Can Some one help me?
By marciascott
@marciascott (25529)
United States
December 29, 2006 6:51am CST
My husband is so sickly. I try to do everthing I can for him, he is a Diabetic. but is not taking care of his self right. I had to come 911 two times this week. I think he is getting Seanal or something I can't seem to figure out what is going on. He is in denial. keeps telling me he not sick and he is. I don't know what to do it is really streesing me out. EMS. has been to our house at at least 50 in a year.
I don't won't to leave my husband. we have been married 12 yrs. This is driving me crazy!
3 people like this
33 responses
@mamabulldog60 (351)
• United States
29 Dec 06
His health is ultimately up to h im, if he refuses to deal with it how can you be expected to. sounds like he is playing the victim quite nicely, I would schedule an appointment with the doc and confront the issues you set forth here and quit enabling him until he helps himself
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
29 Dec 06
Yes he is. then he plains me. thank you for your response.
@crystal8577 (1466)
• United States
29 Dec 06
I have been with a diabetic for almost 8 years & married for 4 years now. He has been a diabetic since he was a boy. You would think he would know that he has to take care of himself, but he never does. I know he regrets that he can't do a lot of things without the worry of how it will affect his blood sugar. I have had times where the EMTs were at a place quite often, fortunatly that has changed. He does have a specialist but the dr. is a moron. His regular dr. is not much better.
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
29 Dec 06
I think his doctor is a regular Dr. he did have specialist before, but His insuarance change and they would not pay for a specialist any more , well he change insurance company.
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
29 Dec 06
You must be going through alot too. I hope he is not as stuborn as my husband. thank you for replying.
@crystal8577 (1466)
• United States
29 Dec 06
I am sorry to hear that insurance will not cover a specialist for him. There is a lot that a regular dr. has no clue about when it comes to diabetes & the best way to treat it. My husband also has heart problems & his reg. dr. seems to just ignore that fact. My husband is only 34 so this is a lot of trauma on his body.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
29 Dec 06
Wow!! I think I can relate, as my FIL was in the Hospital all of the month of November, and is now in a Nursing Home Facility and still suffering from a Severe infection they cannot completely cure, and he is Diabetic. Before this incident he said his Doctor told him he was OK if he was under 200, and only test his Blood Sugar once a day at most. Now they have him on Insulin, and he says when he gets home, he will go back to pills, and never care about if High Blood Sugars could be causing him problems.
I am now Insulin Diabetic, and Health is a Big concern for me. It makes me Mad when I see people who do not care. But then maybe it is the Doctors not caring that sometimes adds to the problem. I sympathize with you, and wish you Luck. I know it is not easy.
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
29 Dec 06
thank yu for your post, I noticed that you always give quality post.
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
29 Dec 06
You take care of yourself! and have a
Healthy New Year!
@MrsAdvice (623)
• United States
29 Dec 06
Your husband will not help himself because he has you doing it for him. You need to make him be more responsible for his own health and well-being. First, you don't say in what ways he is not taking care of himself properly, but if it is sugar, you need to not have it in the house. If he buys it, throw it away. Don't put yourself in the position where he is depending on you to do everything for him. Set an alarm clock for him and tell him when it rings, it is time to check his blood sugar. Prepare healthy meals and snacks, but it is primarily his responsibility and you will drive yourself nutty assuming responsibility for stuff you really have no control over. Keep a notebook of things you observe that you think the doctor needs to know and next time he has an appointment, discuss those things with his doctor. You can only do so much, don't make yourself sick or crazy trying to be all things to all people. I do know of a product that might help a great deal. Contact JaniceCaswell here at mylot. She doesn't get on much, but she does have a wonderful product, if it is affordable to you. Also, tell your husband if he keeps it up he is gonna have to have his feet amputated like my uncle did. Tell him to straighten up and take care of himself before it is too late. Good Luck.
@Kackie3 (345)
• United States
8 Jan 07
That is great advice! As long as she is doing everything for him he wont help himself. Sometimes being too close to the person, makes it difficult to stand back and not do everything for them, but it will help if she makes him do for himself. EXCEPT preparing the right foods for him. Show him some tough love.
@pramodthakur (2365)
• India
30 Dec 06
If you really wants to see your husband diabetic free. I would suggest to do Pranayama. The details of it how to do it etc is available at this site : www.divyayoga.com. Please visit this site, read the materials available, understand it, and then try it to do. Even you can do it at Home far from India. In the meantime you can also contact them. Lots of doctors are also available there. They will suggest you the way. It is free. No money is required. Only you have to do systematic Pranayama. It is completely systematic breathing exercise. You will see the result within a week. Please believe me, and try it from today itself. lacs of Indians have been benefited by this Yoga/Pranayama. You can also be one of them. Please...............
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
30 Dec 06
I will try this, What do you know about it? do you do this. Is it good for any ailments, like stress because I am up under alot of stress. thank you I will check into it. Have a very Joyous New Year with your Love ones!
@pramodthakur (2365)
• India
2 Jan 07
Yes I do it daily in morning and evening hours. I spent at least 1/2 an hour at both the seasons. It is really wonderful. it will help you a lot. Please try it.
@Serjas (2328)
• India
29 Dec 06
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@marciascott (25529)
• United States
30 Dec 06
I will read it and response, a little later I promise.
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
30 Dec 06
I will read it and response, a little later I promise.
@littlefranciscan (18327)
• United States
30 Dec 06
After you do all you can do ..leave the rest to God..your husband is a mature adult. I have found that when we are told to avoid things we tend to not avoid them. Do not leave you husband. you promised to remain with him by vow in sickness and in health. It is a trial you are going through ..talk to you husband; everything will work out right:)+
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
2 Jan 07
I guess this is a trail, I'll just put it in God's hands. thank you for replying.
@mansha (6298)
• India
29 Dec 06
I know en can be tough when it comes to health care. My huibby is also like that he has a bck problem and is not supposed to lift weights but he never listens and will keep doing that and when stopped will say I worry unnecessarily. Diabetes needs a lotr of diet care do tthat for your hubby I also come from a family of diabetics and it is like a termite eating away insides of your body. I think seek help from his doctor may be a doctor strwessing on the need to take more careful care will make him pay attention. You have noit written how bad is his daibetes if he is on insulin or something, you should ask health counsellors to speak to him. May be he is too tired of fighting this disease as its a lofe long disease. keep checking his glucose level at home andf must get him to a counsellor I repeat. goodluck to you.
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
29 Dec 06
Thank you he takes shots 4 times a day. It's really bad. then he blames me for it.
@riyasam (16556)
• India
30 Dec 06
i think i am in his position.i also think everything is fine when in reality i cant walk.i beleive he is getting frustated and helpless as i sometimes do and i take out on my loved one.i hope he doesnt leave me as i love him so much.try to give him love and be more understanding and most imp pray
@ildikobutyurka (851)
• Romania
3 Jan 07
try to speak with him or take him at a specialist, a psyholog. the problem should be solved by talking it out. maybe he will realize by then that he is a sick person and needs help
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
3 Jan 07
thank you for your advice. you are quite right. Happy New Year to you!
@emilieespino (963)
• Philippines
29 Dec 06
I wonder how old your husband is. I am diabetic too, but it is under control because I take my medicine and go to my doctor regularly, plus I eat the right foods. Does your husband read magazines and periodicals about diabetes? You both should have sufficient knowledge of the disease, how to take care and recognize hypo and hyper glycemia so that you know what to give him when it happens, lessening your call to 911. Make him more aware of his disease by having him correspond with diabetics. From your story I think his diabetes is a serious case and will lead to many complications if he does not take care. Get him to a good doctor. And let him know how much you care and if he cares for you too, he should lessen the burden on you by cooperating and taking care of himself.
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
29 Dec 06
He has had diabetes since he was 43, he's 56 now. and it is getting worst.
It is not going to get any better. thank you for your reply.
@Kackie3 (345)
• United States
4 Jan 07
So he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, and that can be put under control for him to be much healthier than he is now. My brother in law was diagnosed late in life with it and was put on meds and he did everything he was supposed to do and now he is no longer on meds and is doing fine..he is in his 70s now.
@smartearnings (130)
• India
30 Dec 06
I do have same problem as you. My husband is also diabetic and dosen't takes medicine and not taking care of his health.
Don't want to go to doctor not want to take medicine. I do love my husband and i have come to the edge of leaving him but i don't want to leave him and i don't understand what to do?
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
30 Dec 06
You you know exactly, How I feel. He take 4 shots. take some of this advice here. these people are really giving good advice. read the whole thing if you get a chance. Happy New Year to the both of you. May our Husbands be healthier for the yr. 2007. thank you!
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
29 Dec 06
I have MS it is a diablity illness that requires a lot of time and energy from my caregiver and honestly, I don't take the meds the way I am suppose to, they make me feel worse than the MS itself. I understand how hard it is, to see someone deteriate right in front of your eyes because I see the pain in my better halfs eyes daily and it is usually followed with, well if you took your shot, you would feel better. Have you tried explaining to him how it feels to see him not being himself, don't say he is sick, just not himself. Ask if the injections make him feel worse. My grandmother was diabetic and I took care of her for 6 years and she always told me that the shots hurt and made her feel bad. When I would discuss this with her doctor he would tell me that it doesn't and just keep giving them to her. Well now I know that if her injections were anything like mine, they did hurt and I feel bad for not being more sypathic to her while she was alive. You love him, if you didn't he would not be able to drive you crazy. I think you guys should just sit down and talk and try and get your feelings out.
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
29 Dec 06
that's a good Idea. but hes, so mean, I think that is, because he is sick. but It hurts sometimes, when I know I doing the best that I can do.
@Kackie3 (345)
• United States
8 Jan 07
It sounds to me like he is feeling sorry for himself, and by blaming you it makes him feel better. It isn't right, when you are doing everything you can for him. If he don't wake up and stop feeling sorry for himself and take matters in his own hands, he will have damaged kidneys and be on dialysis, and he wouldn't want that. I also am a diabetic, just recently diagnosed, I don't take care of myself like I should. I tend to push it with the sweets, but I remember the kidneys and straighten my act up. The hardest for me is, I buy the groceries, therefore I tend to get what I want, instead of what is better for me. If you do the shopping, he has to eat what you buy, right? Find out the foods he should eat and give them to him. He should feel much better and will have a better mood for you.
@SirChatAlot (34)
• United States
2 Jan 07
If he is Diabetic, and not taking care of himself, there isn't going to be much you can do for him. Nagging or pushing him to take medicines, watch his diet, get exercise, etc might help some, but if he doesn't do it for himself, no one else can. As for the EMS coming to your house so much, it's hard to believe they haven't started charging you an excessive use fee. Where we live, if you continually call for the same reasons (more than 10x a year) you are charged a $150 fee each time, that insurance doesn't pay. Maybe hitting him in the wallet would help. I don't know. I feel for you and wish you well, as I do him too.
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
2 Jan 07
thank you. Oh yes he has to pay city everytime they come out. EMS.
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
30 Dec 06
thank you Vickie, It's rough sometimes. HAVE A Happy New Year!
@lilly22 (35)
• Australia
30 Dec 06
Hi. I really feel for your situation. Firstly I think that you need some help with him. Have somebody look after him for a while and go and do something for yourselve. Also if he's taking out his fustrations on you; I would get him to see a counsellor. They would probably help you both deal with the situation better.
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
30 Dec 06
I want to go on a one day vaction, but I am scare to leave him it is just that bad. thank you for responding.
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
30 Dec 06
At some point you are going to have to just let him handle his health on his own. You can't make him take bettter care of himself. It is HIS condition and he has to manage it. I know it is difficult but since you don't want to leave you are going to have to stop fretting over him. If he needs help, call 911, but don't talk to him about his health anymore. It is wasting time and he might actually start taking care fo himself BETTER if he realized that you are not going to play nurse maid or mommy.
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
30 Dec 06
You said just what I wanted to hear, you are very right. thank you for your response. Have a Happy New year!
@bimmer999 (1158)
• Philippines
30 Dec 06
i hope your husband gets well soon..
but i guess that just comes with age..
sickness and diseases..
just stay strong and do not abandon your husband..
in sickness and health remember?
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
30 Dec 06
Yes, Your right. but he has to get better, I am going to pray very hard.
thank you! and have a Happy New Year!
@babystar1 (4233)
• United States
30 Dec 06
I feel so sorry for you.I really dont know what to tell you, besides what everyone else allready did. My husband is a Diabetic also. but he takes care of himself. So he is not on any medicine or shots. sounds like your husband dont care about himself.Did you try talking to his doctor.
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
30 Dec 06
yes i have, He use to see a specialist. his medical insurance,changed they wouldn't except his insurance.