Something Exciting

THAT is way too funny!!!

In a ship the Generals of three nations were traveling with their soldiers. They started the topic that whose soldier had more of guts. The American general called for one of his men and told him to jump down the ship and take a round swimming around the moving ship. The soldier did as he was commanded and the general boasted of by saying “See the guts !”. Now the German general called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds.the soldier did as he was told.when he came back from the water the German said “See the guts “. Now the Indian General called out for his most courageous man and asked him to take five similar rounds. The soldier promptly replied, “Am I your dad’s servant?”. At this the general proudly said “See the guts”.

Miracle Toddler Diet! Guaranteed Results People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days. Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet. Over the years you may have noticed that most two year olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet; otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Good Luck!!! DAY ONE: Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, and then smear the jelly over your face and clothes. Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest). Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Sprite. Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor. DAY TWO: Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye. Lunch: Half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired. Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on rug. Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon. DAY THREE: Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, and put it on the cushion of best chair. Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up. Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch. Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible. FINAL DAY: Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes; add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog. Lunch: Eat breadcrumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it. Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

Blonde Kidnapping A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I`ve kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde." The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

LMAO!!!!

Gifts One day The Lord spoke to Aadam. "I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord said. Aadam looked at The Lord and replied, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, The Lord explained, "I've got two new oragans for you, one is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things, solve problems, and have intelligent conversations with Eave. oamThe other organ I have for you is called a paenis. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and 2007 populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to feb give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" The Lord looked upon hum Adam and said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time." ** Small Compensation A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own 005 shirt, which was brand new before he came in. “Damn,” he says. “I puked on 22 my shirt again. If the wife 21 finds out, she’s gonna kill me.” “Not to worry,” says the ba07 rtender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.” So the drunk goes home and tells his ok wife feb jan about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds tjawo twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks. The drunk replies, “Oh, yea nh, he crapped in my pants, too.”

Lol, I think this is hilarious.

Good one very good LOL

Thats a good one. Never heard that one before.

nice joke Fire Escape A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away...the Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato. "C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead. "No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!" "OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!" "No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde. "No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!" "Look," the Blonde says. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it...."

good one! keep up the good work! post more of these they are realy time pass. it refreshes me from other hectic discussions!

good one! keep up the good work! post more of these they are realy time pass. it refreshes me from other hectic discussions!

good one! keep up the good work! post more of these they are realy time pass. it refreshes me from other hectic discussions!

i believe in doinh things differently ,some times ir becomes exciting tofew and for others it might sound awkward.

Hahahahaha this was too god , It really made me laugh a lot Thanks for sharing it

That's cute! Thanks for sharing. Where is everyone finding all these funny jokes? Every time I try, I can only find the corny ones that are not funny at all.

That was just too funny...cute...kids say the darndest things!! The way children interpret things is priceless!!

that's very cute

good jokes, thank's alot and enjoy ur life

Ha! I just knew what the point of this joke was going to be as soon as I saw the part about the period. Good one! I need a few good laughs each day, and you have provided me with one. ^_^