Could you forgive a family member for writing you a bad check?

Wow that is a tough one. I would get ahold of her and tell her that she has to start making payments on that. You were being nice so it is not your fault for whatever happened. Write letters, leave messages, etc... Or else tell her you will take her to court. She is obviously ignoring you already so might as well take her to court. She knows it is her fault. But give her a few last chances. It won't ruin the communication between you guys anymore since she isn't talking to you. 700 is a lot of money to let her get by with

I personally would definitely take her to court to get my money. It's obvious she has no intention paying you back. After, all, look how she has lied, changed her phone number, and stopped emailing. Your husband is right. You shouldn't feel guilty for something that's not your fault. If your husband truly loves you, like I believe he does, he will be there to back you up in court. I would still visit my husbands family and if the topic came up I would definitely tell them I am handling it in a professional and legal manner. no one deserves to be taken advantage of. What she did is selfish and irresponsible.

wow .. if i was in your situation i would find it very hard to forgive that person only because its been so long since she has paid you back .. maybe she just does not have it .. ask if she set up a payment plan that could help i mean you wont get your 700 hundred right away but you will get it sooner then never if she can agree to giving you maybe 50 a week or 100 a month ..

the only way i could forgive is if they made a way to pay the check back

Just pray for her so Heavenly Father can let her to find a way to pay her debt back.

I have had a couple of trusted people, not family members take advantage of me in a monetary way, and because of their position I am disappointed in them, but am now out of contact.I have to let it drop, and forgive them, because the disappointment is holding me captive. Your case is harder, I have a family member who caused my daughter-in-law to lose her job over failure to pay a debt. At first dil was going to avoid family functions to keep from seeing this family member, but did go for Thanksgiving, and seemed to have a great time. Thanksgiving is the most important holiday in my family, and to my son. I had made certain that others knew that dil my not attend and why, so they were all glad to see her. We all have learned our lesson with this other relative. She is completely remorseless about debts to all of us, but we will not let her take closeness with the others away. It sounds like the family members know this person's spending habits. I will bet they are embarrassed, and do not know what to do either. Seven hundred dollars plus check fees is a lot. Your husband understands, and you are his priority. If you cannot let it go, file a small claim. In the course of what I hope is many years of marriage, seven hundred will not be so much.If you have a ding on your credit rating in association with it, write a letter explaining it to be put in your credit bureau files. If she steals the chance to be close to the other family members, she has taken a whole lot more away from you than $700. I just wish the family had let you know she was a jerk, prior to you getting stung. Congratulations on the wedding. Your husband sure sounds like a keeper. Do not let the deadbeat take anything more from you in the way or missed sleep or family relationships. Just keep your distance from her.

You know, life is short and I know that you lost $700 however, I'd chalk it up to lesson learned and let it go. Of course, I would want my money too, but she is obviously not going to make good on the check. There are so many other things to focus on. I wouldn't drop everything and make nice with her, I would still let her know that she has wronged you, but as far as having to forego the family visits, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. My aunt did the same thing to me almost but not on my wedding day, on a vacation to where I live she ran short on cash and asked me to loan her some until she could get home. $1000.00 and 2 years later--not a penny. I don't stop my family visits, and she is aware that I am unhappy with her, but I chalked it up to lesson learned and it will not happen with any family member again. Karma is a you know what!!! :)

I would not forgive anyone for that type of behaviour, a bad cheque is not written by mistake but is a deliberate attempt to defraud. To write out a cheque to a family member knowing that it will not be honoured is totally unthinkable, I would expect them to ask me for the money so that I could budget accordingly.

Yes, I could. Sort of.

yes,,,,

the fact that she's u'r familly doesn not give her the right to cheat, especially on her own familly. think how would she react if u would have done to her what she did to u. if she were in serious trouble she could have came to u'r husband and to u and ask for help. or if she was embaressed to do that, at leat she could do would have been to appologize for what she did and to admit she was wrong to deceive her own familly. i think she's not even sorry for what she did. in order to be forgiven, she should ask for it and she should realize she was wrong. forgivness does not come only coz she's familly. families support and help eachother, say they are sorry and admit when they are wrong. she didn't do any of that.

Boy we sure do have a lot in common--you wouldn't happen to be a Taurus would you? The things I have done for my ex in-laws I could write a book about. Even my new family--I think I may have you on this one... My husband's sister is worthless, but I always try to see the good in people. I do have to realize that sometimes people will never change. His sister found some of my husband's old checks at his dad's apartment. This account had been closed out for a little over a year. We knew he had some financial paperwork over there, but never thought we would need to take it right away. One day we received a collection notice. Oh, I should mention we do not have a checking account and pay for everything with either cash or a pre-paid credit card. Anyways, when I opened it and saw a collection on a check written sometime in June I was furious! Also, the date it was written we were in another state with my daughter! I could not believe that his sister did that, and more so that a business cashed a check from an account that had been closed for over a year! How can family do that to each other? I just don't get it... I'll post the whole story and what we did maybe later this week, but believe me, I know how you are feeling. I would have taken her to small clims court. Unfortunately, too much time has passed so now you can chalk that up to a life lesson learned.

although she obviously did a bad thing, i can still forgive her and just let her karma do its thing..i believe that for every bad thing that we do to others, there is also some sort of a bad return to us as well..i can forgive her but i may not be able to trust her again anymore..

Well,I look at it this way, after 3 years what are your chances of getting your money back. Slim to none. Do you actually want to go after her for the money? At this point I would say let it go, I would write her a letter or even try to call her. Letting her know your not going to ask her for the money, who knows what her reasons are for not paying back. Either way I would try to call it water under the bridge and try to re-new the realationship between the three of you. Its more important to have a close family then keeping a distance. However if the subject of loaning money to her or for that matter any family or friend I would say ~no thank you~ you have learned your lesson.

Wow, this is pretty low, but believe it or not, I have family members or so called family members on my side that have taken advantage of my Mom and my sister, and never tried to ever pay them back. So it does happen in a lot of families, and the sad thing, is no one ever tends to think anything about it. But just remember, what goes around does tend to come back around so in time they will get their just dues as well, and then maybe they will look back and remember what they did to someone else, or she will mature enough to be woman enough to really pay you back. As for Family get togethers, I would be surprised she would want to be there as you would confront her, or your husband would only to make the time miserable for all. I just wish you the best though.

That is a horrible situation to be in. Not only have you lost $700, but you also were taken advantage of by someone you gave the "benefit of the doubt" too. You should not feel guilty because none of this is your fault. The family member who wrote the bad check is at fault. She should have realized that she was putting a strain on your husband/her relationship by cheating you out of your money. I would forgive her for her actions, and move one -- but never forget.

I think anyone is worthy of forgiveness though it was really bad this happened to you. It is really an awkward situation to be in and maybe you should have contacted legal advice as she has stolen money from you.

This was a very nasty and horrible thing of her to do.Im not surprised you dont like the though of having to visit the family cause she will be there.I know how hard this must be for you.Try not to carry this around with you as its not good.i think most of us get ripped off at some stage in our lifes and you can only learn from it.

if she can do that to you, she doesn't deserve any respect from you nor she is trustworthy. She didn't care about your financial situation or if you were in need of some cash later. As long as she gets what she wants... I probably coulnd't face again because if I did, i'd probably hit her in the face.

wow thats pretty difficult to accept..usually other people just let it go since its family..but depends on how close you are to this family member, if she's ignoring you then you have every right to go after her, she should be the one to initiate payment but instead is trying to ignore you. what an a-hole. to think she's 'family'