My neighbours are a nightmare!
By stonozka
@stonozka (43)
December 26, 2006 6:33pm CST
They moved in one year ago and I can't believe we have put up with them for so long. It's a woman in her 40' and her 11 year old son. She shouts at him a lot, the f-word is a normal occurence. He is really disruptive, is almost never at school, he must be excluded every day. Now it's half hour past midnight and he shouts next door like he is in a disco. She would just tell him to shut up, worse she might shout too. Once she even called a police on him a reported a disturbance. She just seems totally indifferent to her son, does not love him at all and he is a terrible boy due to this. Sometimes I think I should call the child protection people, but I'm worried, I do think it would be better for him as he would be better taken care of /mentally, she does cook for him etc./ but I'm scared if she finds out it was me she would maybe call the child protection as well and my kids can be taken away too, not that I dont care about them, but to pay me back. It's just so hard sometimes and how can anyone not love their child?
And to make it ever stranger, she used to have two children, her daughter died in her childhood as she was disabled. So why doesnt she cherishes what she has and instead turns agains her only child? I find it so odd, it's umbelievable! Do you think I can help him?
Please dont advice to talk to her as this goes nowhere with her. Thanks!
8 people like this
43 responses
@Devinarun (387)
• United States
27 Dec 06
neighbours can always be nightmares....why dont you try telling them to behave themselves zas theer are many people livinbg around them and it is not onlt them.or find some way to gt them out form the place
1 person likes this
@stonozka (43)
•
27 Dec 06
She is arogant type who doesnt care. I try to be nice with her, ask her nicely to switch off that stereo or if she could go to his room when she tries to wake him up in the morn. instead of shouting from her bed and waking all of our family in the process. That seems to work, but only temporarily though. Thanks.
@mansha (6298)
• India
27 Dec 06
Do you have other neighbours, why don't you call them up and discuss the situation with them. They also must be preturbed by her behavior. Its better to work along with other neighbours in this kind of situation. May be if all of you call cps then you wouldn't have to worry about her finding out.
1 person likes this
@clark16 (375)
• Philippines
27 Dec 06
you can never do anything with arogant person. We can't change anyone except only for ourselves. You might have understand the situation and have broader mind than her, so you're the one to give the patience for her. Don't mind her either, it's her problem anyway... teach your kids to pick good friends! that's a big lesson they should learn throught their lives.
@teufelskind (813)
• United States
27 Dec 06
you need to report her cps does not tell who reported them. second you should not be worried about being reported your self if you have nothing to hide cps knows the real cases from the false reports they know when someone is just trying to get back at anouther for a report. I say you report it.
1 person likes this
@armywifey (882)
• United States
27 Dec 06
I agree. My friend works for CPS and it is things like that that they take seriously. Will will do an investigation into the report and if they find something wonrg, which I believe they would in this situation then they will act on it. You don't have to worry about her finding out who made the report or the other owman calling a false report on you. Even if she did they could tell it was falsy made.
2 people like this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
27 Dec 06
Oh my, that poor kid. I also feel sorry for you. I am lucky I have good, quiet peaceful neighbors. Maybe you will get lucky and they will move. That probably won't happen. My advice is to try to befriend the boy, maybe if you and he becomes friends it would help out both of you. It would help him and also if you were friends he might want to be more respectful. Maybe start out slow, see if he could help with some odd jobs, and pay him a few bucks. After woking have some milk and cookies or a snack of somekind. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@babykay (2131)
• Ireland
27 Dec 06
That sounds like a bad situation for both you, the neighbor and the child. If I were you I would just call social services and tell them the truth, for the sake of the child. I dont know what way it works in your country but I know in Ireland they are quite reluctant to take a child away from its family. They would not do it based on hearsay, so dont worry about your neighbor making up lies about you to get you back! If social services investigate and there is something wrong, hopefully they will sort it. They certainly should keep your name confidential.
1 person likes this
@bimmer999 (1158)
• Philippines
27 Dec 06
wow i just hate those kinds of neighbours.
maybe you should put soundproofing materials on your walls so you wont hear them
LOL
1 person likes this
@kawillow74 (1416)
• United States
27 Dec 06
That poor child could use your help but how can you get around her she seems to be a terrible mother how could anyone talk to a 11 year old child that way. I can't even think want it would be like looseing a child maybe she is having some anger issues and taking it out on him. Who know her state off mind after looseing a child. I wish you the best of luck.
@rakinitin (685)
• Canada
27 Dec 06
It's really too bad that the cycle of behavior is continuing for these people. It is sad to hear that some people can be so toxic and thereby unhappy to an extreme. Certain behavior is not acceptable and there is lots to be learned with them.
1 person likes this
@shyam4uall (1002)
• India
27 Dec 06
To live a healthy and peace ful life you also require a good and peaceful neighbour.But that's not the case.I feel sorry for that boy and also for you.The only peaceful option left to you is to wait for their deparrure from your neighbour.Or rather if you can talk to her and make her understand that what ill-effects are caused by their shouting all day and night and using of abusive words..then if they understand and cooperate with you then the matter can solve in a second..Try and best of luck.
@MentalPanic (227)
• Sri Lanka
27 Dec 06
I would talke with the family caring about it..you don´t need to say your name if u want to stay out of that thought. But someone need to help this kid before it goes more wrong for him
1 person likes this
@onesiobhan (1327)
• Canada
27 Dec 06
I think child protection services is a good idea. A lot of the times they will try to get counselling for the parents and help them become better at taking care of the kids.
He sounds really neglected and that's not good for a kid.
@xXmeganxX (4420)
•
27 Dec 06
child protection is a good thing but when you call try and say you want your name etc anonymous otherwise see if a citizens advice bureau can help you. i think im actually loud in my home as i do shout alot but my neighbours say they don't hear a thing, i do try and keep quiet just incase they don't want to admit to me that i am loud hehe :) hope all goes well whatever way you choose to help this porr child.
2 people like this
@nhtpscd (1416)
• Australia
27 Dec 06
reports are normally kept in annonomus. I have heard of a parent losing a child keeping others at arms length through fear that child will die to. By the sounds of it she really need help. She needs counselling. I would report her. If you don't try to get he help how would you feel later if the child does get hurt or does something really bad.
1 person likes this
@Khyatii (237)
• United States
27 Dec 06
tht's terrible..there is no way u can move? sounds like the mother is depressed bc of the daughter and doesnt want to get too close to her son ..and get hurt again when he grows up,and he leaves..the son definitly needs some help bc his situation..anyways u can help would be good..u said u have childern..maybe they can be friends..
1 person likes this
@Jshean20 (14348)
• Canada
27 Dec 06
Well it sounds like while this boy may not be getting physically abused, he is clearly being mentally abused (which is just as bad, if not worse) and I do think that you should report it. As you say, this lady lost a child and could be still mourning and having trouble dealing with that, hence taking it out on her son. I wouldn't feel guilty about reporting this because it won't be permanant and it'll give the mom time and assistance to work out her issues so that she can care for her son properly, before the damage gets even worse.
@fiyahcreation (2140)
• United States
27 Dec 06
get a copy of your local noise laws. Most cities and counties have ordinances that control the times, types and loudness of noise. For example, many local ordinances prohibit unreasonable vehicle noise (like honking the car horn early every morning for a carpool) or dogs barking all night long every night. Noisy neighbors are in for a warning or even a fine. You can look up your local ordinance at city hall, a public law library or the public library. Make at least two copies of it, one for your neighbor and one for yourself.
@gknott (936)
• United States
27 Dec 06
I think it would be the best move to report her. Maybe she and her son will get some help and she will wake up. She may love her son, but be lost in her own grief and not realize it. Time for her to wake up. Social services will investigate and hopefully turn things around for the both of them. The child deserves better and maybe his mom just needs a good shaking up. Please don't wait another second do this and save them.
@mbs730 (2147)
• Canada
27 Dec 06
Wow I am so sorry. I don't like my neighbors but they are angels compared to that. I am sorry to hear this, and I think if you did call the child services then you probably would be protected. Maybe there are ways to find out but something needs to be helped here.
@pufitza_mison (627)
• Romania
27 Dec 06
i don't know but why if you try to talck with him, in the end he is the only one that matters, so he needs help.I thinck that slowly you can macke him realize taht is not good what hapening there.Maybe chainging him you change his mother too.Or anunce child protection without nowing from where come the acuzation.if everything is allright in your house then i thinck they can't take your children too.I think that years are verry important for the develop of that child.Gool luck and i hope you will tacke the right decizion.
