what do you think about having kids at 21?

No its not wrong to need help at all and truth be told I dont knwo of one parent who wasnt helped out by someone in some way at some point..but she isnt even pregnant yet and is saying well mum will help us with that...clothing is a basic need for a child and she IMO should be saying "well we can definately afford to provide for our baby"....see what I'm saying

It's not wrong to need help from others once in a while, also they really don't need to buy new clothes for the baby, hand me downs are ok as long as the clothes are wearable. They just need new clothes for special occasions. It's a good thing that she's considering the thought of having a baby rather than making the baby all of a sudden.

children ARE a lot of work..I think all she is saying is that she's not done living yet and isnt ready to settle down....nothign wrong with that at all..in fact its very responsible IMO

You make it sound like children are a burden and a chore, if you keep on thinking like that you'll never be mature enough for a child.

What's with the age of 25? I know some people who had a child at age 25, but they are always arguing on who will take care of the child. I got a child at age 20, I had minor problems like time but we never argue about who will take care of the baby. Maturity is the question here, if you're 25 but still think like a teenager then you're not ready for a baby, but if you're 20 you know how to prioritize things then you're ready.

That doesn't make sense. Prioritizing has no bearing on whether they are financially stable and have jobs to support caring for a child. Hopefully you and your husband have a way of supporting yourselves as well.

If you are economically and mentally prepared then go for it. As its a full time job. Everyone can help you but still it will be you as a mother who will have to give up on so many things and raise the kid. so emotionally if you are ready to change the way you live and eat and sleep and do things now then go for it.

"it's his actions that shows them how responsible and ready they are" right so dont you think it would be wise for these two to move out on their own, get solid jobs, learn how to budget, organize, live self sufficently etc FIRST before bringing a baby into the world?

^^I disagree.. As long the parents can take care of their child, raise them good, put them in school, they are responsible parents. There is no age that tells a person is responsible.. it's his actions that shows them how responsible and ready they are.

Great advice. A solid foundation is love, money will come in second. :)

y?

Congratulations! But you make is sound like you are glad to be rid of them? Also, note the "struggled financially" OP. Not trying to be rude here, but did your kids have the opportunity to attend college in the end if they chose/choose? Money is NOT everything, but you will see that being able to live comfortably financially and do things with and for your kids is important.

Nursing baby??? Sorry but not all moms nurse their baby, but they are still good moms! I have 2 children 15 months & months. I nused my 15 month old for 3 months. I wasn't able to nurse my 5 month old AT ALL, but I did pump milk for her. She was hospitalized since birth, and for the first 2 months all her food was given through an IV line with food called TPN. I have my third baby due this July. I was 20 when my first was born & 21 with my second & 21 again when this next baby is born. But I also have a husband, a stable home of our own (3bed/2bath), the financial means to support all our babies & will even be taking special parenying classes to better take care of our second baby because when she is FINALLY able to come home from the hospital she will be on a G-tube (feeding tube through her tummy), and have a pump for it too. So to point out nursing a baby specially & not bother being specific about a stable home, food, clothing, medical insurance, a running vehicle in case of emergencies, a home with electricity, running water & a working stove & being prepared to make major life adjustments (both the mom & dad), YOU do not sound ready for a kid ANYTIME SOON. There is SO MUCH MORE TO PARENTHOOD!! As for the original poster, I believe if can do all that I mentioned above (nursing a baby is not a neccessity, although it does have many medical advantages), then you & your boyfriend MIGHT be ready. The financial aspect is different than what most couples originally think. Talk to your sister-in-law with the 5 kids or send me a message & I'll let you know how some parents make the nessessities of things that are a must for a baby, be less financially straining.

that true, but If you feel then go ahead, but think once as your life is just started so first satr some quality time with each other and you will, be more happy to have child at 25 or so.

Dear friend nowadays in india girls are ready to marry only after 25 and how could it be possible??What u r saying sometimes back.Now,girls are very particular to get married after doing good educetion and getting a job for security,then only they are prepared to marry.After marriage,they plan for getting a house,secure themselves by giving some money in bank and then only they are planning to have a baby.

Hey i agree with Harsha!!!!!! It is not good to have child at such a young age!!.Couples have to understand each another and enjoy life........After having the maturity to bring up a child and financially good then better to have a child!

did u want a kid at 17 or was it an accident?

that would be scary to me to have a kid at 17 how did u feel when you found out you were pregnant?

Opps I meant to say lack of sleep, flying poop/pee, and feedings.

"You said that they would help with babysitting or clothes and I don't think that is the right way to look at it. You should be able to look after your own children without the help of others if you plan it." Exactly...I had my first at 23, i had a job, my own apt etc and still it was tough to do..