Break ups
@beautyoperater (1890)
United States
January 19, 2007 12:45pm CST
I while back I had asked if I would have to worry about my daughter getting married. Well not anymore.
She called me last night in tears because the guy she was dating broke it off last night. He said that he didn't love her anymore because she had changed.
I really hate the fact that he did this over the phone. He's in Iowa and she's in North Dakota.
I want to know why these guy have to be such jerks and do this stuff over the phone instead of in person?
He was the one that started talking about forever with her and now its over. She is really crushed because she hadn' done anything wrong.
He said she was to demanding. Let's see, she wanted to spend the last night of her stay with him before going back to school and he ditched her in a bar. She was upset told him that and he got really mad. A week later its over.
He is 29 years old and acts like a 2 year old. Why do guys have to be such jerks and cowards. My daughter is a beautiful young lady and has a lot to offer someone. She thinks that God is punishing her, and wants to know why bad things always happen to her. I told her God wasn't punishing her and there is someone out there that won't break her heart. Didn't help.
5 people like this
53 responses
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
19 Jan 07
Sorry she is dealing with this, but it seems like she is much better off without the guy. Could you imagine is she had married him and got stuck with him acting like a child? Shoe would have been so unhappy. I hope the next one she finds treats her better and is more mature.
2 people like this
@beautyoperater (1890)
• United States
19 Jan 07
She says she's never going to go out with another guy again. She can't trust them. This one told her he would never hurt her and he did.
I just hope she finishes school and moves on.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
19 Jan 07
I'm sooooo sorry to hear that about your daughter, you know you have to be in mommy mode and comfort your babygirl. She's going to need it while her heart mends. I don't understand why some guys are not man enough to tell a female or vice versa face to face...I personally thinks he was doing things he had no business doing...saying she is being "demanding" to get out it. That works both ways I know..But if they know someone is in love with them, they could have the respect to at least face her. That really was coward move.
Mother to mother, just be there for her as you always have, eventually she will realize she didn't deserve him. Good luck to you and your babygirl..It's just one of life lessons learned....
@beautyoperater (1890)
• United States
19 Jan 07
This is the third time this has happened. Last time she was going to kill herself. Thank god for her roomates.
We had to go get her because they committed her to the psyc ward. It was the scariest thing she ever had to go through.
She says this time she won't be that way. I hope not. I want to just go up there and give her a big hug. She says she will never trust a guy again. This one said he would never hurt her. Yeah right.
I should go and kick his butt but I won't. Thank you so much for all the kind words. She is my baby and I will be there for her no matter what.
@beautyoperater (1890)
• United States
20 Jan 07
Thanks for the offer. I called her again today and she still is sad but a little better. I know she will get over it. This is the third one that has dumped her. She's young there's plenty of time.
I will take her in my arms the next time she's home. Thanks again
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
20 Jan 07
If you need me to go with you, let me know... :) I got a mean right hand hehehehe...yanno she is just one of those females that fall in love easily....she is fragile and it's possible when she break up she looks for someone else to take away the pain of the last..Just a thought being it is her third...the word for you is SUPPORT, she needs that more than anything...I know when I'm down in the dumps, yes even at 33, I will still go to my mom and cry on her shoulder...and she welcomes me with open arms...that's a wonderful feeling...she needs it...good luck lady...to you and your babygirl...
1 person likes this
@kgwat70 (13387)
• United States
20 Jan 07
I am sorry to hear that your daughter got hurt by this jerk and bum. That was a horrible thing for him to do to her. He should have told her in person like a man. He is immature and it is probably good that they did not get married and then he decided to leave her. It sounds like you have a great daughter and you should remind her that there are other men out there and one that will love her, respect her and treat her better. I have a feeling he was seeing someone else. I hope that your daughter will be okay.
@beautyoperater (1890)
• United States
20 Jan 07
She says that he would never cheat on her but I feel he was to. Saw him at a bar when she was working and he was really flirting alot. I'm glad to that they didn't get married and then broke up. That really would have put her over the edge.
I have faith she will get through this and will move on and find that special someone. She had alot of time.
@chiquita1977 (1706)
• United States
20 Jan 07
there are alot of guys out there that are jerks and who wont break up with a girl face to face because they are just a coward.bad things happen to everyone not just your daughter.i have had my heart broken like this before and i was devastated but i eventually got over it and found someone who was good to me that i married and had children with and so someone good is out there for your daughter also.your daughters heart is just broken right now so nothing you say is going to fix it she will eventually realise that this guy was a jerk and move on with a nice guy who will treat her right.
1 person likes this
@beautyoperater (1890)
• United States
20 Jan 07
Thank you. I know about heartbreak. I told her she wasn't the only one who has had her heart broke. I did a few times to but I found my soul mate.
I know she will find someone or that someone will find her.
@nw1911guy (1131)
• United States
20 Jan 07
The only bad thing is it seems most women don't know what to do when they do find a nice guy, or that's my experience at least.
@marty3888 (2355)
• Acme, Michigan
20 Jan 07
I'm really sorry to hear about that. Right now of course it's not going to work. But as much as she can't possibly believe this now, she didn't need him. There seems to be something wrong with all of a sudden he dosn't love her. She's too demanding? This guy may never be ready for a relationship. He may not be acting like a 2 year old but he is acting like a 15 or 16 year old - at 29! My girlfriend had a couple of bad experinces, one who all of a sudden "wasn't happy" and while married to her, found another girlfriend - at a time when her dad was dying. now we're together and I will bethere forever for her. Your daughter will find someone too.
@beautyoperater (1890)
• United States
20 Jan 07
You sound like a very nice guy. I know she will find someone. It's just going to take time. Probably alot of time. I told her to focus on school for right now. She says its to hard to but I said she could do it. Things will get better for her. Thank you for the kind words.
@Hipponater (262)
• United States
20 Jan 07
Well you can't blame it on all guys, as all guys aren't jerks...
That guy does sound like a jerk though, calling it off over the phone is bad, but different states makes it difficult. Your daughter sounds like a great person and I'm certain she will meet someone better.
1 person likes this
@beautyoperater (1890)
• United States
20 Jan 07
The dumb thing was he could have ended on her last night home before going back to school, but of course not. Took the coward's way out. I know someday she will find a wonder man and she will be happy again.
@beautyoperater (1890)
• United States
20 Jan 07
I tried to tell her that but she says she's done. She can never trust any man again. I really don't blame her she has gone through alot of crap. I know she will bounce back but it may take awhile.
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
19 Jan 07
I think God is looking out for her. ALthough it isn't easy, this guy was not going to make her happy. She needs to live for the moment and when she does find that right person it will be something very special for them both. I hope she does not have to go through too much heartache before that happens...
@beautyoperater (1890)
• United States
20 Jan 07
Thank you. She asked my why god was punishing her. I told he wasn't. It just happens and it happens to alot of woman. She will get over it but it will take time.
@describe (16)
• India
20 Jan 07
i feel that you girl is going througha bad phase, but its good, you know everything that happens, happens for good, now she can concentrate on her studies. see nothing remains forever. in few days she will just start living her normal life. so no worries....
@harxian (671)
• Philippines
20 Jan 07
how sad to hear that, your daughter has nothing to worry about she is beautiful theres someone who deserves more of her love and not that guy who broke her heart its not your daughters lost its his lost.your daughter has to moved on and prove to the guy he is wrong your daughter must be strong to face this trial in her life she really needs you to be by her side.life must go on girl.
@beautyoperater (1890)
• United States
20 Jan 07
So true, I told her the same thing but it was hard for her to hear right now. I know things will eventually get better. It's just getting through it right now that's hard and the fact that she's so far away to where I can't just give her a big hug
@frndzb4 (131)
•
20 Jan 07
Its really sad .. but I believe .. whatever happens, happens for the best .. the day your daughter will find a right man .. she will realize, that it was only for her good. God never punish nice people .. he always save them from the wrong hands. Thank God she's out from that coward's life !!
Don't worry she's your daughter.. might be bold like u .. she'll recover soon & find her dream boy .. Good luck both of you.
1 person likes this
@jimotman (633)
• Indonesia
20 Jan 07
First of all, not all guys are like that, the guys that are like that are cowards.. your daughter needs some time to get over it, just encourage her slowly, and let her know that someone out there is waiting for her, he is a much better and caring man, she just hasn't found him yet, but she will.
1 person likes this
@SunlightSwoon (1060)
• United States
20 Jan 07
He sounds like a flake,and I am not trying to be mean, but the excuses that he is using for breaking up with her, are the same rants that men use over and over. Oh, it's your fault, you are demanding. Some guys are just not worth the paper they are printed on, and he definitely fits that bill.
He has shown her exactly what he is made of, whether or not
she can see it now, later she will. He has done her a big favor, if I were her and if he should decide later to come back, I would stay clear of him. Your daughter sounds sweet
and precious, she deserves better. And this wasn't a punishment, it actually sounds more like a narrow escape...SS
1 person likes this
@emilieespino (963)
• Philippines
20 Jan 07
Your daughter is so much like mine. She had many serious relationships before she got married and how she would cry each time. Tell your daughter things happen for a reason -- maybe she is destined to know a few jerks first before meeting the right man. She should never think that God is punishing her. Rather, God is polishing her -- to be strong and perfect.
This is my favorite quote on love: "Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours."
@Virgoves (19)
• Vietnam
20 Jan 07
Firstly, I'm sorry to hear your daughter's story.
I might be a lil younger but I've been in relationships and I know how hard it is when a guy said "it's over". Even we do know that we didn't do anything wrong but it's just so hard. Same thing goes for your daughter. What she need now is only your love and time.
As I see, when a guy say she's too demanding, he actually just try to pull away. It's nothing wrong if she wanna spend time with him before she goes. Love and mature has nothing to do with age,too. Anyone would be the same until they lose something to recognise what's value.
When he doesn't deserve your daughter's love, it isn't a loss to give him away but an opportunity to escape from a bad relationship for her.
1 person likes this
@justinefontaine (90)
• Philippines
20 Jan 07
Let her be for now.
It's really hard after a break-up, you keep on asking
yourself what went wrong in the relationship?
It is but normal to feel heartbroken after a relationship
that gone wrong.
But she'll get over it and she will move on.
What you can do for now is just to be there for her and try
to distract her for feeling sorry for herself.
Entertain her and keep trying to make her happy.
1 person likes this
