Equality in a relationship***

That does not sound like equality. She is doing more work then the guy. He works only 3-4 days a week while she works all day everyday. that's not fair.

this is a question which arises in every womens mind. i dont think this is equality. women should also have a sunday as men have. she works all the day long and still her work is not looked upon. its considered as her duty and men's job is work. i dont know when is his going to end. hopefully soon. aleast one day in a week men should give rest to women by preparing meal, cleaning etc.

Men and women have different roles in the society. Maybe being unequal in many terms can be rooted in the Bible where it is written that wife must be submissive to her husband.

It does not look like it is divided equally at all. Sorry to hear that is happening to you. You just got to be strong and take care of your kids.

I know its unfair and unequal relationship. I am from India and in my country 98% relationships work that way. Its considered odd for a woman to seek husband's help in cooking and cleaning. My hubby loves to help around the house but he has been laughed at and me scolded by my ma in law for letting him do so. Now I am a bad wife and a daughter in law. You can atleast console yourselve for being ideal daughter in law by my country's standards. any way I just wanted to tell you how hard it is to do all the things all the time, but you should put your foot down and refuse to do somethings and ask him for help. Tell him that at this stage of pregnancy you need him to take care of you. Ask your doctor to tell him so, if you find it difficult to bring that up.

Of course that's not equality, but unfortunately that's the way of the world in many homes, then the men think the woman does nothing. There is no better way to make a man understand what we do than to let him do it. My daughter left her husband home with the kids for a couple of days and he couldn't do it. I figure if a man is going to be so useless I don't need him in my life. I always found it easier after I left my husband as it gave me one less child to take care of. I figured if I was going to do everything around the house anyway, what did I need him for? Turned out I didn't need him at all!

No it isn't & I got the same deal. My husband works from 4pm to midnight. And plays video games the rest of the time. Me I wake up take care of our son, cook, clean, go to Dallas (1 1/2 hour drive each way) to visit our sick daughter in the hospital. I manage the bills, get up in the middle of the night for our son & Im just shy of 12 weeks pregnant. And then on the weekends when I ask for some help, "but I worked 40 hours a week. It's my time to relax.". Excuse me? So when does my weekend come? Even when I HAD A JOB - I was still the one doing ALL the hosecleaning.

We have to shave, every day, is the usual blokes defence in these debates, I myself look after the kids, work, and do all the housework, and I have not had time for video games properly for 6 years, at least I can fit my drawing in and a few hours on the computer here and there. So it all depends whoever you are, are you lazy or a busy? I'm busy, my hot and cold wife is lazy!

no yar don campare both , do understand and lead the life

I guess this is where I get in hot water. A good relationship or marriage depends on communication. When you started this relationship did you two discuss that he would work and you would take care of the house. When you were just dating did you discuss how you would raise your kids. Communication is good in these cases. I have been married twenty years and we have good communication. I am not afraid to tell him how I feel about anything and the same for him. Marriage is not an equal partnership. some times it will be 60-40 or 20-80. When I worked and my husband worked we both took care of the house and cooked. He works 11-12 hours a day but only works four days. He would cook dinner on the days I had to work and I would cook on days he worked. I did not have a problem giving him his daughter and saying I will see you later I need some me time. He would take her no problem. The other thing is if you don't mind staying home taking care of the home and kids than that is the way it should be. I was never a suzy home maker. I am now and have been for two years and am loving it. My only advice is that if you are not happy with your situation do something to change it. Don't clean. Maybe get a job outside home. Or if you are just not getting any where with him and can't stand it any more leave. There is child support and alimoney if he is the only one working.

That's not how it should be in a relationship. My husband worked 12 hour shifts, six days a week and still helped out around the house and with the kids. Now because of his epilepsy, the doctors won't let him work. He still today does a lot of cleaning and watching the kids. It should be equal work for both. Being pregnant though should be different. The guy should always make sure the woman is comfortable. They don't know what we deal with being pregnant.

in your case, that isn't really a fair deal, not unless the lady in the situation is comfortable (which i think isn't) with what she is doing. i think that the two of them should have some serious talking.

well it's a point to point basis, because we are entitled to different perspective. for me, equality is when i'm doing the part that i like and love to do while he also does what he wants and likes to do, then for the stuffs that we don't really want, we then take turns. for now, we decided both to work and since i cannot do the household chores and he doesn't like it either, we have decided to hire a housemaid, or things like that. we always talk things out and in this way, equality is practiced without making any of the part suffer.

What you need to do is write down the number of hours the man works, and the number of hours the woman works. Sounds like he's working 8 hours a day times 4 days at the most is about 32 hours a week, while she is working 7 days a week from lets say 8 am to 8 pm, 12 hours a day times 7 equals 84 hours a week! YIKES! No that is not fair at all.

You can't have true equality, you just have to work out something fair

That's Not equality and don't tell me the woman doesn't "work." She WORKS, she just doesn't get paid. Furthermore, she doesn't get time off from her job, the way her husband does. Women do loads of work that few people appreciate because they don't get paid for it!!!

See this depends upon how WIFE and HUSBAND understand and trust each other. After all they live and celebrate together. I think both are correct in their places. Well i am still single and unmarried. So i dont know much.

I guess at times women pamper the husbands too much during initial months or years of a marriage or relationship. Why not let them do their work on their own? Wives ought to sterner as they manage the house.....lay out some basic rules. divide work...try using various means to get your work done.

well i think you are generalising it a bit here. by no means do i intend to say that taking care of a child or a household is a walk in the park but even men go through a lot of tough times at work and we also help around with the household stuff once we get back from our work... i think it differs from a person to another.