Giving a Baby up for Adoption-My story

well I can so relate to you...... I gave up my son who is now 4 because he was born with special needs and I could not provide for him the way he needed me too. he has a wonderful adoptive parents who care for him a great deal and I am glad that he now has opertunities that he did not before but yeah I still feel bad for it and there is not a day that goes by that I dont wish he still lived with me.but I know that it was what was best for him and I feel glad that I was able to give him what he needed and deserved out of life with out too much pain and suffering. I am also very lucky that I have the type of adoption that I can see him and have contact with him because I have formed a bond with his adoptive parents so that is a very rare thing but yeah it all depends on you and how strong of a person you are

Only you can make that decision- If the father is terminally ill doesn't he have a life insurance policy? If you chose to keep the baby- the 2 of you could raise the baby until the inevitable happens (sorry).. and he could name his child as the beneficiary of his policy. This will certainly help in raising the new child. Having 2 children already-- Do you think you could put up a child for adoption?? how will your children react to this? Your 7 year old will know something is going on.. Probably not your 4 year old. You will need to think about this-- Go to your church, your parents, your family for help and couseling- Good luck--

Perhaps you can meet a family who wants a baby and be friends with them and know that they will love your baby. I'm sure in your circle of friends, someone knows someone who desperately wants a baby. I would also suggest trying to figure out a plan to try and keep this baby. Things may be hard now but they won't always be hard and you don't want to have regrets of giving up your child.

ohhh... i am so sorry for you i don;t know for really what to say... it is a hard decision on you... i think you should keep it... is your child and earlier or later you will regret for giving him for adoption,,, i don;t know what to say with the fees and all that.. but i hope you will manage in some way... i your child! don't forghet that!

I think you would be giving a wonderful gift if you decide to give the baby up for adoption. I think this is really a mature reflection on your part, and kudos to you for it. I commend you for looking at it objectively and recognizing the struggles you may have and that possibly, there is a family out there who have been praying for a baby and would love for you to give them that gift. I would not at all look down upon anybody who gives their baby up for adoption... wether on the front it would seem they were doing it for selfish reasons, deep down, many mothers know that there are other families who are able to offer whatever the mother may not be. I think that by posting this here, you are seeking some kind of assurance that how you are feeling and what you are thinking and considering is ok. And I'm here to tell you, it doesn't matter. What matters, is how YOU feel about it all. I understand it's an emotional time for you, and it's good for you to reach out to others. But I want you to feel in the end like you did what you absolutely believed to be the very best for you AND the baby. I think, if you felt strong enough, you could explore the what-ifs -- you could look into what options are available to you in the way of support if you were to keep the child. Talk to the people you feel the closest to. Talk to the people at your church. And as you are religious, I would really suggest meditating and praying on it. I think that, if you carefully consider all your options, that the Lord will help you make your decision, one way or another. Only you and He can know, in your heart, what is the best in the end. Good luck, and peace to you.

When I was pregnant with my first child, my mother had a startling revelation for me: I had several siblings, all of which except for me were given away. She cried as she told me about holding them and sending them off to a better life. I found two of my siblings that were raised by a relative and knew they were given away. My brother resents me for being the one my mother kept. My sister just chalks it up to mom not wanting kids back when she was born. My mother is deceased now, but going from the crib cards I have found I estimate to have seven or so siblings on this earth, five of which I guess I will never meet. I wonder at times: why me? Why did she keep me and get rid of all the others? It makes me feel guilty at times. So what you feel you can and keep a clean conscience -- and don't let anyone judge you. But I wanted to share my experience as being the kid my mom kept.

Princess...I was just reading through some of the more recent responses in this discussion, and I just have to tell you that I am SOOOO happy that you have decided to keep your baby. I want you to know that I will be praying for you (and your little ones), and I know that you will be fine. God takes care of His children. Take care, and God bless you!

I am adopted. My mother had me at 16 and gave me up for adoption. She later married my biological dad and gave birth to my two brothers. My biological father was abusive to her and she left him to move into a domestic violence shelter while she was pregnant with my sister Elizabeth. She gave up my sister for adoption but with her adoption she did an open adoption so she could contact her later. I found my mother when I was 20 and found out the struggles she went through. She was trying to start her life over with my two brothers and knew she could not care for a 3rd child. She said it was very hard for after already losing me but she knew she could not make it with 3. I was adopted and I know that my adoptive family gave me more than she would have been able to. When I met my mother an my two brothers I was very happy. I was curious about them for years. I never was upset with my mother and understood that she was doing what was best for me and Elizabeth. I have 2 boys myself and know it is a hard world to raise children in. I do not know what I would do facing your situation. There are so many things available to women in your situation that could help if you decide to not put him/her up for adoption but at the same time if you do, I think anyone could understand why. I love my adoptive parents and I know I was afforded more opportunities with them but at the same time I think my life would have turned out alright had I remained with my biological mother. I think you are right to consider this. I really do not think you will be able to make the final decision until after your baby is born. I wish you all the luck in the world and I believe you are trying to do what is best for all of your children. I will pray for you and wish you all the best.

First off, my uncle was adopted. I am greatful everyday that he is a part of our family. His mother was 16 years old, single and definitely could not care for him. I cannot however give you advice on your current situation other than don't do anything you will regret in 1 year, 10 years, or even 25 years. I had to face a similar situation, but it wasn't only adoption to consider...I wasn't in a really serious relationship and was pregnant with my second child. I cried so many nights thinking that I just couldn't do it, that I was going to abort or put the child up for adoption. I went to see my mom one day, who was the only family member that wasn't down my throat about it, and when she told me some of the things that other people were saying, I broke down and went to leave her house. She stopped me and simply said, "Just don't do anything that you will regret in 1 year, 10 years, or even 25 years". She is a smart woman, and I really sat down and thought hard about everything. I knew that I just couldn't go through with the abortion, and that adoption, well great for others, just wasn't for me. We face hard times, I am still a single mother of 2 girls, I am 25, nearly 26 and I am just going to be going back to college this September. But in the long run, it will work out.... Whatever you choose, choose it because that is what YOU want, this is only YOUR decision to make in the long run. Choose wisely, and the best of luck to you in your decision. May God help you during this time.

If your boyfriend is terminally ill, discuss it with him. I would think that if a child had a wonderful, loving, full family, it would be easier for him (and you) to accept if adoption became nessicary. You may be able to receive some kind of aid because of his illness (on behalf of the child). You might look into that if you find the decision difficult.

oh honey, how difficult a decision. I have never given up a child for adoption, but I have lost a child at birth so in some way I can visualize the affect of being separated for life from the child you bore. While I can not tell you what is right for you, I would like to offer this: your situation in life can always change. you may not always be struggling as you are now. If you give your child away, that IS permanent. You may always fret about if you made the right decision also. What's to say that the adoptive parent/s will not end up in the same situation that you are in right now? tragic illness, financial despair etc...? will they still be giving this child more than you think you can offer? Just some more thoughts. (((HUG)))

I have no right to tell you what you should do but i think giving up the child is very wrong, you may regret it very much later in life and you will not be able to reverse it, can you consider giving up one of your two children now? You will love the new one just as much; as soon as he/she is here in our world.. I think you should not consider it unless it's really impossible to take care of the new child, and even then if only someone in your family/friends will adopt him so you will always have a part in your child's life. sorry if this is blunt but you asked for honest opinions.

This is entirely your decision. I just wanted to let you know that I think that adoption can be an incredibly self-sacrificing, selfless choice that can give the gift of a better life to a child. I know that's it's a hard decision to make, and either way you go you're bound to find some pain, but I hope you find a decision you can be proud of, and God bless!

You have already gotten so many responses in so short of time, you may never even get to my response. Here it goes any way. You stated that you came from a christian home. You should know then that the good lord wouldn't give you this baby if he didn't think you could handle it. One more mouth to feed and cloth isn't that much more. Just think how much less other people have and they raie huge happy well adjested families. Good luck to you.

Giving up the baby to any known christian organisation would be best for you is what I think is best,if there is no known way around.But the final decision will be yours to make.You find it difficult.So is your biyfriend.So if the child has to grow well,other option is to handover for adoption.Being a christian mother if you do not find anyway,hand over to any Christian organisation that will bring your child up in best Christian faith.You need to pray over the issue and ask God to guide you to take the best decision possible.Pray for a period of time.God will open a great way for you.Pray,trust and wait upon God to lead you.

It will probably be the most hardest choice you will ever make in your life. You need to really just think everything out. Adoption isn't a bad thing, it's a special thing. It doesn't mean you are a bad person. This is your choice and I'm sure you will make the right one when the time comes. I have a cousin who gave her little girl up for adoption. She took it hard. She cried a lot and always wondered if this was the right choice. It's been 11 years and my cousin still cries about it. People are different in so many ways. You may handle it different or you may handle it worse or the same as my cousin did. Either way you go, it will have some kind of effect on you. I also want to say that my sister has 2 daughters and is a single mom and she is a strong person today. If you decide to keep the baby, I got faith in you, I know you can do it. It will be hard, but it will be worth it. Whatever path you take, god bless you!

I just saw this discussion. Maybe this baby is just meant to be. Maybe in god's eyes you were meant to have another to test your faith. If you were on birth control and still got pregnant, someone is telling you something. I have heard people say , if you have two whats one more? There would be times when it would get rough and tight, but I think it would be worth it. My fear would be what kind of home the child went to or how it was raised. Chances are he/she would look for you down the road. I would be afraid my children I already had would worry that I would give them away if I got tired of them. I think there is a reason you were given this gift. I would consider keeping this miracle.Good luck.

How very sad for you. I say if you cant take care of this baby do a open adoption. That way your still in the childs life. Just remember god will always give you what you need. MY be the parents of you boyfriend could help you out or even take the baby for you being as there son is ill. Best of luck.

adoption may not be the best solution but it's better than having an abortion. if you think that your baby will have a better future well by all means. i'm sure when the baby grows up and finds out that she/he is adopted your child will go looking for his/her real parents. my aunt who was 35 yrs old when she found out that she was adopted still opted to see her real parents even though she was treated well by my grand parents. she said that no matter what she has to know where she came from. if you think at this time you can't support your baby might as well give it to someone who can. i'm sure you child will thank you eventually for choosing to give her up for adoption than suffer the life that you are currently in.

Adoption is your only choice then! Imagine your child all grown up, knowing the "parents" they grew up with isn't even his. Imagine him wondering who his parents REALLY are. It will be very sad and tough.