have some input before cutting ties. She deserves to know who is and be old enough to make a good decision about this.

I would just move on...sad as it may be, you need to forget about him and your daughter having any type of relationship since it seems as if he want's no part of her permanent life. Maybe it is a blessing in disguise...maybe someday you'll married and your husband will adopt her. Good luck.

personally i would cut off ties with this so called man.he is not going to take responcibility for your daughter,hes never provided for her,he even denies paternity so evedentally she does not even exist in his eyes.your daughter is better off without him.so i would cut off all ties with this guy if it was me.i have a ex who is like this and we cut off ties with him my daughter thinks my husband is her dad he is not her bio dad but hes been there since she was 4 months old.your ex is basically just a sperm donor if he dont want anything to do with your daughter.

You can't make him be a part of her life if he doesn't want to. I say try stopping the communication between the two of you. I agree with the waiting until she is old enough and let her make the choice. Him coming in and out of her life at such a young age may hurt her.

Yes it is frustrating to the max. I have had the same problem. If you do some research you will see that those sperm donors that show very little interest in the early days just drop off into no contact land as I call it. My ex had court awarded access back in 1996 and stopped all together in 1999 not because of anything I did or the kids did. No explanations no nothing. I hope your situation turns out the same. I feel sorry for the children in these situations though especially if they have bonded with the other party. He is not worth wasting the energy on.

A couple. Dollars to doughnuts he only talks about your child to the other mother. Second, there is a compulsion, hard wired into humans to keep in touch with forebears so, at some point, your child will NEED to know about her father even though he is a turd. Don't beat yourself over the turkey either way.

A couple. Dollars to doughnuts he only talks about your child to the other mother. Second, there is a compulsion, hard wired into humans to keep in touch with forebears so, at some point, your child will NEED to know about her father even though he is a turd. Don't beat yourself over the turkey either way.

Life is hard sometimes.. how old is she ?

Maybe you should forget about him if he really dont want to be a father to your grandson then do not contact him anymore.

Maybe you should try to just let go. I mean if he calls or take contact let him, but until he proves himself, let it be. I do know that it is hard and that u want the best thing for your kid, but when she is this young (wich i am assuming she is) it might just be more confusing for her. Like u said, if she chooses to look for him later then you will support her, and maybe then he is mature enough to handle a aughter to!

I think you're wasting your time and energy worrying about it. The guy wants no part of her life, move on. I am in the same position. My 13yo was adopted by my husband when she was 3. He considers her his own and as far as she knows he is. One day we will tell her the truth but the guy is a loser and not worth my time of day, especially since we are not worth his time of day. Why try so hard when your daughter has a daddy at home? She is well taken care of. Don't worry about it. ((((HUGS))))

If he doesn't seem interested in keeping up a relationship with her, I would not force it with him. It's only going to cause you stress and she is not going to benefit from it if it's not something he wants to do willingly. I agree that when she gets older and she wants to personally reconnect with him then she should have that option, but I wouldn't give her any false hope of a magical reunion, even more so if through the ages he continues to make the decision to stay out of her life.